Rush - What to NOT do or say

[ztamsu07]

To the rushers (actives):

Please have respect in yourself and the wonderful greek organization you are a part of. Now don't take this as you should be concited, not at all, but just read my story and you'll understand..

When I was going through rush, I talked to girls at one house and while we were on the house tour, they showed me a bedroom with pictures of places they'd gone with the sorority and stuff like that and told me about them. Wonderful. But for some reason, the girl would continually say, "Well we hosted blah blah, but I didn't go" or "we went to whatever city for our philanthropy, but I didn't go" and said that about just about every event. Now, why would I want to be in a sorority that doesn't want to attend their own events?? Anyway.. I dropped them, but still got invited back the next day, so...

It was now philanthropy day. I got better girls that day, but the last one I only had time to talk to for a minute. There were pictures of the girls doing philanthropic events on each table, and the active looked at a picture and say "Oh! That's my roommate/bestfriend, isn't she PRETTY?" I politely answered yes, because of course, she was, but then she asked "Don't you like her hair??" Once again, polite yes, because I did, it wasn't a lie, but I wasn't exactly sure why I was asked that and it definately made me uncomforable. Luckily we left right after that, but on the way out, she saw a picture of herself on another table and yelled "Oh my gosh! That is so cruel!!" and turned the picture of herself around! It was a great picture of course, and I know I sure wouldn't make a fool out of myself during rush like that no matter how bad of a picture it actually was.

Needless to say I didn't go back. Girls, seriously, we are all intelligent, involved, beautiful women, and so please "sell" (for lack of a better word) your sorority in a way that you would continually want it to be percived. I now know a ton of girls from that sorority, and they are all excellent! If by getting to know these girls I think they're great, I don't know why during rush we can't at least portray ourselves as being excellent, because I know we all are. Keep that in mind, you are making a reputation for your sorority to these girls during recrutment, so please respect yourselves and show off your sorority as a great one. I know they all are.

Why shouldn't that be kept quiet about the married woman wanted to rush

[aggiegphi]

Hopefully this doesn't happen to you, but if it does please be aware of your surroundings...
If you happen to have a break under the tents and are talking with your Rho Gammas/ Recruitment Counselors/etc. about your options of remaining houses, and the RCs suddenly start bashing the houses, a) please don't listen to them, b) don't engage further into that topic, c) tell a member of the Panhellenic staff/ Greek Life advisor about the incident.
This happened one year I was on Panhellenic staff and a member of the chapter being talked about was standing behind the Recruitment Counselors at the time, but they did not realize it.

Remember to have fun in ALL of the houses, trust me the girls will remember you later if you acted any in way rude or bored.

[alphagamgirl06]

What I am about to say has probably all ready been mention but I feel the need to give some advise to PNMs and Actives during Formal Recruitment. I have seen way to many things done and said that just shouldnt happen.


PNMs

• If you go to more than 1 pref party when it comes time to fill out your pref card please think about it long and hard. If you know that you went to a pref party for a chapter that you know you wont accept a bid from please dont rank them. I would never want to advise suiciding but in some cases I would rather you suicide than reject a bid. Just because on bid when that sorority is expecting you to run out with all the other new memebers and it is really sad when they give 22 bids and only 11 girls accept them. And if you do accept the bid to a chapter that wasnt your first choice on bid day please dont be rude and cry and ignore the sisters of that chapter.
• During a party never tell the active girl you dont like her chapter. How would you feel if somebody said they didnt like your whole family. Its not nice and just rude.
• Lastly, Please never tell an active you would cry if you dont get a bid from her chapter because you put her in a really awkward situation.

Actives

• When a girl tells you she she doesnt like your chapter please just smile and tell her that you are happy she is excited about joining greek life. Just because she is rude to you doesnt mean you should stoop down to her level.
• When bid day doesnt turn out the way you hoped please keep a smile on your face and celebrate your new members. You should never have a negative attitude on bid day.
• Please Please dont constantly talk about yourself when talking to a pnm. You are trying to get to know her if she ask you a question about yourself keep it short and sweet. Dont go on and on and on about yourself. If you must talk about yourself talk mainly about your chapter then.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by alphagamgirl06

[*]When bid day doesnt turn out the way you hoped please keep a smile on your face and celebrate your new members. You should never have a negative attitude on bid day.

Ain't that the truth....

If you got 5 girls when the other sororities got 30...make the most of your bid day with those girls. They may have friends who didn't want to go through rush or who dropped out or who got cut who would make AWESOME sisters. That's what COB is for. They will be more likely to recommend joining if you stay positive.

If you find out the girl who you and half the sorority wanted for your little joined another group instead...hash out your feelings in private with your sisters, and then MOVE ON. Yeah, it hurts to be screwed over by a rushee like this....but it often turns out that a few years down the line she's regretting her decision.

[PhiSigLisa]

Please, please respect the "bubble" of personal space. I had a PNM who I had met once before leaning all over me at a COB event. It made me so uncomfortable and I'm not one of those "don't touch me" types!

Also, school always comes first. Don't skip class to come to events (my school has a lot of night classes for certain majors) and don't blow off your work. And if you do, don't talk about it!

[DDDlady]

I am sure that this has already been mentioned in another post, but these 2 things (especially the 1st one) are things you should never say during recruitment.

