He's already got a girl.

[PrettySqueaky]

Originally posted by prettypoodle6:
Midwestdiva:

I'm with you! I am 24 and never cheated on my man.... If I'm not happy, I'll just leave. I wont stay and cheat, whats the point?

But back to the question though, I once dated someone who had a girl. I knew it was wrong (cause I would not want a woman seeing my man and she KNEW about me) but my mentality at the time was "I dont have any loyalties to her, so if he doesnt care then why should I?"

Now that I have a few more years behind me and know what I really want out of a relationship, I wouldnt do it again. If your male friend is thinking about breaking up with his girl THEN HE NEEDS DO IT!!! And no matter how we try to justify it (what if we we're friends first... what if he's THINKING of breaking up with her...), cheating is wrong. It's damaging to all parties involved. Finish the last chapter completely before moving on to then next book.....

That's just my personal opinion.

Aight check it...Number one "People in glass houses shouldn't thow stones." Meaning you already said you've talked to a guy knowing he had a girl.

Number two, by saying we were friends first and by saying they're going to break up was for conversational purposes only. But people didn't really feedback on that...Just spent a majority of the time talking about how they never cheated. Which I find incomprehensible.

Number three, by talking to a guy that you knew had a girl...yes you've cheated. You cheated on yourself.

I tell you what some broads kill me. Trying to justify things knowing that they've been through it themselves. I know that as you get older you get wiser, but sometimes people lose touch with reality(gullible.)

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Pretty Squeaky,

I think it would serve you to learn tact.

At any rate, I am not interested in playing games. In my opinion, if there is no trust in a relationship, there may as well be no relationship. Trust is a 2 way street; if I expect him to be trustworthy, then I should also be trustworthy. I don't know how you equate trustworthiness with being a doormat, but I'll move on.

I understand that young people tend to act impulsively. When I was younger, I would break up with someone just because I saw something that I thought looked better. But now that I am older it really is time to put childish things away. When thoughts of cheating cross my mind, it's time for me to reevaluate the relationship. Why do I want to cheat? Is my man not satisfying me sexually? Do we not have common interests? How much time have I invested in the relationship? Is a roll in the hay with some other guy worth losing the one I have? Is this relationship making me miserable? Is my man Mr. Right, or just Mr. Right Now?

Cheating on my man isn't going to solve any of the above mentioned problems. If he finds out about it, our problems will only get worse. The only way to solve those problems is to address them. If the problems can't be resolved then it is probably best to move on.

And on a final note, I can't tell you how many married or otherwise unavailable men approach me. They always have some justification for their actions. But the bottom line is there is no reason to cheat. There are however, many excuses.

[PrettySqueaky]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
Pretty Squeaky,

I think it would serve you to learn tact.

I've noticed you have a serious problem when people voice there opinions that's different from yours.

That's a place to be tactful and this isn't the place-this a place of freedom of expression, a message board. You need to seriously chill.

And if the term broad offended anybody. I'm from the dirty south and I'm not going to apologize for my slang termniology and like I said "some broads." So if the shoe fits.

And so basically from your last post I see that you've cheated. You justified it by breaking up with the guy first. And on that note I'm out. Whateva yo.

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Originally posted by PrettySqueaky:
I've noticed you have a serious problem when people voice there opinions that's different from yours.

I don't have a "problem" when people disagree with me. I like to debate, so therefore I need people to disagree with me. There is a certain Que that disagrees with everything I say, but he is ALWAYS tactful.

And you aren't the only one that has noticed things.

I noticed that a certain thread was removed in the A Phi A forum when you decided to educate an Alpha interest that Sigma Pi Phi was really the first BGLO. I wonder why that thread disappeared?

I also noticed that certain interests in the Ladies Seeking Sisterhood forum mentioned that they had been pursuing membership for 10 years. You response was this:

"Ten years. Have you been in school that long?......To me it just seems like you're sitting back waiting for something to be handed to you without getting out there and working for yourself." Then they both very tactfully explained to you that seeking membership on the graduate level can be very difficult. Especially for one sorority in particular.

Suggesting that someone you don't even know is sitting on their butt? Hell, that goes beyond tactlessness, that was downright rude. Mind you neither of these examples has anything to do with me as I have not been trying to gain membership for 10 years and I am not an Alpha.

I'm not suggesting that you learn tact to spare my feelings, as my feelings aren't hurt. Professionally speaking, learning how to be tactful will help you a lot.

Have a great day

------------------
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige)

[PrettySqueaky]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
I don't have a "problem" when people disagree with me. I like to debate, so therefore I need people to disagree with me. There is a certain Que that disagrees with everything I say, but he is ALWAYS tactful.

