What to do if you spot a random guy wearing your letters?

[nwu43]

Originally Posted by macallan25

The last time I was "too stunned to think straight" I saw a person get hit by a car.

It's a T-shirt, chill out.

Maybe that wasn't the best way to put it. They were "stunned and couldn't think straight". How about that?

They were stunned because they never expected to see a non-lambda wearing their letters, and they couldn't think straight because noone ever told them (or us) what to do in such a situation.

However, it's kind of unfair to say it's just a "T-shirt". What the letters mean to different organizations is different.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by nwu43

However, it's kind of unfair to say it's just a "T-shirt". Some organizations are more strict about this type of stuff than others.

You are absolutely right about this, and I think that's why it's going to be hard to get advice from NPC and IFCers about this issue.

I don't think anyone wants to see someone representing their organization poorly, as a random drug-abusing homeless guy wearing the lettered shirt he got from a charity might.*

But since as far as I know, most NPC and IFC groups are not that protective about who wears their letters informally, like on date night shirts or philanthropy events, we're not going to be as outraged if we suspect that a non-member is wearing our letters generally.

*To tell you the truth if I saw it, I think I'd think "how nice of that XYZ to give away his old clothes to charity."

Something else worth considering is that people may think they have founded a new local with those letters, and not realize yet the letter belong to a national organization.

[nwu43]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

You are absolutely right about this, and I think that's why it's going to be hard to get advice from NPC and IFCers about this issue.

I don't think anyone wants to see someone representing their organization poorly, as a random drug-abusing homeless guy wearing the lettered shirt he got from a charity might.*

But since as far as I know, most NPC and IFC groups are not that protective about who wears their letters informally, like on date night shirts or philanthropy events, we're not going to be as outraged if we suspect that a non-member is wearing our letters generally.

Exactly, I'm glad you understand

And it's not like the letters mean more to us or anything, just that the physical letters are not meant to ever get put on by non-members or even touch the floor. Just a symbolic thing.

There's often a concern that you may not be viewed as a "good lambda" if you don't treat the physical letters with enough respect, and thus even though lambda houses tend to be extremely dirty and disgusting, with beer bottles, random shoes and socks and chips lying all over the ground, you'll never see anything with letters on the ground (though you'll probably see them messily piled up on sofas or chairs or sometimes any object sufficiently clean as long as it's higher than the floor ).

The same goes with dealing with non-lambdas wearing letters, and some bros may be worried that if they don't act or are too passive they'll be met with some disapproval and lose face. We're more often concerned about how to handle depledges and possible haters who wear letters or flash our signs to spite us... that's why we had no idea how to deal with random strangers. Honestly, we didn't even know if we should consider it a big deal or not because we just never thought about it before!

So understandably, those guys were at a loss of what to do (especially since many of them were proud idealistic neos with the pledging experience fresh in their minds)

*To tell you the truth if I saw it, I think I'd think "how nice of that XYZ to give away his old clothes to charity."

Something else worth considering is that people may think they have founded a new local with those letters, and not realize yet the letter belong to a national organization.

Haha, I never thought about it that way.

[Senusret I]

If you can't offer them a plain replacement t-shirt, there's nothing you can do as a gentleman.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by nwu43

And it's not like the letters mean more to us or anything, just that the physical letters are not meant to ever get put on by non-members or even touch the floor. Just a symbolic thing.

Most GLOs have similar rules about non-members wearing letters -- or at least about members allowing non-members to wear letters.

I guess what troubles me is the idea that we may be elevating form over substance if we make any kind of deal out of it when see someone clearly not a member but also clearly down on their luck wearing our letters.

The question I would have to ask myself (and I'm only speaking for myself, not ragging on anyone else) is this: If I make a deal out of the female janitor wearing "my" letters, am I living by the values and principles that those letters stand for? I obviously can't answer for anyone else and I'm not trying to, but I think I would have to say that if I did anything other than walk on, I would be disrespecting my letters much more than she is, because I know what they stand for.

[AOxcutiexPI]

we've actually had people from a halfway house wear our letters because they found them in the trash. one way to stop it is make sure no one throws away anything with letters on it. either burn them or rip them up. because i dont think you want to be confrontational you don't know how people will react to you questioning them wearing it.

[SnuKnight172]

There was a homeless guy who was hanging out around our campus and he was wearing our letters. When we saw this we actually went to the bookstore and bought him a brand new school sweetshirt/hoodie and asked that he give us our letters. We had him stuff them in a bag and then we disposed of them (I think we actually just threw them away). But the guy got a brand new sweetshirt/hoodie. The last time I saw him he had the hoodie tied around his waist.

