2007 UGA Recruitment

[MVisKD]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'll never for the life of me understand why the Panhellenics at schools like LSU, UGA, and Bama continue to tell PNMs (and their parents) that "recs aren't neccessary" or that "the sororities are responsible for securing a rec for you."

To try and give the PNMs some insight, I made this post in the Recommendation Caution to PNMs thread about recs at competitive schools:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...8&postcount=95

I went to one of the schools mentioned and my chapter would release girls without recs after philanthropy day, unless we were so interested in her that we could secure her a rec from a local alum. However, some chapters are not like that and recs are not necessary....So I think that Panhellenic is just trying to encourage everyone to participate, whether they have "ties" to certain houses or not. Alumni in my hometown actually have a meeting for all PNMs to attend in the spring before they leave for school that tells them all they need to know about recs/attire, etc. Maybe this is something we all need to have in our respective cities so more young ladies know exactly what to expect and what is expected of them. I know there are lots of girls in my city that could benefit from this service!

[ugadg]

She should really try to relax and try to enjoy the parties she is going to. It can be brutal getting cut, but you cannot suicide until after the pref parties and to already be thinking about it (they are in round 3 today?) while attending parties is really hurting her chances of a great experience.

Please try to at least encourage her to continue with an open mind. After two rounds she has only been at these houses for about 40 minutes, not even hour! Yes, she may be pretty sure some are not for her (and she could be right), but some of these may be and she just hasn't clicked with the right group.

[Army Wife'79]

Ahh, but think of the poor out of state folks (like we were) who flew down to visit the SEC school, were told that it is the sororities resp. to get a rec for you if they want you; then at the freshman camp, ask Panhel. the same question and get the same boldface lie answer; and furthermore ask the ditzy sales clerk at the school bookstore when you're buying your kid her first school t-shirt who was greek (note to self: if someone graduated 2 years ago and is now selling t-shirts at the school bookstore b/c she loved the college town so much she didn't want to move, she is not a good resource) but with her Crest whitened smile she bubbled out "oh no, don't worry, it's the sororities resp. to get you the rec." I don't know, maybe it's code for "don't let the Yankees know the scoop". And, keep in mind, the website for Greek Chat is not on any literature so we didn't know it existed.

I actually did go to the college website to search the message boards for info on sorority life and posted a query only to get a bunch of horrible x-rated comments about the Greek girls.

So, in our case she was darn lucky to go to 3 prefs. The "know it alls" talked her into suiciding and therefore she got no bid. She was COB'd later on but geez, as a Mom I'd hate to have to go thru this again.

[howtheSunrose]

Originally Posted by clueless also

I live in the Atlanta area, and Sunday morning there was an article on UGA's rush mentioning specially ordered designer clothes and stacks of recs - my daughter isn't like that at all! She's very down to earth, quiet and unpretentious, but a great sense of humor, wonderful personality, and the best, most loyal friend anyone could hope to have (OK, maybe I'm a little biased!) Despite the article, we thought she would at least find one house where there were similar girls who would be interested in her for herself. Today she called to let me know she only got 2 invites back, and one was to my sorority, which has a policy to invite all legacies back to one party. Still, she was very upbeat, not taking it too seriously, just having a good time. Well, tonight an officer from my sorority called me to break the news that she's being released. I'm so sad. I doubt she'll be invited back to the other one either, because, like I said, she's somewhat quiet and reserved. I know she'll be OK, she has the ability to see the bright side of things much more so than me. I just can't stand to think of what the rejection will feel like away from home not knowing many people, and then when the other girls get their bids...I had so wanted to share the great experience I had in college with her, she has brothers but always wanted a sister...Sorry this is such a long,sad post, but I needed to vent, Hubby wasn't greek and thinks the whole thing is BS.

I'm sorry about your daughter's release from your sorority. From what you've said, she sounds like a LOVELY girl that any sorority would lucky to have. And you sound like a loving, caring mother. With your daughter's personality, I can see her being well liked in college life and being quite an assest to any organization with which she chooses to become involved (Greek or non-Greek).

[hollywin]

My daughter went through rush this week and eventually dropped out. I too got the dreaded late night phone call from my sorority that they had released my daughter. The thing that was very disheartening was that my daughter was a 4 time legacy at this house with 3 of them being from the UGA chapter. I think my parents paid for half the house in 4 years of dues for 3 girl's !! She had recs at many houses. What I think happened was that we are from out of state and she did not really know anyone in a sorority. My daughter is a pretty, intelligent and loving girl. I am not sure how she could have done better when she only spent a total of 30 minutes at each house. I also believe that the houses where she had recs saw that she was a quadruple XYZ legacy and cut her because they assumed she would pledge XYZ. It has been the hardest thing for her. I am not sure of any other situation where 18 year old girls are rejected by so many groups of girls. She did put in for open bid and I am praying she will get one.

