Facebook Advice

[ktbug10474]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Seriously, if people would just read the thread that is already stickied, labeled "General Advice"...

lol i forgot all about that ... you make a great point .... the advice threads keep coming up all over the place and i agree the general advice is a great thread.. i haven't read it since i got an account on GC but definitely this fall i'm going to re read it.

[dukedg]

I just want to give a perspective (which I believe we discussed before) from the collegians that I advised: they definitely thought it was odd or suspicious if you
a. did not have a facebook account (i.e., you didn't come up in searches)
b. had a private account (what were you trying to hide?)

I would be interested to hear from other chapter advisors if this was the case at their chapters also. I would suggest for anyone going through Recruitment at Cal that you follow the advice at the top of the thread regarding "maintaining" your page rather than make it private, deactivated etc.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by dukedg

I just want to give a perspective (which I believe we discussed before) from the collegians that I advised: they definitely thought it was odd or suspicious if you
a. did not have a facebook account (i.e., you didn't come up in searches)
b. had a private account (what were you trying to hide?)

At my alma mater, most chapters require their members to have a friends only profile and the Rho Gammas advise PNMs to set their profiles to friends only. It's not necessarily that you're trying to hide your drunken fun times, it is also a safety issue, (i.e. to prevent someone from stalking you).

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by dukedg

I just want to give a perspective (which I believe we discussed before) from the collegians that I advised: they definitely thought it was odd or suspicious if you
a. did not have a facebook account (i.e., you didn't come up in searches)
b. had a private account (what were you trying to hide?)

I don't think this is the case at most schools. Alot of girls have private profiles (or don't even HAVE Facebook) just for the sake of personal safety (they don't feel comfortable with having personal info out there). It's not always because they are suspicious.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I don't think this is the case at most schools. Alot of girls have private profiles (or don't even HAVE Facebook) just for the sake of personal safety (they don't feel comfortable with having personal info out there). It's not always because they are suspicious.

I agree... my facebook & myspace accounts have always been friends only. I'm not trying to hide anything, I just consider it a safety issue. It can be easy to extrapilate (sp?) personal info from random profile info/blogs/etc.

I don't really see why that is "suspect". I'm not trying to hide anything, I just don't want any stalkers

[dukedg]

I see what you all are saying about your opinions and safety, but I am giving you the view of the 18-22 year-olds that I worked with. Just to be clear, the members at Cal must make their accounts private during recruitment.

I just want to put this out their to PNMs and I'm only speaking from one campus, so I would be interested to hear from the collegians (or their advisors, parents, etc) of other campuses too.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Zillini

My advice is don't ever put anything out there you wouldn't want your parents, grandparents, pastor/minister/priest/clergyperson, future employer, future spouse or future kids to see.

I can remember hearing that back from when I was a teenager - the advice is still timely.

[jwsteele]

On the other hand, couldn't a PNM make facebook into a proactive tool during rush? I'm in a fraternity but my sorority friends often mention "facebook stalking" PNMs during rush. I could see it being a beneficial thing if a PNM did the following:
1. Blocked anybody from seeing her tagged pictures
2. Had a pretty and natural picture of herself for her default picture
3. Deleted her wall
4. Filled her interests with conversation starters...ie, travel, volleyball, etc so the actives could get a better sense of what she was like and match her up with sisters who are into the same things
5. Joined "classy" groups relating to her favorite activities, major, etc.
6. Deleted things like "political views"

I could see a PNM doing this strategically...if she knows that somebody in the chapter will be stalking her, why not make put the ball in her court by giving them the things they want to see?

I brought this up in NLH's rush thread, but I figured it might be a good idea to bring it up again.

When Rho Gammas advise PNMs to use caution with Facebook and MySpace, why should it be limited to those sites? They should add GreekChat and CollegeConfidential to the list as well, IMO.

Rush threads are okay, but it's definitely not worth risking your chances of a bid.

[GammaPhi88]

As a recent PNM who sucessfully went through rush (Gamma Phi Beta!!!), a few words of advice on facebook.
1. Don't be afraid to untag.
2. Make it private!
3. If you already have facebook friends who are in sororities, put them in your limited profile, so they can't see your wall, photo albums...whatever you are worried about.
4. Also, don't write "I don't read" under books. I mean, you're in college...the point is to be intellegent.

[FSUZeta]

there has already been a lengthy discussion about facebook on greekchat. doing a search will locate it.

[OmegaPDPrez]

To me, it seems alot of this stuff is common sense. If a PNM actually needs advice on what NOT to put on a public/private/non-existant profile then I think a certain someone should think twice about rush. If you're in college you should know better than to allow yourself to be viewed in anytype of negative way, espcially if you, yourself are posting the evidence.
And if you just so happen to be tagged at that kegg party last thursday, you can always politely untagg, but if you choose to make that picture your profile pick... Reap what you sow.
I am beginning to think that some of these advice threads are becoming more like step by step manuals for PNM rather than 'general advice'

[wildcatfan]

Originally Posted by Kitemom

Here is some good advice about facebook and guidelines you should follow is you are going through rush in the Fall. I know you are getting ready to graduate and there will be parties but don't let people who are now in a soroity see these things about you

Things that you should not have on your facebook profiles/walls/names:
No inappropriate words or phrases on your facebook wall/names/picture descriptions, including but not limited to:
Slut, whore, ass, wasted, drunk, trashed, , shit, damn, bitch, etc. (or any other words that could be used to denote these words…biatch, fing, etc

No Private parts exposed No inappropriate gestures, No bras or thongs showing

Kissing:
No kissing girls on: lips, boobs, butts Boys – No inappropriate touching or grabbing


No ALCOHOL on you Don't be holding:
Party cups (red solo cups), beer cans/bottles, champagne, liquor, wine glasses, margarita glasses, martini glasses, etc.

If you look drunk or people around you do, even if you aren’t, detag or delete the picture Hope this helps you. People and furture employeer do look at these.

". . . don't let people who are now in a sorority see these things about you?" Call me Machiavellian, but I say let her post away on Facebook!!

If this is the language and behavior that a girl is comfortable with, I would prefer that I know it before I write her a glowing rec, and certainly before my house pledges her. Maybe it's just me, but there is something about illegal and immoral behavior that bothers me. I know both underage drinking and behavior that used to qualify as "qm" years ago are common, but I still don't have to like it, condone it, recommend it, or help a PNM hide it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by wildcatfan

". . . don't let people who are now in a sorority see these things about you?" Call me Machiavellian, but I say let her post away on Facebook!!

If this is the language and behavior that a girl is comfortable with, I would prefer that I know it before I write her a glowing rec, and certainly before my house pledges her. Maybe it's just me, but there is something about illegal and immoral behavior that bothers me. I know both underage drinking and behavior that used to qualify as "qm" years ago are common, but I still don't have to like it, condone it, recommend it, or help a PNM hide it.

PNMs have been hiding it for years. They're just a little stupider about having to do it nowadays. If you have never bid a girl who turned out to be the opposite of what she appared from her glowing recs from mom's garden club friends and rush, then I say exalt, because your bullshit detector is better than 99.9999999% of the sorority women on here.

[wildcatfan]

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you have never bid a girl who turned out to be the opposite of what she appared from her glowing recs from mom's garden club friends and rush, then I say exalt, because your bullshit detector is better than 99.9999999% of the sorority women on here.

No, believe me, that's NOT what I'm saying. I just don't want to aid and abet the process.