Are single women

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by James
Made to feel like they have less social validity or something without a man in their life?

And does that pressure increase more as they get older?

Why?

Yes.

Because women are conditioned subtly by society and relatives that their place is in the home, serving their husband and children, and sacrificing their wants and needs so their kids have the best of everything and their husbands get ahead at work and drive the newer car.

I think it is ridiculous, and I hate when I have friends crying that they're past their prime by age 19 or that they're 27 and an old maid, etc etc., because their families and communities have conditioned them to be moms and wives above people with brains and goals and dreams.

I hate it, but even I feel that pressure sometimes. It's maddening.

This isn't to say someone can't feel fulfilled and happy being a wife or mother, but it's imposed upon women and girls from cradle to grave... so it's a bit much.

Take one poster-- her husband was transferred to a new city and everyone in her family was shocked that she still planned to pursue graduate school instead of supporting her husband.

[Dionysus]

I have not been pressured (that much).

Find new people to hang around. I can't stand being around people with that mentality.

[adpiucf]

But Dionysus, what if it's your family? You can't get away from them!

One thing I've taken to is just not talking about relationships with my family members, even if the relationship goes longer than a year. If I can't see a future with someone, I don't need my family to start fantasizing it for me....

Oh and moving 1000 miles from them helps, too.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by adpiucf
But Dionysus, what if it's your family? You can't get away from them!

Yeah, that would make things harder. Fortunately, my immediate family doesn't give a damn. Now, some of my extended family do get nosy, but I try to avoid them as much as possible...and not just for that reason.

[Taualumna]

When your family ISN'T asking you, you wonder why...

A (female) cousin who is 20 months older than me got married over the US Thanksgiving weekend. I'm the second oldest and NO ONE has asked me when my turn is...I'm beginning to wonder if they think I'm going to be a single girl until my 30s. Why am I not getting any pressure?

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by Taualumna
When your family ISN'T asking you, you wonder why...

A (female) cousin who is 20 months older than me got married over the US Thanksgiving weekend. I'm the second oldest and NO ONE has asked me when my turn is...I'm beginning to wonder if they think I'm going to be a single girl until my 30s. Why am I not getting any pressure?

Are you complaining that your family isn't pressuring you?

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
Are you complaining that your family isn't pressuring you?

Yes.

[mu_agd]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Yes.

Just out of curiousity, why?

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by mu_agd
Just out of curiousity, why?

I'm just wondering if my family thinks there's something wrong with me. They ask my other cousins (including those who're still in school and probably won't be marrying any time soon) if they have boyfriends/girlfriends and/or when they're getting married, but not me.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I'm just wondering if my family thinks there's something wrong with me. They ask my other cousins (including those who're still in school and probably won't be marrying any time soon) if they have boyfriends/girlfriends and/or when they're getting married, but not me.

this is called DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I'm just wondering if my family thinks there's something wrong with me. They ask my other cousins (including those who're still in school and probably won't be marrying any time soon) if they have boyfriends/girlfriends and/or when they're getting married, but not me.

If you are really concerned, ask them. There is nothing wrong with being single in my opinion.

Not everyone follows the same time line. Some people get married right after high school or college. Some people focus on their careers. It's a personal choice or based on circumstances.

If you are happy and comfortable with yourself, don't let anyone else's opinion of you change that. If you are not happy, either work on changing the things that make you unhappy or accept the things that you can't change. I don't mean to sound like the Serenity Prayer, but sometimes everyone could use some peace of mind.

Ditto 33girl.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
If you are really concerned, ask them. There is nothing wrong with being single in my opinion.

.

They're bound to say something along the lines of "we think you're really immature, Taualumna. The best time for you to marry is probably when you're 30-35."

[AGDee]

Perhaps they know that you are capable of other things but that the other girls in your family are not. Perhaps they recognize that you can take care of yourself but the others can't.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by Taualumna
They're bound to say something along the lines of "we think you're really immature, Taualumna. The best time for you to marry is probably when you're 30-35."

1. There's nothing wrong with waiting to get married until your 30s.

2. Don't worry about other people's opinions of you if you are happy and satisfied with yourself.

3. If you aren't happy, make some changes.

4. See AGDee's post.

5. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by adpiucf
Yes.

Because women are conditioned subtly by society and relatives that their place is in the home, serving their husband and children, and sacrificing their wants and needs so their kids have the best of everything and their husbands get ahead at work and drive the newer car.

Wow, where? Maybe in the south or where people are quite traditional, but I've never experienced that sort of conditioning.