[SnuKnight172]

Sigma Nu has rules that member have to follow. Only the following people can be given letters by a brother and how they fit me personally:

Fiance (was a sweetheart of Sigma Nu before we were engaged so she could already wear letters)
Wife (see Fiance)
Mother (she has a hoodie that I bought her a few months after I was initiated. She understands how much Sigma Nu means to me so she treats them as if they were her own.)
Sister (She attends the school I graduated from. In my chapter it is an unwritten rule that no other bros can give a sister letters other than her blood brother. When she started school I asked her if she wanted a set to wear and she refused by saying "why would I want your letters? I want to earn my own." She became a member of Alpha Phi and the thought of me giving her letters now is moot... Sometimes when we are out she wears mine when she is cold)
Grandmother (I never even thought about giving either grandmother her letters I don't think they would understand the significance.)

Here is a question: Do any of the other guys here carry a non letter sweetshirt in their car so that if a date or another lady is cold you have a sweetshirt for her other than your letter?

[nwu43]

Originally Posted by SnuKnight172

Sigma Nu has rules that member have to follow. Only the following people can be given letters by a brother and how they fit me personally:

Fiance (was a sweetheart of Sigma Nu before we were engaged so she could already wear letters)
Wife (see Fiance)
Mother (she has a hoodie that I bought her a few months after I was initiated. She understands how much Sigma Nu means to me so she treats them as if they were her own.)
Sister (She attends the school I graduated from. In my chapter it is an unwritten rule that no other bros can give a sister letters other than her blood brother. When she started school I asked her if she wanted a set to wear and she refused by saying "why would I want your letters? I want to earn my own." She became a member of Alpha Phi and the thought of me giving her letters now is moot... Sometimes when we are out she wears mine when she is cold)
Grandmother (I never even thought about giving either grandmother her letters I don't think they would understand the significance.)

Here is a question: Do any of the other guys here carry a non letter sweetshirt in their car so that if a date or another lady is cold you have a sweetshirt for her other than your letter?

That would certainly be a good idea.

I was in a very awkward situation two years ago when I left a party with a girl. We had to wait for a ride and it was cold outside. She wasn't wearing that much, and I had my linejacket on.

The gentlemanly thing to do would be to put my jacket on her but that's basically like letting her wear my letters, which is pretty bad (it's like putting a girl above my letters or something like that). Outside, there were bros EVERYWHERE, and I knew that if they saw me do that they would never stop giving me shit about it. At the same time... I really *REALLY* liked this girl, and what would she think? She'd probably think I'm a total jerk and never want to have anything to do with me

I just kept thinking to myself, man what the **** am I gonna do??!?!

[moe.ron]

just let it go. if you decided to do something about it and it escalate, imagine the negative thing that could happen to your fraternity or your chapter. bad publicity, lawsuits, etc. this is where risk mgt come into effect. is it worth it to do something about it or is it more safe to just let it go?

[KyleMcGuire1983]

The best way to handle a situation like that is to initiate your call-response or fraternity grip....

it would throw them for a loop and might embarass them...

we had some schmuck show up all ghetto wannabe Jamie Kennedy looking telling us he was a UC Berkeley brother. Go to the Berkeley chapter...and while not IMPOSSIBLE, it's pretty unlikely he was affiliated there.

So I said "oh that's great, glad you're visiting." He failed all three tests I gave so I finally said "Okay what's your badge number" he answers "uhh 254" I said "oh that makes you about 100 years old since the chapter there started in 1892...." booted his ass out.

The moral of the story: check first, get miffed later. Just because he doesn't *look* Alpha Beta Gamma doesn't mean he's not Alpha Beta Gamma....we got bros from all over the country who all dress different, speak different slang, are different colors, etc etc. and the only way you're truly know is by checking....

[CuriousWildcat]

Originally Posted by macallan25

The last time I was "too stunned to think straight" I saw a person get hit by a car.

It's a T-shirt, chill out.

Quite possibly the funniest and most appropriate quote ever.

[Morpheus_LFE]

Seems like a question to be brought up at the next JA. Haha.

And on another note, Hooters, you shoulda came out to Summerfest like some of the bros from your chapter. It was mad live.

[nwu43]

Originally Posted by CuriousWildcat

Quite possibly the funniest and most appropriate quote ever.

Well.. as alphagamalum said, this isn't something I should have expected everyone to understand.

Besides, I think I would have been clearer about what to do if I saw someone get hit by a car.

And on another note, Hooters, you shoulda came out to Summerfest like some of the bros from your chapter. It was mad live.

I know! I've been MIA for awhile, but I'll definitely be comin out to everything this year. Hope to see you at convention

[nwu43]

wow morpheus, you're number 43 too! Best number hehe

You've reached a pretty high number already considering how new your chapter is. I'm assuming you guys must have a really good reputation on campus and have very successful rush (how large are your classes on average?)