How much is too much?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by skylark

I picked a middle entree that looked okay, only to have my date pick the more expensive chef's special that I was really salivating over.

"You know, I was thinking about that, and you changed my mind - I'd like to try that too."

Your waiter really won't kill you for changing your mind.

[skylark]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

"You know, I was thinking about that, and you changed my mind - I'd like to try that too."

Your waiter really won't kill you for changing your mind.

Ah yes, it sounds so logical in a vacuum... but in skylark-first-date-mode I think I'd be paranoid that I'd be viewed (by my date, not the waitor) as an unoriginal copycat who doesn't know what she wants. :-)

My goodness, am I glad I'm not still dating. As you can see from above, dating was not exactly a relaxing experience for me a lot of the time. Coincidentally, I shared the following revelation only a week ago with my husband: I knew he was the one because he was the only man I ever dated that I felt comfortable being 100% myself (as opposed to 90% me, 10% what I thought he'd prefer).

[KSUViolet06]

I think that guys should always pay for the first date. I'm usually conscious of what I order though. I try to stick to something moderately priced (i.e. not a $10 nacho plate, but not a $40 steak entree). I also don't really drink alcohol, so I never order any on dates anyway.

As far as this guy is concerned, he can't really be mad at her for ordering it. You need to be conscious of where you're taking her. Don't try to impress a girl by taking her to nice place with wine that will destroy your bank account if she orders it. Keep it real and take her to Maccaroni Grill, TGI Fridays, or some other chain. I'm sure if a girl likes you enough, it won't matter.

[skylark]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Don't try to impress a girl by taking her to nice place with wine that will destroy your bank account if she orders it. Keep it real and take her to Maccaroni Grill, TGI Fridays, or some other chain. I'm sure if a girl likes you enough, it won't matter.

I'd take into account the girl before I did this. I loathe chains and was always a little let down when a date wanted to go there instead of one of the more interesting local-business choices. Local doesn't have to mean expensive, but at least you're up for some diversity. Also, most of the chains I've been to tend to try to turn the table as fast as they can ... bringing your entrees only 5 minutes into appetizers! In contrast, I think local restaurants tend to be more conscious of whether you might be taking your time (several courses and slowly eating) because your meal is very much the event of your evening.

[tld221]

how much is too much on a first date? depends on where he's taking you. if its Applebee's or something like that, a $10 drink is nothing to sneeze at. if he can't wing a $10 drink... then really, i'd make sure my wallet was filled IF we went out again.

whoever does the asking out should take their date to a place they can afford, including tax and tip/gratuity. even if they order the most expensive item(s). but common sense should say to be considerate. i mean share an appetizer and/or dessert if you have to. some chicks may find it cheap, others may think its cute. roll the dice and see.

and if the chick is ordering a glass of wine, you want her to drink the cheap house stuff? at a moderate restaurant, that's at least $6-10 bucks... so umm, yeah. to your friend, let the broad have a drink! it may make the night a little more exciting. but dont let her get slizzered.

[whiteandblack]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I forgot to post this. I just wanna see what everyone else thinks about this. I thought it was funny. lol

When I get together with my study group, sometimes we get away from what we're supposed to be doing, like talking about other topics.

Well, anyway, this guy in my group was complaining about his date he had last night. Apparently he said she ordered too much. I asked him what she ordered and he said she ordered an expensive glass of wine with her food. Of course at this point I was trying hard not to laugh, because he was so serious about it. I didn't see the big deal, but he said she could have at least been a little more conservative in her ordering on the 1st date.

My thoughts on the whole thing was I didn't see what the big deal was. I always at least offer to help pay, but I still think the guy should pay for the 1st date regardless. When you go out with a guy on the 1st date, do you order whatever you want or do you think you should order light since it is the 1st date?

And for the guys, does it really matter to you?

she should dump his cheap ass. on the first date I let him know that I'll pay for myself because even though I'm tiny I gets my grub on and I want to order as many drinks as I want without him looking at me sideways. If he ends up paying it's all good.

[DaemonSeid]

It's really dependent on how the guy feels about the woman and the expectation. Soem people tend to think that if their date goes all out on the first date, that is the bar they are setting and that is going to be the norm. Which is the wrong expectation to give especially if you are a struggling student.

Heck and even if you break it down a dinner/movie date, is going to run you about 100 dollars easily.

Guys should really plan on where they take thier dates on the first one especially if it's a matter of finances. I, too believe if the guy asks the lady out, then first time (first couple of times really) he should foot the bill...but don't go broke doing it!!!

