Quote:
Originally posted by Sparismarshall
Thanks! I know an aluma in one group I might pursue, but she is not in my geographic area. Would it be wise to talk to her first or to Headquarters and have her write me a rec later?
|
Okay, since this thread got semi-jacked, I want to steer it back on track. As an oldtimer on GC (coming up on 6 years...woo hoo), I've been seeked out on a number of occasions for AI advice, and don't give it as much anymore. It's too psychologically exhausting. And yet, I feel compelled to respond to your situation.
Okay, since you know an alumna (though not in your city), she could potentially write a letter of introduction to either her sorority's Executive Offices or to the Alumnae Chapter in "Sparismarshall City". However, this letter of introduction might not yield as much clout as you'd think. If she sends it to EO, it will likely get forwarded to the alumnae chapter anyway, for the alumnae chapter in your city to decide as to what action they want to take (if any).
That being said, I need to be truthful. There are 3 scenarios that could arise. I call them The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
The Good:
Alumna-lady writes the letter of introduction. The alumnae chapter is interested and agrees to meet with you. You meet them. They meet you. You love them and they love you. You get to know them. They eventually extend to you an invitation to membership. Everyone is happy happy. The End.
The Bad(ish):
(a)Alumna-lady writes the letter of introduction.
If she sent it to the alumnae chapter: The alumnae chapter perhaps, is either not interested in having someone join them or, they feel suspicious/confused that the candidate in question hasn't had the experience of being a collegian member first, or they meet you and they feel that there is not a fit. They tell you that they have decided not to pursue the matter further with you (or however they wordsmith it).
(b) If she sent it to EO: EO forwards it to the alumnae chapter. I must emphasize that no EO will ever say to an alumnae chapter "You must meet this person". They leave it up to the local alumnae in your city as to whether they want to meet a prospective candidate or not. It's very self-governing/autonomous that way. After all, these woman are the ones that would be seeing you on a regular basis, so no EO will ever "force them" to meet someone or take on someone as a prospective new member. It's pretty much left up to the local chapter.
The Ugly:
More common than not, the prospective AI gets no response, or meets the chapter and then gets no response.
This could be attributed to either the chapter is disorganized or they are not interested and they are hoping that with the silence (i.e. lack of response), that you will get discouraged and go away.
And also some alumnae chapters don't know what AI is and they don't want to have any members join them that way, because that's not how things have always been done. They respond to your communication with silence and hope that the whole thing will "go away". This is a very unfortunate situation because to me, part of being an adult is having the skill to "say no" to someone and do so diplomatically. If someone cannot say "no", then it's their problem, not the prospective alumna initiate's. But unfortunately, this happens from time to time, and so I wanted to forewarn you about the different potential scenarios.
So...if you get no response, I have no perfect answer as to how persistant you may wish to be. Persistence could yield results. However, in some cases, the more one persists, the more definite the rebuff may be.
And, if this post seems to be bit harsh, I felt that it was necessary to cut through all the "sunshine blowing in the posterior direction" that happens on this AI forum all too often. I've been on here for 6 years (in May).....I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly happen.
I saw one woman (southern states) get "outted" at an alumnae panhellenic meeting because sorority women from different sororities can and do talk to each other. She was "found out" to have approached more than one and was basically frozen all by all groups in attendance at the meeting. In another situation, I know of one woman who was a pledge in college, but never initiated. When she tried to initiate via the AI process, she met the women, seemed to click with them and then after months of silence (and persistence), they eventually told her "no" because she had not shared the collegiate experience with them.
So....I'm just saying, you could have several years' wait ahead of you.
Linear Mode
