Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

I agree. All of these conversations leave too much room for lying.

I agree that experience is important, but some of this stuff you'll talk about eventually. However, I'd say that if your major concern is that your future spouse will lie, there are other relationship issues involved.

[Munchkin03]

I agree (surprise surprise) with Valkryie. Especially when you're young (and so many of you are), you think that because your SO says something that it's true. You won't know how much is true until you live with the person on a day-to-day basis.

Most people don't have the real answers for things until they actually live them. Plus, people change. How you answer a question as a 21 yo college junior and "practically engaged" to your first major boyfriend might be the exact opposite to what you'd actually do when you've worked a little bit and seen how the world really works.

Five years ago, I would have answered these questions in a completely different way than I would today.

[aephi alum]

These questions are good. If, at the time they're preparing to get married, two people strongly disagree on a key point like whether to have children or what religion to raise those children with, it's probably not a good idea for them to get married.

However, as a few people have mentioned, your answers to these questions can change over time. My husband and I are a good example. When we got married, we agreed that we wanted children someday. Now, I've come to realize that I don't really want children - I like being a DINK and I'd make a terrible mother. But according to my husband, it's someday - time to have a baby. We are working through this issue and staying childless for the moment.

I also agree that it's a good idea to live with your partner before getting married. It's one thing to talk theoretically about, say, how to divide the household chores; it's another to have the experience of actually having chores to divide.