Taking a lady to a high scale restaurant is someting you save until you have been around each other for awhile.

But, at the same time, you should always 1. Go prepared and 2. Expect nothing.

I have known some people to actually try to plan dates around pay weeks and it's nothing wrong with that! LOL

Ladies at the same time it's wise to not go overboard becase, as some have already stated when you start ordering from the *effing* side of the menu, then you may get labeled 'high maintenence'.

Nothing worse than watching someone order an expensive entree just to see if the guy can afford the bill and then she not eat it.

Heh!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

It's really dependent on how the guy feels about the woman and the expectation. Soem people tend to think that if their date goes all out on the first date, that is the bar they are setting and that is going to be the norm. Which is the wrong expectation to give especially if you are a struggling student.

Heck and even if you break it down a dinner/movie date, is going to run you about 100 dollars easily.

Guys should really plan on where they take thier dates on the first one especially if it's a matter of finances. I, too believe if the guy asks the lady out, then first time (first couple of times really) he should foot the bill...but don't go broke doing it!!!

Taking a lady to a high scale restaurant is someting you save until you have been around each other for awhile.

But, at the same time, you should always 1. Go prepared and 2. Expect nothing.

I have known some people to actually try to plan dates around pay weeks and it's nothing wrong with that! LOL

Ladies at the same time it's wise to not go overboard becase, as some have already stated when you start ordering from the *effing* side of the menu, then you may get labeled 'high maintenence'.

Nothing worse than watching someone order an expensive entree just to see if the guy can afford the bill and then she not eat it.

Heh!

I agree with you. I think the man should foot the bill, but at the same time get to know the woman before he takes her anywhere. You can do that over coffee, fast food, or just hanging out in the park. She'll eventually reveal her true colors. As far you saying the ladies shouldn't go overboard, what's overboard? Like in the OP the joker who took ol' girl out, how was she supposed to know what to order? I think she should be able to order whatever she wants to, as long as she plans on hanging out with the dude long term. If she doesn't like him, then she shouldn't expect a free meal from him. In fact I think the date should be cut short. Why waste time? Like I said, if I were him, I would have never taken her anywhere except maybe for coffee or something cheap, because he doesn't know her from adam. Taking her somewhere that's not high class, will also determine if she enjoys his company. If she enjoys his company, then she won't care about not going to a highclass restaurant on the 1st few dates. All I was saying is to me, it sounds like he's going to get used as a cash clown. It also sounds like he's going to continue to take her out and wine and dine her, and get nothing in return.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

As far you saying the ladies shouldn't go overboard, what's overboard? Like in the OP the joker who took ol' girl out, how was she supposed to know what to order? I think she should be able to order whatever she wants to, as long as she plans on hanging out with the dude long term. If she doesn't like him, then she shouldn't expect a free meal from him. In fact I think the date should be cut short. Why waste time? Like I said, if I were him, I would have never taken her anywhere except maybe for coffee or something cheap, because he doesn't know her from adam. Taking her somewhere that's not high class, will also determine if she enjoys his company. If she enjoys his company, then she won't care about not going to a highclass restaurant on the 1st few dates. All I was saying is to me, it sounds like he's going to get used as a cash clown. It also sounds like he's going to continue to take her out and wine and dine her, and get nothing in return.

You are probably living in the "wrong time"... Today, those kinds of things you do is so unappreciated. It's like that movie "Gigi"--you should watch it if you already have not... It's rather pervy by today's standards.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

You are probably living in the "wrong time"...

I am.

[tld221]

yo, PB is so my hero. it takes a special kind of man to call a woman a "low down, lying, sack chasing, gold diggin,' fake cheat."

but i guess it takes a special kind of woman to be all that.

[1908Revelations]

TLD, PB has been know to string together a long put down before. I wish I could remember the thread but he said something in a similar fashion before and I was weak.

BlueNYC was supposed to quote PB and say: Tell em why you mad son!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by tld221

but i guess it takes a special kind of woman to be all that.

And believe me, she was all that.

[PrettyBoy]

And CG tell your study partner he's a dumb joker. Let him know that if he keeps this up, by the time the month of December is over he would have spent his rent on her sorry a$$.

[tld221]

my man PB is REALLY MAD THO! i really wish i could meet this broad cause she did him dirty...

i seriously think all of PB's women rants are one girl who just really did him wrong. like on some inexcusable mess that is to never to be discussed.