[GPhiBLtColonel]

I went up to Athens to help with prefs at my Gamma Phi Beta chapter and was shocked to discover that each pref party had 70-75 girls attending!
I figure quota may be in the high 60's!
On a personal note, I was thrilled to find out that at least 4 of the 14 girls I wrote recs for preffed Gamma Phi! yay!

[Titchou]

Quota is 55....

[UGAMOM01]

Originally Posted by hollywin

My daughter went through rush this week and eventually dropped out. I too got the dreaded late night phone call from my sorority that they had released my daughter. The thing that was very disheartening was that my daughter was a 4 time legacy at this house with 3 of them being from the UGA chapter. I think my parents paid for half the house in 4 years of dues for 3 girl's !! She had recs at many houses. What I think happened was that we are from out of state and she did not really know anyone in a sorority. My daughter is a pretty, intelligent and loving girl. I am not sure how she could have done better when she only spent a total of 30 minutes at each house. I also believe that the houses where she had recs saw that she was a quadruple XYZ legacy and cut her because they assumed she would pledge XYZ. It has been the hardest thing for her. I am not sure of any other situation where 18 year old girls are rejected by so many groups of girls. She did put in for open bid and I am praying she will get one.

I am saddened to read your post; my daughter's roommate has gone through a similar experience. This young lady, like your D is thoughtful, intelligent and gives of herself. She would be a great asset to any sorority. She withdrew her name on Friday and is hoping for open bid or snap (not sure of the correct terminology).

But the point is, this young ladies' self confidence was blown out of the water this week. She felt her self worth had been shredded. Thankfully, she is grounded and has a strong sense of who she will come out of this week with a renewed sense of confidence.

As Momma's we never want our girls to go through this kind of rejection. It doesn't help either that they are about to start classes. This girls are blessed to have wonderful parents like those on this post.

[clueless also]

Originally Posted by hollywin

My daughter went through rush this week and eventually dropped out. I too got the dreaded late night phone call from my sorority that they had released my daughter. The thing that was very disheartening was that my daughter was a 4 time legacy at this house with 3 of them being from the UGA chapter. I think my parents paid for half the house in 4 years of dues for 3 girl's !! She had recs at many houses. What I think happened was that we are from out of state and she did not really know anyone in a sorority. My daughter is a pretty, intelligent and loving girl. I am not sure how she could have done better when she only spent a total of 30 minutes at each house. I also believe that the houses where she had recs saw that she was a quadruple XYZ legacy and cut her because they assumed she would pledge XYZ. It has been the hardest thing for her. I am not sure of any other situation where 18 year old girls are rejected by so many groups of girls. She did put in for open bid and I am praying she will get one.

I hadn't thought of the possibility of other houses seeing that she was a legacy. In my daughter's case, that, combined with the fact that we've only lived in GA a short time and she didn't know anyone in any houses, and were never told that recs were needed, caused her to be cut early from most houses, when, like your daughter, she is sweet, smart and attractive, and if she'd had a chance to get to know them things would be different. She's OK about everything, so she says, but I know it will be hard when her roommate and the other girls she's become close to over the past week get their bids. I wonder if the Rho Chi's will follow up with which groups might have COB or a later informal rush. I know she would not consider doing this again next fall.

[AnchorAlumna]

She could still be offered a snap bid.

[minDyG]

Originally Posted by clueless also

As an alumni at one if UGA's sororities (from another school), I didn't realize how drastically things had changed in 25 years. We were never told that recs were so important, quite the contrary! Otherwise I could have had several friends write on my daughter's behalf, even though they hadn't seen her since she was 5 or 6. We assumed (wrongly I now realize), that it was all about personalities that clicked and common interests. I live in the Atlanta area, and Sunday morning there was an article on UGA's rush mentioning specially ordered designer clothes and stacks of recs - my daughter isn't like that at all! She's very down to earth, quiet and unpretentious, but a great sense of humor, wonderful personality, and the best, most loyal friend anyone could hope to have (OK, maybe I'm a little biased!) Despite the article, we thought she would at least find one house where there were similar girls who would be interested in her for herself. Today she called to let me know she only got 2 invites back, and one was to my sorority, which has a policy to invite all legacies back to one party. Still, she was very upbeat, not taking it too seriously, just having a good time. Well, tonight an officer from my sorority called me to break the news that she's being released. I'm so sad. I doubt she'll be invited back to the other one either, because, like I said, she's somewhat quiet and reserved. I know she'll be OK, she has the ability to see the bright side of things much more so than me. I just can't stand to think of what the rejection will feel like away from home not knowing many people, and then when the other girls get their bids...I had so wanted to share the great experience I had in college with her, she has brothers but always wanted a sister...Sorry this is such a long,sad post, but I needed to vent, Hubby wasn't greek and thinks the whole thing is BS.

