Dating a "sort of" married man - Page 2

damasa · #16 08-23-2005, 10:45 PM

LOL.

How is someone "sort of" married?

"Hey buddy are you married?"

"Well, sort of, but only on the first and third Thursday of each month."

Wait until homie is divorced...

AGDee · #17 08-23-2005, 11:16 PM

Wait until he is divorced.

I'm Catholic, I've been divorced twice. I had the first one annulled-it really wasn't that hard, just a bunch of paperwork, like writing my autobiography and his biography. If I choose to re-marry in the Catholic church, I will have the second one annulled too, but I don't want to marry again, so it doesn't really matter to me. If he is so concerned about the Catholic thing, then he won't have sex for the rest of his life (without having it annulled) because it will be adultery. It sounds like he's using it as an excuse.

As for still living with his wife, that may continue to happen for a while. I had to live in the same house as my ex while waiting for our divorce to become final and for 10 months afterward. Whoever moves out of the house essentially gives up rights to the house, but must continue paying on the mortgage if their name is on the mortgage (depending on the state). In my situation, the ex wanted the house and I couldn't afford to move out to a 3 bedroom place (we have two kids, opposite genders) and still pay half of the mortgage on the other house. I was stuck there. In fact, I was stuck there until he bought me out of his half of the house, which was 10 months after our divorce was final. It was the most stressful, hellish time of my life. I dated some during that time but it was very screwy and I was a little surprised that anybody WOULD date me given the situation. I wouldn't have believed a man who fed me such a story...lol.

IF that guy is contemplating divorce, he needs to make that decision without a 3rd party being involved. It doesn't sound to me like he is contemplating divorce though.

Dee

tinydancer · #18 08-23-2005, 11:31 PM

It ain't worth it.
(Sorry to say, this is from personal experience.)

James · #19 08-23-2005, 11:41 PM

If you like him and can accept the situation . . just have fun with it.

#20 08-24-2005, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
If you like him and can accept the situation . . just have fun with it.

Oh no, horrible advice!!!

It's just trashy to continue on with this. Sorry, but it's true.

Sistermadly · #21 08-24-2005, 08:43 AM

Separated is not divorced. End of story.

Of course, if you're okay with your set up, then who are we to judge?

aephi alum · #22 08-24-2005, 08:55 AM

SeparatING is not the same as separatED.

If you start dating him now, he is probably going to be "separating" for a very long time. He'll stay married, always coming up with excuses why the separation/divorce hasn't gone through yet, and you will be the bit o' stuff on the side. Is that really what you want?

Tell him you want to wait until they are at least separated, if not divorced. If he's serious, he'll accept that. In the interim, keep him at arm's length.

As others have pointed out, he can get divorced. The divorce will not be recognized by the Catholic Church, but the marriage can be annulled.

OtterXO · #23 08-24-2005, 09:13 AM

I think the fact that you're making excuses for him and trying to explain his behavior already shows that you know what he's doing is NOT okay. In my opinion you should never have to explain or justify a person's f*cked up behavior to other people. He's married. You know he's married. If you choose to keep seeing him then know you are having an affair with a married man. That's it...no matter how you try to explain it.

Sister Havana · #24 08-24-2005, 09:56 AM

Run far, far away and don't look back.

This is a very sketchy situation. Red flags and alarms all over.

I know a guy like this. He and his wife have been thisclose to divorce (so he says) as long as I've known them. (4 years) He actually DID move out for about a year but he was over at their house every day of that year (they have 2 kids) and when his lease was up, guess where he moved right back to? Meanwhile he has his mistress (and a few others on the side) whom he keeps telling he's going to leave his wife next month, two months, any time now...then they'll be engaged, blah blah. It is just a bad situation all around.
(For the record, I have not been involved with this guy in that way - no thank you! But I do know a few people who have.)

TheBest! · #25 08-24-2005, 10:51 AM

You are right. I haven't felt good about this whole thing, but when I tell him that I can't go out with him as something else. He starts calling me and says he won't let me go, that he will go to my house everyday if possible because he always get what he wants.
I know it's not right and I needed to confirm with your point of view that what is happening is totally wrong and denigrating.

Beleive me I'll RUN AWAY FAR FAR AWAY.

Lady Pi Phi · #26 08-24-2005, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheBest!
You are right. I haven't felt good about this whole thing, but when I tell him that I can't go out with him as something else. He starts calling me and says he won't let me go, that he will go to my house everyday if possible because he always get what he wants...

That's when you call the cops and get a restraining order. I don't know why you needed us to help confirm that this guy is no good? You need to cut off all communications with this guys NOW.

cashmoney · #27 08-24-2005, 11:21 AM

I say you break him off a piece and be done with it. Pop it and Drop it. If he calls you afterwards just tell him his dick was too small for you and he'll leave you alone. Your problems are solved.

AchtungBaby80 · #28 08-24-2005, 12:53 PM

Keep the presents and run.

Lindz928 · #29 08-24-2005, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
If you like him and can accept the situation . . just have fun with it.

I'm a little bothered by the fact that this is the exact same advice you just gave me. Are you lying to me James?

The one thing I didn't see her say, and I may have just missed it, but is she actually being physical with this guy? If so, then that is a bad idea.

I know she already said she was running away, and that is really good. I also think the divorce thing is an excuse.

PenguinTrax · #30 08-24-2005, 01:27 PM

There's no 'sort of' about it. He's married. He's living in the same house as his wife. Until he's moved out and got those divorce papers in hand, leave him the hell alone.

Unless you like being named as the 'other woman' in a divorce suit?