What would you say/do? - Page 2

ladygreek · #16 11-18-2005, 03:06 PM

So is this the new R Kelly soap opera?

PerfectPearl · #17 11-18-2005, 04:56 PM

To add some clarity to this situation. She was calling a few states away and in fact calling from work per caller ID. Her tone was different this time, extremely apologetic. She started off by saying that she just had to call back because she felt that she had not made herself clear enough and that I was probably extremely upset and she had not been gracious enough to me? I told her she was annoying me with all the inuendos and vagueness. She hadn't told me anything for me to be upset about. Then she started in on how she has a husband and family as she knew I had because she and my husband had many conversations about it. She would never do anything to jeopardize the families. I asked her again point blank did you/have ever slept with my husband. She initially said you should ask him, then denied that she had slept with my husband and that she wasn't even mildly attracted to him. "You have NOTHING to worry about" and laughed (like he was butt-ugly.) She then promised me that this would be the last communication from her ever. I started to call my husband again since he hadn't called me back, but I decided to wait until he got home to see the reaction in his face.

Gyrl7 · #18 11-18-2005, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PerfectPearl
To add some clarity to this situation. She was calling a few states away and in fact calling from work per caller ID. Her tone was different this time, extremely apologetic. She started off by saying that she just had to call back because she felt that she had not made herself clear enough and that I was probably extremely upset and she had not been gracious enough to me? I told her she was annoying me with all the inuendos and vagueness. She hadn't told me anything for me to be upset about. Then she started in on how she has a husband and family as she knew I had because she and my husband had many conversations about it. She would never do anything to jeopardize the families. I asked her again point blank did you/have ever slept with my husband. She initially said you should ask him, then denied that she had slept with my husband and that she wasn't even mildly attracted to him. "You have NOTHING to worry about" and laughed (like he was butt-ugly.) She then promised me that this would be the last communication from her ever. I started to call my husband again since he hadn't called me back, but I decided to wait until he got home to see the reaction in his face.

Why wont the trick just come out and say YES or NO! What is up with the "You should ask him"??? Well I guess you are going to have to since her sill ash wont answer.....mmmm, mmmm, mmm...lawd hammercy.

wrigley · #19 11-18-2005, 09:09 PM

Perfect Pearl do not confront your husband right now. You need to get yourself together and think about your options. The only thing confronting him will do now is turn into a big fight. You need to decide whether or not you need to retain a lawyer, pastoral counseling, or another maritial counselor. Until you decide how you want to approach it don't go into this battle blind. Pray for guidance. Then confront your husband.

She is playing mind games with you and she needs to be put on notice that you are a woman that does not play with trash like her. You have her work number. Have a friend call it and find out what company she works for. Call her human resources and inform then you don't appreciate receiving harrassing phone calls from this obviously disturbed woman. That you hope they can provide her with the mental help she so very much needs. Homewrecker.

Something obviously happened or else she still wouldn't be calling all the time trying to get ahold of him.

Lady of Pearl · #20 11-18-2005, 09:11 PM

I'd confront the truth in love, oh honey, did you know your phone was at home today, and guess what? I got a call from one of your business associates?

Why does she have our persnonal number too? Play dumb and let him confess to it all.

(Gives you something to think about-has his cell phone number and personal phone number, if he has nothing to hide why didn't he tell you about her?

onlyme · #21 11-18-2005, 10:04 PM

Ok, so did you see his reaction? Did you speak to him, soror? What happened? Is the situation resolved?

Quote:

Originally posted by PerfectPearl
To add some clarity to this situation. She was calling a few states away and in fact calling from work per caller ID. Her tone was different this time, extremely apologetic. She started off by saying that she just had to call back because she felt that she had not made herself clear enough and that I was probably extremely upset and she had not been gracious enough to me? I told her she was annoying me with all the inuendos and vagueness. She hadn't told me anything for me to be upset about. Then she started in on how she has a husband and family as she knew I had because she and my husband had many conversations about it. She would never do anything to jeopardize the families. I asked her again point blank did you/have ever slept with my husband. She initially said you should ask him, then denied that she had slept with my husband and that she wasn't even mildly attracted to him. "You have NOTHING to worry about" and laughed (like he was butt-ugly.) She then promised me that this would be the last communication from her ever. I started to call my husband again since he hadn't called me back, but I decided to wait until he got home to see the reaction in his face.

futurestar1 · #22 11-19-2005, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady of Pearl
I'd confront the truth in love, oh honey, did you know your phone was at home today, and guess what? I got a call from one of your business associates? Why does she have our persnonal number too? Play dumb and let him confess to it all.

(Gives you something to think about-has his cell phone number and personal phone number, if he has nothing to hide why didn't he tell you about her?

This seems like a good suggestion.

