Rushing lonely

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by graciegiraffe07

I am a rising sophomore at a small college with a large greek population. I have social anxiety disorder, and it is very difficult for me to speak to people I am not used to, even if they speak to me first. I am a sweet, nice person, but I am afraid that because of my disorder I sometimes give people the impression that I am stuck up and unfriendly. I know several girls in sororities on my campus from class, dorm, etc. but I am not really friends with any of them. I want more than anything to break through my disorder and make friends. However, I am afraid that some girls that are acquainted with me may have gotten the wrong impression of me. I want to rush in the fall but I am afraid that this will hurt my chances of getting into a sorority and later, thriving in it. When I go through recruitment, should I tell members I talk to one on one that I have SAD, or should I just suck it up and try my best to show them how sweet and fun I really am?

I admit my understanding of your condition is limited, but what I do know is that it will make your life and especially a traditional southern formal recrutiment difficult. I hope you are seeking treatment. As others have said, if you find a way to inform rushers in a casual manner it might help.

However, and please know I'm not trying to be hurtful, merely honest. You had an entire year on campus and you got to know some actives. You're worried they think you're stuck up, so I assume you didn't approach them to explain in a private, less intimidating setting. You should have. Then they could have presented it to their sisters. That would have been far easier then trying to explain in the 15 minutes of a 1st round party to someone who doesn't know you and has no reason to go out on a limb for you. What may happen now is if your rusher explains your condition to the chapter, those who know you respond "I've known her over a year and she never even bothered to tell me any of that."

I do wish you luck.

[Fleur de Lis]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Also, you might get the women who write your recs/letters to include your shyness, etc in their introduction of you. It is nice to have a "heads up" about a girl who may come across as unfriendly and is really just very shy.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest. They don't need to go into detail about your diagnosis, but mentioning that you have trouble opening up but really are excited about joining will make a difference. These women can also be a great resource for practicing answering questions about yourself and your goals. During recruitment, try to smile and make eye contact as well, because body language can speak volumes. Good luck!

[SoCalGirl]

This thread is the perfect opportunity for a TWOP/Glarkware link!

[graciegiraffe07]

Originally Posted by Zillini

I admit my understanding of your condition is limited, but what I do know is that it will make your life and especially a traditional southern formal recrutiment difficult. I hope you are seeking treatment. As others have said, if you find a way to inform rushers in a casual manner it might help.

However, and please know I'm not trying to be hurtful, merely honest. You had an entire year on campus and you got to know some actives. You're worried they think you're stuck up, so I assume you didn't approach them to explain in a private, less intimidating setting. You should have. Then they could have presented it to their sisters. That would have been far easier then trying to explain in the 15 minutes of a 1st round party to someone who doesn't know you and has no reason to go out on a limb for you. What may happen now is if your rusher explains your condition to the chapter, those who know you respond "I've known her over a year and she never even bothered to tell me any of that."

I do wish you luck.

Thanks... I haven't really gotten to know anybody at my school, I just have a few acquaintances, you know, people you say "hi" to but don't really talk to. So hopefully they won't be offended if and when they find out my condition. I am not at a big SEC school or anything, I am at an itty-bitty private school where 99% of pledges got their top choice sorority this year, so hopefully it won't be too competitive/intimidating?

I am getting help, it took me a while to get up the courage but I started seeing a personal counselor who recommended that I try medication... by the way has anyone had an experience (good or bad) with medication for drugs that affect your behavior? I am trying to weigh the pros and cons, I just want to hear some real-life experiences with them.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by graciegiraffe07

I am getting help, it took me a while to get up the courage but I started seeing a personal counselor who recommended that I try medication... by the way has anyone had an experience (good or bad) with medication for drugs that affect your behavior? I am trying to weigh the pros and cons, I just want to hear some real-life experiences with them.

Please, please, please do not ask for medical information online. What has worked or not worked for someone else may not give you the same results. Especially when you are dealing with medications that work on your central nervous system. The only person/people you should ask information from are licensed professionals - doctor, therapist, pharmacist. And, of course, get hold of the official prescribing information that would come with the medication - you can find it online at rxchecker.com or your pharmacist.

And remember that listed side effects for any medication are not necessarily caused by the medication. For example, lets say that 100 people tested the medication. Five of those people ended up getting the flu. Now, would they have gotten the flu if they were NOT on the drug? There's a good chance. But, because they have to write down every symptom they have while on the study, the flu ends up becoming a "possible side effect" in 5% of study participants.

