Parent Troubles...

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by mscongeniality1

If you've read this far, congratulations! Haha...I feel like I've written a book, but it's been a crazy emotional roller coaster. Last night I had a complete breakdown while hanging out with some friends, so one of my best friends took me off to the side and we actually wrote out a pro/con list about joining a sorority. (FYI, there were many, many more pros ) Plus, I just get a happy feeling when I reread my bid card (which I have done like a million times!). I've dragged it out long enough so I'll just tell you all: I'm an ALPHA GAMMA DELTA! Yay!

Welcome Baby Squirrel. We are so proud to have you as a pledge!

[AOII Angel]

Congratulations to the new AGD! And, Happy Birthday!

[AnatraAmore]

Awww... congrats and Happy Birthday to our newest GC Alpha Gamma Delta!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by mscongeniality1

Okay, here is an update/a little more information:

I've dragged it out long enough so I'll just tell you all: I'm an ALPHA GAMMA DELTA! Yay! (Oh, and I forgot to mention...my 19th birthday was on Thursday...talk about a sweet birthday present!)

Welcome!! Come on over to the Alpha Gam forum and introduce yourself!

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by mscongeniality1

I'm an ALPHA GAMMA DELTA! Yay! (Oh, and I forgot to mention...my 19th birthday was on Thursday...talk about a sweet birthday present!)

Yay!! Congratulations and welcome to a lifetime of sisterhood! And Happy Birthday!!!!!

[mscongeniality1]

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement! I'm really excited for Bid Night tomorrow. I've been searching for a black dress (since I wasn't expecting an occasion to dress up, I didn't bring anything fancier than a sundress!), which has been pretty crazy but it makes me realize how generous people are on my floor! I just...ah! I'm excited! Words cannot describe it...

[xoheatherxo]

bid day is soooo exciting!!! makes me kinda miss mine even though i could tell you minute for minute what happened and it was about 6 years ago!! have a lot of fun and enjoy your new member period and enjoy yourself when you become an active!!! AGD is lucky to have you!

[skylark]

Something to keep in mind: part of recruitment is (re)education on what greek life can be, and your parents didn't go through any of that. Often, it can take a while to bring family up to speed on what it is all about. In time, even if they haven't been turned around 100%, they will at least see that it is important to you and is not going to change who you are or your values.

[mscongeniality1]

So...I just got back from my bid night...and I don't know, I had a good time, but I felt a little let down, I guess. It was sad because both of my pledge moms couldn't make it, so I felt slightly lonely...and then after all the "hoo-hah" was over, a girl who joined by COB a couple years ago came and told us COBers that it was kind of difficult to just jump right in and get caught up with all the other girls. It kind of worried me because I'm not an extrovert by nature...

I definitely don't want to just give up, you know? I WILL give this a try...

[SWTXBelle]

Hang in there - how often do instantly bond with anyone? The more time you spend with your sisters, the more at home you will feel - just be yourself, spend as much time as you can with them, and enjoy your new member period!

[Benzgirl]

I agree. Hang in there. My Sister Mother was a senior, who didn't live in the house, worked evenings and was engaged. Honestly, I barely saw her during my pledge period.

But....we had a lot of pledge activities where I bonded with my pledge class. As time went on, I met many actives who I became very close, and ended up living with.

I'm not sure how much "time you need to make up", but it will all be behind you soon. Make coffee dates with different sisters for different reasons (one could be to "catch up on what you missed". Don't wait around on them to get you involved. If they see you creating excitement, they will include you in their activities.

[mscongeniality1]

On Monday I received the financial info...and the new member fees are TWICE what I expected them to be (I had checked out the university Panhel website, which lists all the estimates for fees for each sorority). Apparently they didn't include next semester's dues in with the estimate, so, needless to say, I felt pretty misled. I don't really blame anyone necessarily, I just feel like I was kept in the dark.

After tearfully calling my mom and telling her there was no way I could afford it (the fees would literally empty my savings account), I stopped freaking out, got smart and emailed the financial advisor for AGD, who's setting up a meeting with for next week sometime.

If anyone has any ideas about scholarships and such (I don't know if sororities give scholarships for fees, but I figure I'd better pull out all the stops and find out), PLEASE let me know! I am NOT gonna give up without a fight! (Can you tell I'm feeling a little bit more confident about this whole thing? Haha...)

Originally Posted by mscongeniality1

If anyone has any ideas about scholarships and such (I don't know if sororities give scholarships for fees, but I figure I'd better pull out all the stops and find out), PLEASE let me know! I am NOT gonna give up without a fight! (Can you tell I'm feeling a little bit more confident about this whole thing? Haha...)

Don't limit yourself to sorority-related scholarships. Check to see if there are local foundations in your community that offer college scholarships.

When I was in school, I applied for and received scholarships from both my parents' unions, the Jaycees, and 2 local based community foundations. I went to a state school where in-state tuition wasn't so bad, so once tuition and books were taken care of, I had extra $$$ to take care of other financial obligations -- car/insurance, sorority, credit cards, etc.

[PsychTau2]

Originally Posted by mscongeniality1

On Monday I received the financial info...and the new member fees are TWICE what I expected them to be (I had checked out the university Panhel website, which lists all the estimates for fees for each sorority). Apparently they didn't include next semester's dues in with the estimate, so, needless to say, I felt pretty misled. I don't really blame anyone necessarily, I just feel like I was kept in the dark.

First of all, congratulations on AGD!

Secondly, it sounds like the fees they told you about include this semester and next semester dues. Correct? If so, don't forget to ask the Financial Advisor these questions: when do you have to pay them by? Are they all due at once? Is there some sort of payment plan?

Good luck and keep thinking creatively to figure this out I'm sure you can!

PsychTau

[Thetamomtoo]

After reading through this thread, it seems a lot of the issues causing bad feelings on the part of both the new member, as well as her parents, stemmed from unwelcome surprises. Speaking as a mom, I REALLY appreciate it when my kids don't spring things on me that have been brewing for some time. It's nice to ease into ideas, and not have something hit you from out of the blue. I respect my daughters and their thought processes, and like seeing the steps they take to get to their final decisions. I don't always agree, and sometimes I can't hold my tongue, but I try to let them make their own choices. If you point out to your parents that most sororities have a higher GPA than the campus average, study hours, and opportunities for leadership that can really shine on a future resume, they will probably come around. Let it all sink in. In the future, fill them in on what you are thinking along the way, instead of after the decision has essentially been made.

As for the money, can you work over the winter break between semesters? It may not seem like much, but if you apply soon for holiday employment either around your school or in your hometown, you'd be surprised how much you can make. Just don't let your grades suffer.

Best of luck!