PerfectPearl · #23 11-19-2005, 11:22 AM

When he got home that evening he kissed me and acted normal. He said he had a stressful day and I said me too- I then asked him did he know someone that works at blah, blah, blah. He said yeah I was introduced to her at a conference by a colleague(I have spoken to this female colleague) and we were supposed to be working on a project together, but I haven't heard from her in months. I asked him if he slept with (I named her) and he said no. He looked like that was the craziest thing he had ever heard. I got street on him and said triggas are like dogs and rarely turn down cat, except in the worst conditions and if you've seen some of the pregnant women I've seen these conditions can be waived. I then told him what Sistagirl had said. He then began saying how crazy she is, overly flirtatious, etc, etc. She has come on to him several times but he never reciprocated That's when I got ANGRY!!! He has presumably known this chick for over a year I have never heard of her. I have never heard of these flirtations. And I told him out an out - I don't believe you. He said how many times have triggas flirted with you and you came home and told me about it. I said exactly I told you about it-we had a good laugh. This you NEVER told me about- you must have something to hide. He denied it vehemently, he had to take our son to practice so he said we would talk about it when he came back...

prayerfull · #24 11-19-2005, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PerfectPearl
I said exactly I told you about it-we had a good laugh. This you NEVER told me about- you must have something to hide.

Uh...Ok Soror...I'm having Trapped in the Closet flashbacks of Cleophus and his wife on the floor laughing about their "eventful day". Don't sleep on your "situation". I don't know 'bout you, but I'd be in private investigator mode right about this time if I was in your situation.

onlyme · #25 11-19-2005, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ladygreek
So is this the new R Kelly soap opera?

I'm thinking the same thing.

sensa_diva · #26 11-19-2005, 07:46 PM

I hate to say this but some women are home-wreckers. It is not ALL the time that men screw up.

Her husband might have shunned the woman and the woman took it upon herself to be a vengeful B$##H!!!

However you MUST go with that gut instinct. Don't play dumb and blind becuz the truth will always reveal itself no matter how many ways you shield yourself from it. I am not a married woman so this is where my advice stops.....BUT I wish you resolve in this situation and a stronger marriage.

AKA2D '91 · #27 11-19-2005, 09:31 PM

Rra had to get the idea from somewhere...

Good luck to PP with whatever decision(s) she make(s)!

PerfectPearl · #28 11-19-2005, 11:17 PM

When my husband came back we had a long talk and he vehemently denied doing anything with this chick. He admitted she had come on to him and he hadn't told me because he thought it was silly. He said she was overly flirtatious and he wasn't attracted to her at all. He told me he had called her to resolve the matter and when she didn't return any of his calls he left a message saying she was interfering with our marriage and it was best she didn't call anymore, he was not interested in working on any projects with her. He said he felt that she probably felt slighted as she thinks everyman wants her and was trying to get back at him for the message to refuse to do the project. Well, I told him he should have been honest with me and that I still don't know if he did or didn't do anything. But I don't trust him. I pulled up her picture on her company's website and if she looked like Jill Scott I knew I was in trouble- either it was a bad picture or she looked extremely plain. That didn't make me feel better but I didn't feel worse. Anyhoo, I wish I could say this is resolved but it isn't. I don't trust him and now I have to seriously think about the possibility of what his potential infidelity could mean for me- (i.e. HIV/AIDS). African-American women are being infected and dying at an alarming rate. Thanks to all who gave me advice and was ready to open up a can of wa.

darling1 · #29 11-20-2005, 04:55 PM

im glad that it seems that things were not as 'bad' as it could have been. i can't help but be struck by what you have said..what you are feeling, that is. i suggest that from this point, you pray, speak with a spiritual advisor--someone that can offer neutral advice, most importantly continue the dialogue with your husband. it is imperative that you work through with him all that you are feeling. i get the sense that this is not new behavior or your feelings have been nesting for a while.

lastly, be mindful of who you invite into your 'marriage' and who you share your marital business with.

i wish you the best!

Quote:

Originally posted by PerfectPearl
When my husband came back we had a long talk and he vehemently denied doing anything with this chick. He admitted she had come on to him and he hadn't told me because he thought it was silly. He said she was overly flirtatious and he wasn't attracted to her at all. He told me he had called her to resolve the matter and when she didn't return any of his calls he left a message saying she was interfering with our marriage and it was best she didn't call anymore, he was not interested in working on any projects with her. He said he felt that she probably felt slighted as she thinks everyman wants her and was trying to get back at him for the message to refuse to do the project. Well, I told him he should have been honest with me and that I still don't know if he did or didn't do anything. But I don't trust him. I pulled up her picture on her company's website and if she looked like Jill Scott I knew I was in trouble- either it was a bad picture or she looked extremely plain. That didn't make me feel better but I didn't feel worse. Anyhoo, I wish I could say this is resolved but it isn't. I don't trust him and now I have to seriously think about the possibility of what his potential infidelity could mean for me- (i.e. HIV/AIDS). African-American women are being infected and dying at an alarming rate. Thanks to all who gave me advice and was ready to open up a can of wa.

emeraldAKA99 · #30 11-20-2005, 07:09 PM

Darling 1 I was aondering some of the same things. Soror Perfect Pearl, are your only reasons for not trusting your husband based on what this woman said, or were you suspicious of him all along?

Remain prayerful about the situation, and before you jump to any conclusions, seek wise counsel.