What do you feel like saying, right now?

[Zach]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I told him what I said here- that I loved him then and it didn't go away, I just locked it away in the part of my heart I had given to him and moved on. But that being with him again has unlocked it. That's when he said he always thought of me with fondness and some regret for breaking things off. He said he was valuing the wrong things then. I told him I thought we both needed to grow and it wouldn't have worked then anyway. At that age, I really couldn't see my value. I only saw what men thought of me. I was very codependent and thought I had no value without having a man. It was through my first (very abusive) marriage that I learned to value myself and have standards for how I expected to be treated and to believe that I was fine on my own, without a man. Until that happened, I couldn't have had a healthy relationship.

We are having some very deep and serious discussions about expectations and what we want from our relationship and our goals, etc. Very good open and honest communication.

I hope you don’t get married to him. Just have him as a boyfriend. Same benefits without the bs. He been married before?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Zach

I hope you don’t get married to him. Just have him as a boyfriend. Same benefits without the bs. He been married before?

He was married for 25 years and has been divorced for about 10 years. I've shared my concerns about marriage with him. Things are far more complicated when you have adult children and things you want your kids to inherit and ask these other legal things. I don't say I'd never get married because there are situations where I would, but it's not necessarily the goal.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by Zach

I hope you don’t get married to him. Just have him as a boyfriend. Same benefits without the bs. He been married before?

Lmao! Zach is hell bent on saving people from getting married Lol! I feel you though. Some people are just cut out for it. I think the sex would be the only benefit from it.

Originally Posted by AGDee

He was married for 25 years and has been divorced for about 10 years. I've shared my concerns about marriage with him. Things are far more complicated when you have adult children and things you want your kids to inherit and ask these other legal things. I don't say I'd never get married because there are situations where I would, but it's not necessarily the goal.

You’re brave as hell if you do it.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Lmao! Zach is hell bent on saving people from getting married Lol! I feel you though. Some people are just cut out for it. I think the sex would be the only benefit from it.

You’re brave as hell if you do it.

I mean- we're getting pretty old so it's not like it would last very long. Lol

[Zach]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Lmao! Zach is hell bent on saving people from getting married Lol! I feel you though. Some people are just cut out for it. I think the sex would be the only benefit from it.

Haha. I don’t see any benefit, and sex is way overrated. I’d rather take a three week long road trip, fishing, like I did over the summer. No whining, nagging chick to drive along with. Just me, my RV, and my fishing equipment.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I mean- we're getting pretty old so it's not like it would last very long. Lol

Lmao!

Originally Posted by Zach

Haha. I don’t see any benefit, and sex is way overrated. I’d rather take a three week long road trip, fishing, like I did over the summer. No whining, nagging chick to drive along with. Just me, my RV, and my fishing equipment.

Dude, you probably have a low sex drive or something. I feel you on the nagging, but I’m not turning down a piece of ass. Foreplay and sex is the greatest feeling on the planet. I could fuck all night. What planet are you on? For real Lol.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Foreplay and sex is the greatest feeling on the planet.

https://youtu.be/u0CLdVlJ4eA?si=8C8nOzz3_WZcCxLJ

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

I could fuck all night.

His sex-drive is low and yours is extremely high, if you can go all night like that. Good Lord, I’d dehydrate and pass out. You’d fit right in at one of P. Diddy’s freak out sessions. 😂

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

https://youtu.be/u0CLdVlJ4eA?si=8C8nOzz3_WZcCxLJ

Lmfao! I hollered!

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

His sex-drive is low and yours is extremely high, if you can go all night like that. Good Lord, I’d dehydrate and pass out. You’d fit right in at one of P. Diddy’s freak out sessions. 😂

Lol! Not literally, but I’m not passing it up when it’s offered. That’s what I meant.

Dude, I wouldn’t be caught dead at a Diddy freak off Lol!!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I told him what I said here- that I loved him then and it didn't go away, I just locked it away in the part of my heart I had given to him and moved on. But that being with him again has unlocked it. That's when he said he always thought of me with fondness and some regret for breaking things off. He said he was valuing the wrong things then. I told him I thought we both needed to grow and it wouldn't have worked then anyway. At that age, I really couldn't see my value. I only saw what men thought of me. I was very codependent and thought I had no value without having a man. It was through my first (very abusive) marriage that I learned to value myself and have standards for how I expected to be treated and to believe that I was fine on my own, without a man. Until that happened, I couldn't have had a healthy relationship.

We are having some very deep and serious discussions about expectations and what we want from our relationship and our goals, etc. Very good open and honest communication.

Good for you, Dee! I am so glad you’ve raised your standards high, and that you value yourself now. You are priceless and such a wonderful person, and you SO deserve the best!

lol
I’m glad the two of you are having the “expectation” conversation. That’s like a must. That’s going to take time, but you’ll get there.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

He was married for 25 years and has been divorced for about 10 years. I've shared my concerns about marriage with him. Things are far more complicated when you have adult children and things you want your kids to inherit and ask these other legal things. I don't say I'd never get married because there are situations where I would, but it's not necessarily the goal.

lol
Hilarious! What did he say when you told him how you feel about marriage? Where was he with that? Would he do it a second time? I can’t remember if you said he had kids or not. Does he have kids?

