Need advice... she's making my life hell!

[IsobelS]

Hey everybody. I have a big question... i need advice and I don't really know who else to ask so I thought I would ask here. Maybe someone else has had a similar situation with someone.

I am an alum in a small local sorority and we have a BIG meeting coming up in three weeks, just before Christmas. Everyone (active, inactive, alum, everybody) has been asked to be there because we're discussing some important stuff. I love my sorority and i love my sisters so much. I really want to go and be supportive but there's this one girl who makes my life completely miserable.

I used to be friends with her but then we had this big falling out because she was hurting me in alot of ways. She would try to make me buy things for her even though I didn't have alot of money, and she would always manipulate me into paying her bills. She tried to keep me from having other friends and she would get mad if i was in class and couldn't hang out with her. Then she started liking a guy who i was in a relationship with so she decided to "get even" by trying to hurt me in even more ways. Anyway I broke off our friendship and tried to get as far away from her as possible, but she is still in the sorority.

Ever since we broke up our friendship she has been out to get me. She is really manipulative and she lies about me behind my back to my other sisters. She also tries to sabotage anything I do including things that affect the sorority in a major way (one time she told me she hated me and would do anything to hurt me even if it hurt the sorority). She somehow pretty much turned a lot of my friends against me! Now it is not that I am an unlikable person or something. I was president of two other organizations during that time (they nominated me, I didn't run) and I was liked by everyone outside the sorority, just this person was trying to turn my sisters against me

But the worst thing about it is that i feel like she is destroying our sorority. She was in a leadership position and made some really bad decisions but somehow no one seemed to notice. (like I said she is really manipulative of other people and she is a control freak) She tried to blame alot of the stuff on me. She is hurting my beloved sorority and I can't stop it!

I have tried everything to make up with her but she flat out refuses even after several years. I can't even talk to other sisters because she has them so brainwashed that some of them don't even know there is a problem. She just says these horrible things behind my back like she will go to someone and say, "Isobel is usually so nice, but it really makes me sad when she talks about how fat you are behind your back. She is always making fun of you. I wish she wouldn't say those things" even though I never said it, she is just trying to make everyone hate me by preying on their insecurities!!!

So now i don't know what to do. Should I go to the meeting because I love the sorority and my sisters or should I just try to avoid it and not look back? The only reason I would not go is because of this person. She makes me really miserable and I feel like I am going to have an anxiety attack when I think about being in the same room with her.

My husband and mom said not to go. They said, "you have graduated now, you should not have to worry about her or anything that has to do with her." But like I said I really love the sorority and my sisters so much that it hurts me to feel like I am abandoning them when they need me.

Should I suck it up and go, but sacrifice my mental health and happiness for the sorority, even though alot of them don't treat me right because of this person? Or is it time to just let go, give up, and move on... not looking back? It's like that saying being "stuck between a rock and a hard place".

Thanks everybody.

- Isobel