Jealousy?

[texas*princess]

Without knowing the intimate details of your relationship (everything that was said, what ya'll normally fight about, etc) I think it's pretty safe to agree with the guys (well some of them) here.

Guys are usually not that complicated. They are very simple creatures.

They're not mind readers (as much as most ladies would like them to be!).
So for you to say "SHOW ME YOU LOVE ME!!!!!" confuses them. Do you have something in mind on what you want him to do? Is it possible you are discounting some of the small things that he might do to show you he cares?

I have to be honest -- if I were a guy, and some girl told me "SHOW ME YOU LOVE ME!!" I would think she was nuts. Then I would run away. Far, far away.

That's just my .02 though.

[LightBulb]

Bobby's got it all worked out!

WestVirginia, you can't have love without trust. I know it is normal to be jealous sometimes (I sometimes am, and so is my boyfriend [and we are also long-distance right now]), but you have to know that, if he is a good guy, he wouldn't be in a six-hours-away relationship unless he really wanted to be with you. If you are sure that he's a good guy who loves you, you need to trust that he'll stay faithful to you.

Also, if you are jealous of little things like girls signing his facebook (sidetrack: how many guys sign yours?), you would probably still be madly jealous when he returns (ie, if a girl asks to get lunch with him, study with him, calls to ask what day the exam is, etc.) even if he does show you he loves you by getting you a card (a la Horatio) or chocolates or whatever.

Bottom line - you're hurting more than just your relationship. You're hurting him and even yourself by not allowing yourself learn to trust. That can potentially kill a relationship.

A little counseling wouldn't be a bad idea... or at least talking this over with friends. If I were you, I'd apologize (call or maybe write a letter) for being jealous and make an effort to start curbing the jealousy. Easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere. You're going to have to trust him, or the relationship will go nowhere. You're going to have to trust someone, or you will never trust any future boyfriends.

PS - I'm sorry to hear about your ex-boyfriend and best "friend". That's a really awful and revolting thing to happen.

[33girl]

Originally posted by WVU alpha phi
I know it's complete insecurities and I want to do my best to get rid of them, but I almost feel like he should be helping out too. We got in a HUGE fight last night and today and all I asked was for him to SHOW me he loves me instead of constantly SAYING it. He seems to think everything is fixed with an "I love you." He thinks I'm being selfish and he shouldn't have to prove anything, but I'm looking at it from the point that if he DID love me, he'd want me to believe it.

Am I just crazy?

I think I know what you mean by showing it vs. saying it. My first boyfriend would fight with me and send flowers and think that made it all better - even though we hadn't resolved any of the issues. He'd tell me I love you up and down and back again - but then he'd turn around and say something like "I really don't like that blouse, can you please go change so you look better?" (Needless to say, this is when I was 18. I would kick the shit out of anyone who said something like that to me now.)

Point being it isn't resolved with an I Love You. However, you shouldn't put all the ex's bad actions on him either. If we all did that the human race would never reproduce

Just tell him outright "it bugs me when you go a week without calling me" or whatever it is you'd like him to do to show you.