And you aren't the only one that has noticed things.

I noticed that a certain thread was removed in the A Phi A forum when you decided to educate an Alpha interest that Sigma Pi Phi was really the first BGLO. I wonder why that thread disappeared?
Well to answer that question the moderator took it off because the guy who I was responding to got a little hostile and upset. As well as some old 30yr old AKA whom I offended by calling her old old skool or something like that.

I also noticed that certain interests in the Ladies Seeking Sisterhood forum mentioned that they had been pursuing membership for 10 years. You response was this:

"Ten years. Have you been in school that long?......To me it just seems like you're sitting back waiting for something to be handed to you without getting out there and working for yourself." Then they both very tactfully explained to you that seeking membership on the graduate level can be very difficult. Especially for one sorority in particular.
I'm afraid I didn't see their response but thank you so much for sharing that with me. Do you have the link for that website?Besides I love the way you quote me, makes me feel great to be admired. Cut and Paste baby

Suggesting that someone you don't even know is sitting on their butt? Hell, that goes beyond tactlessness, that was downright rude. Mind you neither of these examples has anything to do with me as I have not been trying to gain membership for 10 years and I am not an Alpha.

I'm not suggesting that you learn tact to spare my feelings, as my feelings aren't hurt. Professionally speaking, learning how to be tactful will help you a lot.
Apparently you don't know the difference between professionally speaking and socially speaking. I seriously doubt I will ever meet you and half of the other people on this forum a day in my life. You need to seriously cool your jets mah. Seriously you are taking this message board a little bit to seriously. And yes Sigma Pi Phi is the first black greek letter organization(they didn't say collegiate or professional or incorporated...they said the first.) And no one said anything about being in grad school...they said they were in school and have been trying for ten years to be in a sorority. And hell I don't believe on giving up on your dreams...But in their case it doesn't seem like they are taking any actions therefore cancel it.

And as far as you go don't you have anything else to do then sit down and memorize my statements verbatim.

Also, I see you didn't address the portion on which I said you tried to justified your actions of breaking up with a guy instead of cheating.

Don't go off on a tangent when it comes to the convo talking about being tact. By the way look up the definition for tact and freedom of expression. I'm sorry (no I'm really not) you don't know the meaning of a word you repetitively use oh so much. This is a freedom of expression forum on the internet. Why front? I don't front in real life so why front on cyber space. Meaning I stay true to the game.


Have a great day

and trust me I'm always having a great day. By the way your little comment about a que that's always tact...well that was irrelevant. You could have said someone not a que. Because he's a que that makes it better huh? I seriously don't have time to "debate" this topic of tact back in forth with you. Because from the messages you posted so far you contradict yourself.

And on that note I'm through with the tact discussion...You can email me personally rather than waste the board's space.


[This message has been edited by PrettySqueaky (edited December 08, 2000).]

[MIDWESTDIVA]

LOL All of this smart talk from someone who has an epiphany while watching the Facts of Life. May wonders never cease.

[EspeRHO]

MIDWESTDIVA and prettypoodle6, you two are speaking the truth, and I have respect for you. I am a 21 year old woman who has never cheated on anyone, I would rather walk away from the relationship, then to cause unnecessary pain, and I know how to keep it real, cause if you were keeping it real one would not be cheating in the first place.

[prettypoodle6]

Originally posted by PrettySqueaky:
Aight check it...Number one "People in glass houses shouldn't thow stones." Meaning you already said you've talked to a guy knowing he had a girl.

Number two, by saying we were friends first and by saying they're going to break up was for conversational purposes only. But people didn't really feedback on that...Just spent a majority of the time talking about how they never cheated. Which I find incomprehensible.

Number three, by talking to a guy that you knew had a girl...yes you've cheated. You cheated on yourself.

I tell you what some broads kill me. Trying to justify things knowing that they've been through it themselves. I know that as you get older you get wiser, but sometimes people lose touch with reality(gullible.)

When I started my message, I said I never cheated on MY MAN, and that's real!

Now as far as cheating on myself, well I guess we have different ideas of cheating. I didnt cheat ON myself by talking to someone that already has a girl, but I will agree that I cheated MYSELF by settling for second best.

Now your OG question was "would you date a guy if you knew he already had a girl?" I put my situation on blast not to try to JUSTIFY anything - but to say "been there, done that, and will NEVER do it again".

From reading your posts, I get the sense that YOU are the one thats looking for justification for what you are involved (or about to be involved) in. You put the question out there... so you cant get mad when folks dont give you the response your looking for.......