Depledging and rushing again

[ADPiShannan]

I agree with everyone else that you need to be upfront and honest. As soon as the sorority you depledged from sees you are on the list for recruitment, they may tell other chapters or people may already know.

As for the other sorority, maybe talk with the president before you go through recruitment. A lot of times we've had some great girls leave and they never really sit down and discuss why they are doing it or really go into detail whats going on with them. They may also not know you truly wanted to be a part of the organization. We hear that sometimes from people who want to be at another sorority or who just dont care or even people who are doing bad in school. Make sure they know this is no way a excuse.

Don't just drop them because they weren't supportive. Why, because maybe they didnt know exactly what happened or excatly how much you wanted to be a part of their sorority but couldnt.

Its really hard if you are on a small greek campus people hear things and you dont always get a chance to set the rumors straight. Dont be afraid though.

As long as you are honest and very open with the recruitment process you'll be fine. People just get nervous when they hear someone left a chapter and they wonder why or if it is the truth.

[DeltaPyrite]

Originally posted by Alpha Chi Emily
Not to flame you or anything, but if a girl told me that she had to depledge for family issues... I'd wonder why my sorority had anything to do with that -- we're not her biological family and all we want is to support her through difficult times. Many sororities have seen "family issues" as a reason for a new member's depledging before -- sometimes this was truthful, sometimes it wasn't. Think of it this way: if someone told you she couldn't be friends with you anymore because of family issues, you'd wonder why too.

I'm sure you know this, but that analogy just doesn't work. At all.
GLO's, especially during pledging, are a huge time and financial commitment. If you have to slightly neglect a friend, hang out with her less, not do everything with her that she wants you to, because you have family crises that are eating up your time and energy, she might be hurt, but ultimately it wouldn't be a permanent and official end to your friendship (if she's a true friend!). If that happens during pledging, if you can't fulfill your commitments to the sorority and you have to depledge, that's entirely different from neglecting a friendship that you can always return to.

[Stef the Pef]

I've known girls who depledge for all kinds of reasons--some of which tend to be that their heart was somewhere else. Perhaps you need to talk to some of your friends from your pledged chapter and explain why you left--that way, they won't assume you're leaving them for elsewhere.

Folks are right--you're considered "damaged goods" by a lot of folks, whether the shoe really fits or not. Put your best foot forward, get recommendations to the sororities again, and tell the truth if you're asked about pledging a sorority previously. It seems like there's no shame in your story, but just remember to present yourself as well as you can as a responsible person that folks would like to see in their chapter.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally posted by DeltaPyrite
I'm sure you know this, but that analogy just doesn't work. At all.
GLO's, especially during pledging, are a huge time and financial commitment. If you have to slightly neglect a friend, hang out with her less, not do everything with her that she wants you to, because you have family crises that are eating up your time and energy, she might be hurt, but ultimately it wouldn't be a permanent and official end to your friendship (if she's a true friend!). If that happens during pledging, if you can't fulfill your commitments to the sorority and you have to depledge, that's entirely different from neglecting a friendship that you can always return to.

That's why I said it would be as if you told a friend straight up that you couldn't be friends with her anymore. I didn't say it's like temporarily neglecting a friend.

Yes, everyone knows there's more to a sorority relationship than a friendship (mandatory events, money) but only in the most dire cases can some kind of arrangement not be worked out for a sister in need. Temporary alumni status/chapter status/"abroad" status are all options that we've exercised for girls with money and family issues. That's why we don't understand when girls depledge/deactivate and don't give us a chance to help.

ETA: And we have special arrangments specifically for new members that can allow them to transfer their new member period to a later date.

[stormy]

Depending on the size of your school, you might have a real problem during rush. Sororities and frats usually know every d-bag, it sounds impossible but its true, and take it as an insult for your leaving. If you are seriously going to go thru rush again, your best bet is to approach the topic on a personal level with the group you left. Talk with as many members as you can. Goodluck!

[Zillini]

It's a shame you felt you had to de-pledge in order to deal with your family problems. Your (former) sisters may have been able to lend you support during this difficult time.

I can't speak for other sororities, but ours has options available for a new member to go inactive in extreme cases of financial, personal, and health crises. Then they once life has settled down, they are able to return.

Here's an example. Not long ago one of our new member's boyfriend since Jr. High was killed in a car accident a week or two after she joined. Obviously she was devastated. She didn't withdraw from school, but moved back home and commuted to classes only. She asked what she could do because while she didn't want to quit, she was not in any kind of mindframe to be involved. She was granted inactive status and she chose to return after a semester. She's become an active, loved and valued member since.

That's neither here nor there, so back to the original question. It's going to be difficult as some of the Chapters may frown on your decision if they don't know or understand your situation. It will be up to you to explain it to them. I would suggest you try to do so before recruitment through conversations with friends. Another suggestion would be perhaps to have those writing your recommendations to mention it in their letters.

This may or may not help. It will especially be difficult if as was already mentioned some of the Chapters have been "burned" by other former members using "family problems" as an excuse.

But you never know how things will go unless you try. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. I hope that if you do pursue recruitment, the Chapters will be opened minded and understanding.

[adpiucf]

Seeing as it has been nearly a month since the OP has posted... I think we're all talking to ourselves!