I'm so scared and excited to death - Page 2

irishpipes · #16 07-13-2006, 11:42 PM

Hey Future -

I wouldn't get too worried about the influence of your high school friends. At a large SEC school with a huge recruitment, you probably will not see your friends that often during the process. I had a similar desire to separate myself from my high school persona during rush, and it was no problem. There will be dozens of rush groups (or whatever your school calls them) so the chances of being in the same one as your friends is slim. You may want to limit your contact with them during the off-hours if you are worried they will try to influence you. You will meet so many new people that you will be able to get through the week without your high school companions.

Some high school friends remain important to us our whole lives, but they are few and far between. Once you become immersed in collegiate life, you will find that you don't have as much in common with most of your old friends as you thought, and you will naturally drift apart and become close with your new college friends. College is the best time you will ever have - Greek life or not. Enjoy it!

ADPi Conniebama · #17 07-14-2006, 02:48 PM

You know, I'll tell you . . . I have been talking to the Greek advisor (at a smaller southern greek system) at the school where I advise and she said that we need to look at groups of girls "going through" together. Which is kind of funny because we are under the assumption that they are looking at "staying together", when they could be looking for seperation or their own identity. (that is at a school with about 200 going through recruitment)

I am sure at BAMA or where ever you are going the sororities won't know more then that a whole bunch of girls are from Birmingham or Huntsville, or Opelika Ms or New York City. So, all you have to worry about is "tent talk" and recs. Because the sororities are going to "recruit" yall all seperately and each one of yall will get a different impression (good or bad) from the same sororities.

Keep us updated if you wish.

FSUZeta · #18 07-14-2006, 04:52 PM

connie, what did she mean that you all needed to look at "girls going thru together?"

at fsu, even back in the day, we did seem to know when a group of girls was going thru together--they seemed to go back to the same houses and they scheduled which houses they went to together. i don't remember anyone being concerned that they were going thru en mass-we were more concerned with two girls going thru together -we were always worried that if we did not pledge both girls, the one offered the bid might not accept.

ADPi Conniebama · #19 07-14-2006, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

connie, what did she mean that you all needed to look at "girls going thru together?"

at fsu, even back in the day, we did seem to know when a group of girls was going thru together--they seemed to go back to the same houses and they scheduled which houses they went to together. i don't remember anyone being concerned that they were going thru en mass-we were more concerned with two girls going thru together -we were always worried that if we did not pledge both girls, the one offered the bid might not accept.

That's right we needed to recognize the fact that girls from Summer orientation or from the same high school might BOND and might want to stay together not necessarily "en mass" but that they might "think alike" or at least listen to eachother during recruitment. She just recommended that we keep that in mind. Which of course we already knew, but I haven't really thought about the opposite happening where the girls might want to think "seperatly."

There is so much to think about when recruiting from the inside and my hint, for a pnm in a "group" is to let the sorority you are interested in know that you are interested in them "no strings attached" as it were.

I hope I made more since that time.

islavistasweety · #20 07-14-2006, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Future9529

I never knew I could be this excited and scared at the same time!!

Oh, but you can!

DominoTheta · #21 07-16-2006, 01:10 AM

GREAT picture islavistasweety. About sums it up. haha.

Future9529 · #22 07-18-2006, 04:24 PM

Is there a way I could come out and say "'all my roomates are rushing and we went to highschool together but i still really like your sorority with or withoutthem and please don't think that i am them" but not so bluntly? haha I wanna make a good impression because I HATE first impressions i really feel like i am horrible at them and i need to get better

Drolefille · #23 07-18-2006, 04:36 PM

You could say, if it comes naturally, something like

Yeah, my roommates/friends are rushing too, but I want to find the place that's right for me, not for them.

texgal · #24 07-18-2006, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Future9529

Is there a way I could come out and say "'all my roomates are rushing and we went to highschool together but i still really like your sorority with or withoutthem and please don't think that i am them" but not so bluntly? haha I wanna make a good impression because I HATE first impressions i really feel like i am horrible at them and i need to get better

"I really like it here." "I really feel at home here." "I hope I get to come back tomorrow."