Let your daughter know that there may very well be opportunities for COB and that she can always go through spring recruitment as well if she is still interested in being a part of Greek Life. As has been said in this forum many times before, sometimes girls just slip through the cracks but that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't sorority-worthy! Sometimes it just takes a second try.

[Katmandu]

Clueless Also, I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's release. Give her a big hug--it sounds as if she is level-headed and has a great attitude, but still, it hurts and is a difficult start to the college experience. Hoping the best for her as she discovers everything else that college offers.

I began reading this board because I am joining a chapter advisory board in the fall, and felt like a Greek dinosaur since I rushed when Richard Nixon was president. I, too, was clueless about how much things had changed.

It is amazing that some of the WORST advice and information about dress codes, need for recs, the dynamics of a competitive rush (not really mutual selection for most rushees), legacy issues, etc. comes from the "official" sources of the Greek Offices, Greek Advisors, and School Orientation programs. If girls and parents don't already have Greek connections, and rely on the "official" information, (which logically they would), they can be placed at a distinct disadvantage. Very frustrating, and not healthy for the greek system, as it perpetuates the image of a closed universe (ie if you "have to ask", you "don't belong").

All the best to your daughter.

[Katmandu]

UGADad,
I meant to ask, any updates? Did you get any sleep last night?

Here's hoping for a great day with a little shade for those poor girls!

[NUBlue&Blue]

I think we've discussed this conflicting information before--wasn't the conclusion that perhaps they have to say "recommendations aren't necessary" because that's what they are supposed to say (per NPC? I don't know).

We could put a giant sticky on here that says for SEC recruitment, you must have recs, you must have recs, you must have recs....but unfortunately, most people stumble on this site after things have gone south and at that point it's much too late.

I handed out info about the Atlanta Panhellenic info session to all my daughter's friends' mothers and only one took me up on it and went to the session. They broke the girls up into groups for their prospective schools, but we left so I don't know what the girls were told in those sessions. During the large group session, I wanted to scream when they answered one mother's question "panhellenically" rather than with what most of us with experience know is the truth.....NO, it is NOT better to wait until you get used to school and rush as a sophomore at Alabama! In the craziness that is SEC rush, you need every advantage, and being a sophomore is not an advantage. I really don't know how this can be improved until we can tell the truth without sounding like harpies, gossip mongers or scaring every girl out of even attempting recruitment, but somehow it needs to happen.

I really didn't have a lot of perspective on the numbers until Sunday night when my daughter was corresponding with one of her friends at UGA. They have to cut 1,000 girls for the next day--that's why open house is done at noon. Those girls have to go to work, fight for the hometown girl, try to remember who they met, etc. Then in the next three days, they somehow have to whittle it down to a pledge class. Deserving, smart, nice and wonderful girls are going to get cut and that's just the reality of working with those kinds of numbers.

Last year when so many sweet girls from our HS were disappointed, I wondered what the heck they were looking for in sisters at UGA, too. It's a tough situation, and it seems like a heartless process, but we have to remember it's tough on both sides...and we're talking about 18, 19 and 20 year old girls having to make these kinds of decisions under extreme pressure.

It's no consolation when it's your daughter in pain, but it really isn't personal in most cases, sometimes it's just the luck of the draw on who you talk to when you walk in the door.

[cluelessUGAmom]

Still no recs but she was invited back to 4 today. She was cut from one that she really liked and was surpised she was cut based on the conversations she had there. This one happens to be one she could have had several recs for too. But she is fine.

Of the 4 remaining she has an open mind but 2 were also in her top 3 so hopefully the "no recs" won't hurt her today.

She is so tired that my concern is her true personality may be wilted from exhaustion and heat - but then again everyone is going through that!

I can't express enough how much I ache over the right thing to do regarding these recs this late in the game!