I strongly suggest that you take this discussion off-line and with your private physician. For your own privacy and safety.

[lauralaylin]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

This thread is the perfect opportunity for a TWOP/Glarkware link!

This is my favorite t-shirt design ever. I've stopped buying tees as I get so many for free, but I had to buy this one because it's so hysterical. No one really asks me about it though....

Sorry for the hijack, I couldn't help myself.

[ZTA72]

sending you a PM

[graciegiraffe07]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Please, please, please do not ask for medical information online. What has worked or not worked for someone else may not give you the same results. Especially when you are dealing with medications that work on your central nervous system. The only person/people you should ask information from are licensed professionals - doctor, therapist, pharmacist. And, of course, get hold of the official prescribing information that would come with the medication - you can find it online at rxchecker.com or your pharmacist.

And remember that listed side effects for any medication are not necessarily caused by the medication. For example, lets say that 100 people tested the medication. Five of those people ended up getting the flu. Now, would they have gotten the flu if they were NOT on the drug? There's a good chance. But, because they have to write down every symptom they have while on the study, the flu ends up becoming a "possible side effect" in 5% of study participants.

I strongly suggest that you take this discussion off-line and with your private physician. For your own privacy and safety.

Don't worry, I am not going to make any medical decisions based on what people online have to say. I am just curious to see if anyone has had success with them.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by graciegiraffe07

Thanks... I haven't really gotten to know anybody at my school, I just have a few acquaintances, you know, people you say "hi" to but don't really talk to. So hopefully they won't be offended if and when they find out my condition. I am not at a big SEC school or anything, I am at an itty-bitty private school where 99% of pledges got their top choice sorority this year, so hopefully it won't be too competitive/intimidating?

I am getting help, it took me a while to get up the courage but I started seeing a personal counselor who recommended that I try medication... by the way has anyone had an experience (good or bad) with medication for drugs that affect your behavior? I am trying to weigh the pros and cons, I just want to hear some real-life experiences with them.

Well you may have already told them if they read this. The information you've given on this site is probably enough for someone to identify you if they know you.

[AOII Angel]

I've PM'd you, Gracie.

[graciegiraffe07]

Thanks for all the help I have gotten so far! There is something else I need advice on- When I signed up for a dorm to live in during the fall, I did not have a roommate. I was placed in a suite with 3 other girls who did not have roommates either. The suite we will live in has 4 1-person bedrooms and we share a living room and bathroom. 2 of the girls who I will be sharing a suite with are in two different sororities. I don't know either of them at all. How should I handle living with sorority women I don't know while going through recruitment!?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by graciegiraffe07

How should I handle living with sorority women I don't know while going through recruitment!?

Handle it just like you'd handle living with any other girls. Most likely, there are rules about what they can discuss with you recruitment-wise anyway. If they know you're going through recruitment, they'll be a little cautious about potentially dirty rushing you in front of the other sorority member anyway.

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by graciegiraffe07

Thanks for all the help I have gotten so far! There is something else I need advice on- When I signed up for a dorm to live in during the fall, I did not have a roommate. I was placed in a suite with 3 other girls who did not have roommates either. The suite we will live in has 4 1-person bedrooms and we share a living room and bathroom. 2 of the girls who I will be sharing a suite with are in two different sororities. I don't know either of them at all. How should I handle living with sorority women I don't know while going through recruitment!?

This could be a good thing. (Not because I think you should talk to them about anything having to do with recruitment, because you definitely shouldn't.) Treat them as any other girls you would move in with, and make an effort to be at ease, get to know them, and to see your sweetness and shyness first hand. It could end up that they would say, "Oh, that's my roommate. She's really sweet and seems like a great girl. She's just shy."

I so just want to hug you. Good luck and I hope you enjoy the experience and find your home.

[FSUZeta]

i am sure your roommates will be on the up and up, but don't share any opinions with them about any of the sororities. if they ask you anything about rush, a simple,"i'm enjoying meeting all the girls," or "i'm enjoying learning about the different sororities/philanthrophies/activities they are involved in on campus,etc." should suffice.

do your best to be friendly with your roommates. it will be a new school year, so look at it as the opportunity to turn over a new leaf.

[baci]

I have to say having the roommates could work out to your advantage. Do be careful about what you share with them, but try and get to know them and allow them to get to know you. (It goes both ways) This may help you in recruitment as well. It is also a super start to a new year.