"Dropping" your girlfriend (with a twist)

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

i think that the rule was made because the founders didn't want to see a split within chapters if a relationship was formed and then broken up. i wouldn't pretend to know for sure though. it makes sense to me but then again, i'm straight, so it really doesn't affect me anyway

Understandable...but in my experience with the couple I previously mentioned, I can't see that happening. We're adults. They have a chaplain to help if something happens, and I think they wouldn't get the rest of the sorority involved.

I see it as discrimination to not allow it, and I'm not really a discriminatory sort of person. Except in recruitment

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Understandable...but in my experience with the couple I previously mentioned, I can't see that happening. We're adults. They have a chaplain to help if something happens, and I think they wouldn't get the rest of the sorority involved.

Are you trying to say that since you been in college NONE of your friends have had ANY drama with each other over a relationship?

Sorority memebers are still college women, and college women cause drama. It hasn't been a problem, yet, but if they BREAK UP - that's where the problems are going to come in...

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Are you trying to say that since you been in college NONE of your friends have had ANY drama with each other over a relationship?

Sorority memebers are still college women, and college women cause drama. It hasn't been a problem, yet, but if they BREAK UP - that's where the problems are going to come in...

No, you're right - but the girls that I KNOW are very aware of the situation they are in, and as they took a risk in coming out both as gay and as in a relationship, I think they were very prepared for what could happen. I don't think that they would allow a breakup to split the chapter, if only because they keep their relationship very discrete and very personal. At chapter events, they hang out together, but you won't see them holding hands or kissing. Many of the sisters had NO idea until they were told, myself included.

I think that their situation will make them act much more maturely IF they break up. But like I said, I am basing this off the ONE couple that I know.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

oohhhh, i didn't think that was allowed! i know in LPsiD, we are open to all women, but we specify that a relationship with another sister is grounds for forced deactivation (of both members). it's just too messy.

For the most part, Greeks are adults and should behave as such. I realize that doesn't always happen though, so if a relationship fizzled out between two members of the same organization, I can imagine it would be pretty tense for a while. But, I gotta say, if Theta Nu Xi ever forced the deactivation of sorors who were in a relationship with other sorors, I might have to rethink my decision to join the organization because it certainly wouldn't be the sorority I thought I was joining when I pledged.

On the overall topic, non-sorors don't wear letters, so I can't imagine it being an issue. However, I would completely understand a "Theta Boo" t-shirt.

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Understandable...but in my experience with the couple I previously mentioned, I can't see that happening. We're adults. They have a chaplain to help if something happens, and I think they wouldn't get the rest of the sorority involved.

I see it as discrimination to not allow it, and I'm not really a discriminatory sort of person. Except in recruitment

When I was advising the collegians, we had major drama when two sisters (in the same chapter -- MINE!) decided to be in a relationship. It was okay for a while, they even lived together...and then they broke up. It was a nightmare because the chapter was divided. Some girls decided that they were "Team E" and the others "Team S". "E" graduated, so the drama went down a little, but "S" remained, and to our horror, started dating "E2". The entire chapter got involved in that whole soap opera.

Thankfully, no drama there. "S" and "E2" both graduated and are still together 3 years later.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Okay, so someone help me out here. Given my feelings about letters, why do I think it's okay for a girl to wear her boyfriend's letters? I hate it when I realize I have double standards.

I think the hang-up is that when it is a female wearing a guy's letters you know she isn't really a member. You can't tell when it is another female.

And I know this might open up the whole double stitched block letter debate, but I don't have a problem with a girlfriend wearing a sorority lavalier or a date party tee-shirt or something, but a block letter shirt is something different. I guess if it is something that might be given to a non-member to wear it would be okay, but a member's only thing (like a block letter sweater) I might have a problem with.

Then again, I didn't really like it when my sisters wore their boyfriends letter sweatshirts around either. I guess it seemed TO ME like they were putting their boyfriends letters above thier own (by wearing someone else's letters).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

Then again, I didn't really like it when my sisters wore their boyfriends letter sweatshirts around either. I guess it seemed TO ME like they were putting their boyfriends letters above thier own (by wearing someone else's letters).

I know exactly what you mean - it always kind of got on my nerves when girls wore their boyfriend's letters ALL THE TIME but only wore their own letters when they HAD to (i.e. rush, Greek week events etc).

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

Then again, I didn't really like it when my sisters wore their boyfriends letter sweatshirts around either. I guess it seemed TO ME like they were putting their boyfriends letters above thier own (by wearing someone else's letters).

Thanks, that put it into perspective for me. I didn't think of it before, but I just realized that even though I was lavaliered in college I personally never wore his letters while other lavaliered girls did. Looking back I think it would have felt strange and wrong somehow. (Although they wouldn't have actually been his letters since he's a Fiji.)

[Ilaria Ame]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

For the most part, Greeks are adults and should behave as such. I realize that doesn't always happen though, so if a relationship fizzled out between two members of the same organization, I can imagine it would be pretty tense for a while. But, I gotta say, if Theta Nu Xi ever forced the deactivation of sorors who were in a relationship with other sorors, I might have to rethink my decision to join the organization because it certainly wouldn't be the sorority I thought I was joining when I pledged.

On the overall topic, non-sorors don't wear letters, so I can't imagine it being an issue. However, I would completely understand a "Theta Boo" t-shirt.

i'm not sure i'm saying the right thing when i say "deactivate". i'm referring to going inactive, but not actually leaving the organization. anyway, i'm pretty sure that as long as members were discreet and mature, this wouldn't REALLY happen, at least not in the group of women i talk to the most, but the rule is there as a backup for bad situations. that's only my speculation, though. i can't really speak for what the founders were thinking when they made it.

[unhappy-active]

I was reading these posts and something kinda funny came to my mind. I am gay but closeted obviously as I am a greek macho. So girls who are dating bros of my frat are allowed to wear smaller letters on shirts and sweatshirts... they arent the same size as an active's letters but they are still my frats name. I have a boyfriend/partner whatever u wanna call it. The other day we were walking in the park and I was wearing my letters and he wasn't wearing a sweater. The night got pretty cold and I offered him to wear my letters but before handing my letters to him I turned them inside out, so he's not technically wearing them. All this because it bothers the hell out of me that people who aren't members of my frat wear the letters.

[RushLeader08]

i dont let anyone else wear my sorority letters but i think you are so unhappy because you are not supposed to be gay. but i do like how you made your sweater inside out so he could be warm. girls would love a guy like you. too bad for us i guess.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by RushLeader08

i think you are so unhappy because you are not supposed to be gay.

Whatever.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by RushLeader08

i think you are so unhappy because you are not supposed to be gay.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Whatever.

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

you guys are cracking me up. if it wasn't for the the ignorance of the original quote I would say you made my day!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by catiebug

PGITY???

hey, he hasnt been around long enough to get an ITY!


i don't have any real opinions on this. lavaliering isn't in my greek culture so it has no relevance to me. but, the liberal side of me says go for it!

question though: doesnt the guy usually lavalier the girl? if that's the case, would a lesbian be able to drop her letters on her girl? and a gay dude on his dude?

anyway, from what i know in GC, dropping letters seems like a big deal, almost like proposing... so id hope that the couple in question, would be taking it just as seriously as a straight couple. i'd expect if they were doing such, then theyd take it seriously.