Mothers and Daughters - Page 2

irishpipes · #1 08-08-2008, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmc

My school is a southern school, but Big 12 not SEC. (From the way it sounds SEC rush is WAYYY intense). Anyways, sorry to be so blunt but are you all implying that being a legacy to my mom's university and sorority could hurt me? Her sorority is a great group of girls, I would be honored to be a part of it, and I know I wont know exactly how they are until I rush since groups change over the years, but my mother and I are very different people with different personalities. Do I run the risk of not clicking with her XYZ sorority (and getting cut) and getting cut from ABC sorority that I do click with simply because I am my mother's daughter?

Overanalyzing, I know. But I would like to know how much emphasis I should place (gracefully, of course) when talking to the sisters on my finding my own house that fits the best with me, whether it be XYZ or any other GLO.

Some of the southern Big XII schools have very intense recruitments also. (Oklahoma, Texas, etc.)

Titchou · #2 08-13-2008, 06:11 PM

I would be willing to bet at UGA they all knew she was a legacy to your group whether she told them or not. In the south, we know these things - as a previous poster said!

Zillini · #3 08-13-2008, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I can testify to the importance of not bringing up your legacy status in conversation since I mentioned my active AOII sister at parties (I couldn't think of anything else to talk about since I'm nervous in those situations!) and was promptly cut despite a great application from every group...even the struggling chapter. I unknowingly gave off the impression that I was only interested in AOII from day 1. Not a good idea. Just having a legacy on your application is not going to hurt you at the vast majority of schools unless they include Bama, Georgia or any other big SEC school. Those recruitments are completely different!

P.S. If asked about your mother, stress that she wants you to be happy at the chapter that is right for YOU!

There's a huge difference between having an in-house active sister and a mom who graduated 18 years ago. Right or wrong, the assumption is the PNM wants to pledge where here sister is.

AOII Angel · #4 08-13-2008, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zillini

There's a huge difference between having an in-house active sister and a mom who graduated 18 years ago. Right or wrong, the assumption is the PNM wants to pledge where here sister is.

Of course that is true, but some chapters apparently will cut you for being a legacy. I cannot assume that I would have been cut regardless of my comments since my roommate was the sister of the KD president with worse grades than me and was not cut from all of the groups. She did pledge KD in the end, but she went to Phi Mu for prefs as well. No matter what your legacy is, talking about it too much without making sure your rusher knows you are keeping an open mind is not wise. People have certainly been cut for less.

uamomma · #5 08-14-2008, 10:01 PM

Do the sororities know who the PNM's are actually going back to for each round? Who their competition is? The PNM may have already cut their legacy chapter....or vice versa.

FSUZeta · #6 08-14-2008, 10:05 PM

unless the pnm shares that information with her rush hostess, ordinarily the sororities do not know-they are not about to share who came back to their parties, who is on their invitation list, etc. with other sororities and the recruitment counselors and the panhellenic officers are disaffiliated from their chapters and are not supposed to be communicating with their chapters.

gee_ess · #7 08-14-2008, 10:47 PM

Co-sign with FSUZeta.

One tip: if a pnm has CUT her legacy (ABC) house, it doesn't hurt to let that be known to the (XYZ) house where you are most interested. Often, XYZ house is just assuming that the legacy will be returning to the legacy house, and can sometimes base a cut on that line of thinking. So, if a pnm can tell them, it lets them know she is open to another house besides her legacy house.

Wow, that was not worded very well, but I am tired...

uamomma · #8 08-14-2008, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Co-sign with FSUZeta.

One tip: if a pnm has CUT her legacy (ABC) house, it doesn't hurt to let that be known to the (XYZ) house where you are most interested. Often, XYZ house is just assuming that the legacy will be returning to the legacy house, and can sometimes base a cut on that line of thinking. So, if a pnm can tell them, it lets them know she is open to another house besides her legacy house.

Wow, that was not worded very well, but I am tired...

I hadn't thought about that. That would be important to bring up. I think that was very well worded!!

elleyk5187 · #9 08-14-2008, 11:20 PM

HI!

i went through recruitment at the same school my mom attended & was a kappa at. i think on your registration you put that you're a legacy, etc. this is given to all the chapters, so they have the ability to know if they want to.

for me personally, it got brought up a lot. i got the "why did you decide to go through recruitment?" since i was a transfer student in january & that was my first experience at butler. i often said "well my mom was in a house when she was in college so i've seen first hand how wonderful it is. in fact, her best friend now was in her house when she was in college." sometimes girls got gutsy and tried to ask what chapter & i politely said something about how it didn't matter to me & that i had an extremely open mind, etc.

FSUZeta · #10 08-15-2008, 07:23 AM

congratulations on joining kkg. a pnm does not have to declare her legacy status on the recruitment enrollment forms, and even if she does, there are schools that will cover that information when they are copying the form to give to the sororities. that way only ABC chapter will see that she is an "ABC" legacy-the others will see a blacked out blank.

elleyk5187 · #11 08-15-2008, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

congratulations on joining kkg. a pnm does not have to declare her legacy status on the recruitment enrollment forms, and even if she does, there are schools that will cover that information when they are copying the form to give to the sororities. that way only ABC chapter will see that she is an "ABC" legacy-the others will see a blacked out blank.

i have a feeling this varies from school to school. i was told after all was said & done that the chapters are given this information from registration so they all knew without me telling them.

also, if someone writes a rec it often asks about legacies so of course they can find out through there too.

FSUZeta · #12 08-15-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elleyk5187

i have a feeling this varies from school to school. i was told after all was said & done that the chapters are given this information from registration so they all knew without me telling them.

also, if someone writes a rec it often asks about legacies so of course they can find out through there too.

your are correct in thinking that sharing legacy information varies from school to school-that is what i said.

elleyk5187 · #13 08-15-2008, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

your are correct in thinking that sharing legacy information varies from school to school-that is what i said.

i suppose i suck at reading, cause i totally skipped that part. haha.

sorry! maybe i should stop skimming so much, i do that with school too.

phimu88 · #14 08-15-2008, 03:15 PM

My daughter told me that at every single house they asked her "Are you the first one to go greek in your family" (or something along those lines) so they were fishing to find out if she was a legacy somewhere. She always said "no my mom and my aunt were both Phi Mu, but I am going through rush with an open mind. I want to make sure I choose the right sorority for me". I think it worked because she only got cut from one sorority, and that was one she was planning to cut anyway, they just beat her to it. haha She wasnt upset, but she shocked me a couple of times by her cuts and liking one sorority so much one day and cutting them the next! I also thought she was going to go with a different sorority as her #1 by the way she talked about them all week and she ended up cutting them before pref!! Crazy! I was really surprised that she went through it so calmly and based her decisions so rationally from one party to the next. Phi Mu treated her very well and she felt that was the group of girls she would really fit in with the best. That is the reason she chose Phi Mu and it had nothing to do with her being a legacy. I am proud of her for the way she went through rush. Following her own instincts and not blindly following my past or where her high school friends were going.