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04-22-2007, 01:22 PM
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Quote:
Apparently, this has happened in the past for many other chapters on my campus.
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"More like many other chapters around the country"
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04-22-2007, 04:13 PM
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Location: Up in the boondocks or the snow belt
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SWTXBelle
Ooooo . . .she actually sounds more like the local alumna who messed everything up for our advising chapter. Hmmm . . . I suppose drugging her and sticking her in a closet next time she comes in and starts doing what she pleases would not be allowed. Tazering? My brother has always said we need "Toddler Tazer"!! - maybe "annoying alumna Tazer!"
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hahaha
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The above opinion does not necessarily represent that of Kappa Delta Sorority
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04-23-2007, 11:58 AM
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Honestly, I am really just happy that this isn't happening at my chapter!
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Zeta Tau Alpha
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04-23-2007, 09:34 PM
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Alums are important to say the least! They can do a lot of good.
But, with that said, there are committees that thay can join and be of help for and with the Chapter.
If they do not care to be, then it may be suggestable for some older Alums to whisper some kind words in their ear.
If they were from the Local, why were they not Inititiated into the National?
Maybe that is a problem?
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04-26-2007, 12:33 PM
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Location: cambrdige, MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SWTXBelle
Ooooo . . .she actually sounds more like the local alumna who messed everything up for our advising chapter. Hmmm . . . I suppose drugging her and sticking her in a closet next time she comes in and starts doing what she pleases would not be allowed. Tazering? My brother has always said we need "Toddler Tazer"!! - maybe "annoying alumna Tazer!"
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5-6 doses of Benedryl in her coffee?
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05-24-2007, 12:34 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Norfolk, VA
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Quote:
How do you handle alumnae who are putting their negative $.02 in or who are telling new members the gossip of the chapter?
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I faced this situation a while back at our biggest alumni event yet. My chapter organized a 180 person alumni reception on the skybox level of ODU's basketball arena on our annual rivalry game against VCU. We had 4 of the 5 founding members of the chapter there, and alumni from over 4 decades of our fraternity.
Some of our candidates pledged Sigma Nu with the expressed interest of avoiding a fraternity with an "Animal House" mentality... and then they met some of our 1990's alums.
One of these "gentlemen" (and I use the term loosely) was recalling how he used to date the cheerleader that wore the school's mascot suit, and how he had sex with her at a party with the mascot head on, took polaroid photos, and passed them around the party shortly after it happened. He also told tales of parties where furniture was thrown from the roof, freshmen were used as "beer wenches", there were streaking races around the house where the loser had to drink beer out of his shoe, etc. Really crazy, raunchy stuff that made some of our pledges look at our alumni with disgust, and then at some of the active members that they hadn't met yet with a more cautious attitude.
Here's how I explained to our PNMs that we aren't all like "Yankee": I explained that the 1990's generation of our fraternity nearly got expelled from school due to recruiting some really questionable folks and getting into some bad situations with parties and grades, and that for years after them, we weren't allowed to recruit so that the chapter could come back with a fresh start... without them.
Remind your members that just because someone is alumni, it doesn't mean they have all the answers. They are your brother/sister, just older. If the alumni in question is destabilizing your chapter, or endangering it, take them aside and explain to them what they're doing wrong, or suggest a new area they can help in that would put them in less of a position to meddle in chapter affairs .
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05-24-2007, 02:03 AM
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I am JUST guessing here, but am betting they are recent alum? Get an alum that they know but that is significantly older to talk to them. Haven't seen that happen to us but I can see how easy it would be for it to. And there are some things that new members don't need to know. Not because they are kids or because they are stupid, but because if they find out about something negative that happened prior to their involvement they might let that keep them from giving their new organization a truly open minded chance and it makes them more of a drop risk. If it's something that will effect them directly, that's one thing. Gossip is another.
I think advisors tend to try to run things because they think they know best and, honestly, they most likely do on many matters (especially on business matters and such...I think membership is the only thing they might not be so knowledgable about as usually an advisor isn't around enough to truly know the woman or women involved and the situation, so the collegians who have been should be doing all the deciding). But it's true they should remember that the chapter belongs to the collegians and not to them. They can advise...but shouldn't expect the collegians to make the same choices they would every single time. On the other hand, collegians need to remember that they have the right to (respectfully) stand up to a renegade advisor. I imagine if the issue is brought up in a mature and respectful manner it might stop. It's possible the advisor didn't even realize what he or she was doing. ..they might have thought that their advice wasn't pushy at all while the collegians might resent it, and a nice conversation could solve the misunderstanding. And if not, action can be brought to replace the advisor.
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05-24-2007, 02:52 PM
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After a few incidents, it was determined and communicated to the alumnae, particularly the newly graduated alumnae, that chapter business and goings-on were for active collegiate members only. Alumnae were not to show up at chapter meeting, recruitment, or socials without an invitation or reason. Their presence at one point had become disruptive, so now it is understood that once you graduate, you are a welcome guest at university events, collegiate-alumnae mixers, etc., but otherwise wait to be invited before showing up at Round 1 of recruitment to "help." It was taken one step further-- you had to be a member of an alumnae association to take part in volunteering with the chapter, too.
Some people might find these rules to be a bit stern, but when your active chapter makeup is between 150-200 members, a handful of young alumnae can be just as disruptive as to a chapter of 20-50 women.
As far as advisers who might be on a power trip, these people tend to weed themselves out. And if they are really that bad, the chapter should keep a list of their complaints and discuss the matter first with the adviser, and then move on up the food chain if the problems persist.
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05-24-2007, 03:35 PM
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LOL, for Actives, Alums can sometimes be a real pain in the rear and a hinderance.
Being the Oldest Alumni of my Chapter, I have seen over the years many who have done a lot and those who dip to the dark side.
Alumni can be some of the biggest asset for a Chapter or a bigger hinderance.
The Active has responsibility to run the daily opperation of the Chapter. The Alumni are there to advise in the many committes we have set up.
HC if one is needed, Advisory Board, working with the Chapter from Brothers close at hand, and the Alumni Association.
I have seen many Chapters from not only mine but others who do the same thing.
The total picture is both work together for one thing and one thing only, the chapter.
Ah ufphoia, the eden of the world!
How about some ego maniac who as HC or Alumni President who knows better and will not work with the chapter! Call, Moron alert!
Get in and work or get the hell out of the way! 
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09-18-2007, 07:10 PM
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Not sure if my case is along the same line but here goes: I am an advisor of a chapter where we have alum that were not good members when they were active (ie left the chapter with no explanation during school year, were not in good financial standing, etc) and have graduated prior to any disciplinary action from head office (I know, that's another story).
The chapter is trying to reach out to alum and started a Facebook group. To my surprise, some of these alum who deserted the chapter during their membership have joined the group.
I have advised the current members not to invite these alum to alum events but I feel that this may not be right since head office acknowledges these alum. Any ideas as to how the current members can deal with these deserting alum without sacrificing its efforts to reach those who were good members and are good alum? Thanks.
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09-18-2007, 07:18 PM
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Ummm...it's a facebook group. If the chapter members have no problem with these alums joining it, honestly, that's their business. They obviously aren't upset about the fact that these alums didn't pay dues or whatever. As for the discipline issues, if your head office couldn't get their act together to do anything about it, that to me says it must not have been overly important.
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