[PrettyBoy]

What I came over here to post: Our pretty boy stereotype didn’t just fall out of the sky. Just putting that out there. ♦️👌🏽

[Zach]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Dude, you probably have a low sex drive or something. I feel you on the nagging, but I’m not turning down a piece of ass. Foreplay and sex is the greatest feeling on the planet. I could fuck all night. What planet are you on? For real Lol.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

https://youtu.be/u0CLdVlJ4eA?si=8C8nOzz3_WZcCxLJ


His sex-drive is low and yours is extremely high, if you can go all night like that. Good Lord, I’d dehydrate and pass out. You’d fit right in at one of P. Diddy’s freak out sessions. 😂

Haha. Real talk, tho. I don’t have a low sex drive. I enjoy sex like the next dude, but it’s overrated in a sense that to be married to someone and put up with all the drama that comes with marriage, but you get a short time for sex, in comparison. It’s not worth it. Think about it. You get your rocks off, but compare that length of time with the longevity of the drama and arguments that come with marriage. You don’t even know if the person you’re married to is going to stay. That’s worth it? Some couples don’t even have sex or sleep in the same bed. Been there with my second wife.

[John]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
Well, I’m glad you think I’m doing better with it than I think I am.

It’s probably easier than I think. I think it’s the terminology that makes it complicated. Kinda like a foreign language? I’ll bet if I understood the language and how everything relates to the other, then I’d probably be like… “Ohhhhh, I get it now!” lol.

Was thinking of another way to explain what the forum software is doing with the very long threads...

Imagine you're in a library & ask for the September 2024 issue of some magazine. The librarian then proceeds to gather up every single copy of that magazine, something like 10 years worth of issues, a giant stack. Carries it all over to you, looks through everything, then gives you the one magazine you wanted, leaves with the rest of the giant stack to return them to the shelves. That's sort of what the current forum software does with the very long discussion threads.

And in the new/next forum software version of that example, the librarian would just find the September 2024 magazine and hand it to you. Nothing else to do. Much more efficient that way.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Zach

Haha. Real talk, tho. I don’t have a low sex drive. I enjoy sex like the next dude, but it’s overrated in a sense that to be married to someone and put up with all the drama that comes with marriage, but you get a short time for sex, in comparison. It’s not worth it. Think about it. You get your rocks off, but compare that length of time with the longevity of the drama and arguments that come with marriage. You don’t even know if the person you’re married to is going to stay. That’s worth it? Some couples don’t even have sex or sleep in the same bed. Been there with my second wife.

Her needs are different from yours and vice versa. When needs go unmet, then you have couples sleeping in separate beds. Bottom line is that human beings didn’t create sex, God did. Because sex was His idea to begin with, I’m only going to see it and follow it from His perspective.

His perspective is that sex was and still is meant to strengthen a marriage bond, which should be a covenant relationship that mirrors His covenant. He also designed it for a lifelong, faithful, permanent, and responsible relationship, which in turn is met within the context of marriage. That’s the perspective I believe in and the perspective I will continue to follow. I’m not going to see it from your viewpoint.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by Zach

Haha. Real talk, tho. I don’t have a low sex drive. I enjoy sex like the next dude, but it’s overrated in a sense that to be married to someone and put up with all the drama that comes with marriage, but you get a short time for sex, in comparison. It’s not worth it. Think about it. You get your rocks off, but compare that length of time with the longevity of the drama and arguments that come with marriage. You don’t even know if the person you’re married to is going to stay. That’s worth it? Some couples don’t even have sex or sleep in the same bed. Been there with my second wife.

That’s only if you don’t have a good one. My problem is, I don’t want to put a lot into when (like you said), her chances of bouncing are a lot higher than her staying, based on statistics. I’d rather take the free sex and not commit. AGDee said her boyfriend was married for 25 years and then got divorced. That’s a long time to be married, to then just throw in the towel. I’ll bet it was his ex wife’s call to divorce.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Her needs are different from yours and vice versa. When needs go unmet, then you have couples sleeping in separate beds. Bottom line is that human beings didn’t create sex, God did. Because sex was His idea to begin with, I’m only going to see it and follow it from His perspective.

His perspective is that sex was and still is meant to strengthen a marriage bond, which should be a covenant relationship that mirrors His covenant. He also designed it for a lifelong, faithful, permanent, and responsible relationship, which in turn is met within the context of marriage. That’s the perspective I believe in and the perspective I will continue to follow. I’m not going to see it from your viewpoint.

I believe God is real and I believe the Bible is real, but God’s way takes too much time, thought, and energy, PB. I like what humans have changed it to - Quick and easy, with no thought Lol!