Don't mention your friends. This is about you and the sororities. Tell them that you're comfortable there and that you want to be there. Don't talk about your friends too much, and if you feel the need to explain that you're willing to go away from your friends, then do it.

Drolefille · #25 07-18-2006, 05:18 PM

Also a good idea.

I'd only mention it if they ask you if you have friends going through.

Use your best judgement, and don't worry about it too much

DatSexiZeta · #26 07-19-2006, 08:29 AM

You are right. Facebook and MySpace can really determine if you are in or out. I know for a fact one girl that is an interest had a picture on facebook throwing up signs of random faternities and sororities. Me being nice, I warned her that she should take it off because it was not only hindering her chances but she was disrespecting other orgs.

DatSexiZeta · #27 07-19-2006, 08:31 AM

Also, i think that being scared is a natural feeling when you are getting to the know the girls of the sororitiy you want to join. You must remember they were once in your place so they know how you feel.

adpiucf · #28 07-19-2006, 08:45 AM

This is your recruitment. You need to spend the events meeting new people and making new friends, learning about their sororities and talking up yourself. Your friends are completely irrelevant to this process and should not even be brought into conversation. This takes away time from them getting to know about YOU.

And talk to your friends. Tell them you love them, you're excited about recruitment, but you know that no matter what you are friends for life. And that means that at recruitment, you should all go in with an open mind knowing that your friendship is secure even if everyone joins a different sorority. Lay the ground rules. And then move on and be happy for one another's choices. If they pout and cry, then cut them off for a while. They're in college now-- they can't get manipulate you into getting their way by being a child.

Future9529 · #29 07-19-2006, 12:06 PM

This is all really good advice! Any more pointers? Thanks!
Some girl that I know said they will only accept one rec and they won't look at them if you have more then one. I thought they meant that only one was "neccessary" (kinda like you can wear jeans but no one ever does) but everything I've read says get 2 or 3 if possible. Am I wasting my time trying to get more?

adpiucf · #30 07-19-2006, 12:13 PM

The Houston Alumnae Panhellenic advises PNM's to get one recommendation per sorority, and to get additional letters of support from alumnae.

The recommendation itself is a form unique to each sorority asking for your SAT scores, GPA and extracurriculars. It is paperwork the sorority must process. There are really only so many ways to say you were captain of the cheerleading squad, so multiple recommendations forms from multiple alumnae really doesn't give the sorority any new information about you.

I recall getting 5 recs on a PNM one year in my chapter. We were accustomed to getting 1 or 2 for a PNM. Each form had identical information to the letter, but was signed by a different alumna. It was a little annoying because it didn't teach us anything new that we couldn't get from the first rec, but we didn't hold it against her.

After you have one rec for a sorority, you hypothetically should be good to go. This may vary, but many of the Houston-area high schools send students to UT, Bama, Auburn, LSU and Ol Miss-- and those girls pledge sororities every year. BUT at competitive schools like this the Houston AP has one more trick up their sleeves for our area PNMs: letters of support.

Letters of support from alumnae supplement what is on the recommendation form. They can help you to postitvely stand out because alumnae have taken the time to write about their relationship with you and those qualitative factors that go beyond "she volunteered for 2 years at a soup kitchen" that is found on your recruitment application and recomendation form.

Hope this helps.

If recs aren't the norm at your school, certainly, they can help you to stand out. If they are the norm at your school, then make sure to get them for all of the chapters so that you have every advantage available to you coming into recruitment. They won't guarantee you a bid, but in many cases recs bump your visibility among the sororities. Or so many girls have them that it becomes status quo and in making cuts it is easier to cut the girls they know less about. Recs can help here, although again, it isn't a full proof guarantee.

If the girl you spoke to is a member of a sorority at your school and she has been through recruitment as a sister of that sorority, you should be fine with one rec at her chapter. Remember not to take everything you see on GC as gospel. When in doubt, call the office of Greek Life at your school. Instead of asking them if recs are necessary, ask on average how many recs a chapter typically receives (a lot or very little) and if they normally get multiple recs for one PNM.