1) The semester before recruitment, our campus hosts a Saturday of brunches at the houses for girls that are seniors in high school or are planning to go through recruitment. These are short, informal things that last only about 20 minutes or so. The girls come in, grab a glass of punch, and chat to some actives. Anyway... This one girl come in to our house, starts talking to an active, and the first question out of her mouth is, "So tell me about all of the stereotypes for each of the houses. Like which ones are the smart girls, the party girls, the you really don't want to be their sister house?" The actives mouth fell open, and politely replied that we do not give merit to any stereotypes and all of the houses have their own unique personalities.

2) PNMs please.... If you are a legacy to another house, that is fine. I was a legacy to another house than the one I pledged. That said... DO NOT walk into a house, announce that you are an in house legacy, you will be there on bid day, and that you hate the house you are in. That is so rude, and if your legacy falls through (which happens more and more every year due to increasing numbers), you have ruined any chance you had with any other house.

[megangammaphi]

I just wanted to say that of all the things i have read on this discussion the MOST important one for PNM's is if you do not like a house do NOT be rude to that girl and here's a reason I do not believe has been mentioned: chances are the girl you are rude to HAS FRIENDS IN OTHER HOUSES. Just because you don't like one house as much as another doesn't mean you can be mean to them, because when someone is overly rude in our rush we are urged to report them to panellenic and all other houses are told what that girl has said. So that house you liked so much more than the one you were rude to, well you can kiss it good bye.

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by megangammaphi

I just wanted to say that of all the things i have read on this discussion the MOST important one for PNM's is if you do not like a house do NOT be rude to that girl and here's a reason I do not believe has been mentioned: chances are the girl you are rude to HAS FRIENDS IN OTHER HOUSES. Just because you don't like one house as much as another doesn't mean you can be mean to them, because when someone is overly rude in our rush we are urged to report them to panellenic and all other houses are told what that girl has said. So that house you liked so much more than the one you were rude to, well you can kiss it good bye.

I totally agree with this! Whenever there has been a super rude girl in our house during recruitment, she "mysteriously" drops out or doesnt get a bid, probably due to the fact that GIRLS TALK!!

[alphagamgirl06]

Originally Posted by megangammaphi

I just wanted to say that of all the things i have read on this discussion the MOST important one for PNM's is if you do not like a house do NOT be rude to that girl and here's a reason I do not believe has been mentioned: chances are the girl you are rude to HAS FRIENDS IN OTHER HOUSES. Just because you don't like one house as much as another doesn't mean you can be mean to them, because when someone is overly rude in our rush we are urged to report them to panellenic and all other houses are told what that girl has said. So that house you liked so much more than the one you were rude to, well you can kiss it good bye.

I Agree so much and the same thing goes for actives. When you meet a pnm that you don't like don't be rude to her because you never know who her friends or roommate are. Her best friend could be your rush crush and when that poor pnm who you were rude to tells her friend about it chances are that other girl will no longer be interested in your chapter.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by megangammaphi

I just wanted to say that of all the things i have read on this discussion the MOST important one for PNM's is if you do not like a house do NOT be rude to that girl and here's a reason I do not believe has been mentioned: chances are the girl you are rude to HAS FRIENDS IN OTHER HOUSES.

So true. As an alumna, I can tell you that yes, we talk. If there was someone who was horribly rude, I had no problem telling my friends in other sororities.

[KSUViolet06]

Something important:

Be mindful of what you post here on GreekChat.

Don't ever assume "oh sorority members from my school don't post/lurk here."

Thousands of people come to this site every day. Some of them could very well include sorority members from your school.

If you're on GC posting really specific questions and including identifying information in your posts, it's not hard for girls from your school to figure out who you are.

This is no big deal if you're just asking normal questions about rush.

But if you're asking questions like "who's the best" or saying things about different sororities on campus "i.e. I will only consider ABC & XYZ", recruitment could become VERY difficult for you if sorority members from your school see that.


A general rule of thumb about posting here: If you wouldn't want a sorority member from your school to see it, don't post it.

[PANTHERTEKE]

I know this is for sororities but I have something to add, and since you girls are always crashing the Fraternity Recruitment forum I don't think you all would mind

Anyways... Something to think about is what you say, even if you THINK no one is paying attention.

This past spring we had some guy said "If I don't get a bid I'm slitting my wrists" and a brother overheard it, so sure enough......he didn't get a bid. Lol.

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally Posted by PANTHERTEKE

Anyways... Something to think about is what you say, even if you THINK no one is paying attention.

This past spring we had some guy said "If I don't get a bid I'm slitting my wrists" and a brother overheard it, so sure enough......he didn't get a bid. Lol.

I'm going to expand that to say, in general, don't mention mental/physical illness at all. Otherwise you'll get pegged as "the Ebola (or whatever) rushee."

[ASUADPi]

DON'T wear clothes that you can't sit in! A girl went through recruitment at ASU like 4 years ago, she was a legacy to us, and she showed up chewing gum (another no-no), wearing a backwards baseball cap and a jean skirt. The kicker was that she sat with her legs wide open and the sisters saw her thong. DON'T DO THIS! (What was worse is that it was the first round and we couldn't drop her, thankfully she dropped us, besides the clothing issue the girls hated her)

DON'T assume that your legacy house will be a "shoo-in". Too often we have read threads from legacy's who just don't fit in with their legacy house and pledge elsewhere which goes to the DO keep your options open.