Spank or not to spank?

[NinjaPoodle]

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

I believe in spankings, not beatings.

I agree with the majority who have posted so I won't repeat.

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorhors and sisterfriends,

I just left IKEA (Furniture store) and this little kid was running circles around his mother and the woman was trying to get him to be good by just talking to the three or four year old little brat! She needed to take control of the situation and spank that tail! What an annoying brat!


Serioussigma22

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally posted by SeriousSigma22
Sorhors and sisterfriends,

I just left IKEA (Furniture store) and this little kid was running circles around his mother and the woman was trying to get him to be good by just talking to the three or four year old little brat! She needed to take control of the situation and spank that tail! What an annoying brat!


Serioussigma22

Now see, all it took was THE LOOK from my mother and all of that would have been over. Of course, we(myself and my two older brothers) NEVER acted like that in public (or private.) She kept us in check. Personally, I thought she had eyes in the back of her head until I was 10 or so.

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorhor Ninjapoodle,

Who you telling about a mother having the look! I always knew never to upset my mother because she didn't play that! And she would have taken me to the restroom and let me have it for showing out in public! My five sisters and I knew better that to even think about being bad in a store, church, family gathering, in school, etc.

Serioussigma22

[SoTrue1920]

I'm starting to see a correlation. Maybe the 'cultural' belief we share that it's okay to spank a child explains why some people think it's okay to "pledge hard".

This isn't said to point fingers at anyone who believes it's okay to physically discipline children, but I just can't help drawing that parallel. For the record, I was disciplined as a child, but I don't know that it did anything other than instill a sense of fear -- not respect -- of my parents. I'm not going to be a parent, but if I were, I would never raise a hand to a child. I think that children by and large are a lot more reasonable than we give them credit for, and by hitting them we're not showing them that they deserve punishment, we're showing them that we can exert dominance and superiority over them through violence, and that violence is the best way to resolve any dispute.

[SeriousSigma22]

SoTrue1920,

I must disagree with you on this subject! Your comments about hazing correlating with disciple is a little off! I pledged during the spr. 83' and I never, never, ever put a hand or paddle to any future sorhor! And believe me I saw a lot of lines when pledging was the process. What I think is happening is some undergraduates are just making up this crazy deviant behavior because they don't feel the connection to the MIP or intake process. If parents discipline out of love instead of anger then there is nothing wrong with spanking a child for showing disrespectful and out of control behavior.

What about those children that are coming from well to do families and have hurt or killed their classmates? A lot of those children are rotten to the core, sitting in juvenile detention or being charged as adults because mom and dad didn't discipline.

Serioussigma22

[SoTrue1920]

Originally posted by SeriousSigma22
SoTrue1920,
If parents discipline out of love instead of anger then there is nothing wrong with spanking a child for showing disrespectful and out of control behavior.

Let's turn this around:

"If a pledge master disciplines out of love instead of anger, then there is nothing wrong with spanking a pledge for showing disrespectful and out of control behavior."

Or even further:
"If a slave master disciplines out of love instead of anger, then there is nothing wrong with spanking a slave for showing disrespectful and out of control behavior."

Do you see where I'm going with this? People can use all kinds of reasons to rationalize what is basically inhuman treatment of another human being. Just because it's always been that way, it doesn't mean that it always has to be that way.

Originally posted by SeriousSigma22
What about those children that are coming from well to do families and have hurt or killed their classmates? A lot of those children are rotten to the core, sitting in juvenile detention or being charged as adults because mom and dad didn't discipline.

So physical abuse of someone who is already mentally unstable is justified? People don't become murderers because they have an unsatisfying home life. People don't become serial killers because their parents didn't spank them as children. People who exhibit this kind of deviant behaviour are mentally ill - and no amount of spanking or physical discipline -- no matter if it's meted out with "love" or not -- is going to change that. If anything, it'll show an already ill person that the only way to show "love" is through pain. It'll demonstrate to them that the only way they can get their point across is through intimidation and physical violence.

[SeriousSigma22]

SoTrue1920,

I see that we are going to disagree on all points! When I was a child sometimes I deserved the discipline that my parents gave me! Let's just say that I was extremely ornery (smile)! I know their spankings did not kill me as a matter of fact they kept me from getting into trouble that might have sent me down the wrong avenues in life! I don't know what kind of discipline you are talking about, of course, if a parent is just beating a child unjustly then we are talking about child abuse and not correcting a child for misbehaving unjustly.

Second of all pledging is not about disciplining a person going through the process of becoming a member! Comparing out of control children to grown adults (Undergraduates and Graduates)becoming a member of an organization created to uplift the African American race is like comparing apples and oranges. I can only speak for my organization but pledging wasn't about hitting and beating a person. I believe that none of our founders from our perspective organizations went through any such crazy off the wall rituals and some greeks from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and the new millenium because of their lack of clear understand and self hate have incorporated such cruel measures upon perspectives. That my sister in greekdom has nothing to do with true sisterhood or brotherhood. Those are two separate categories and please let us stick with the original post! To spank or not to spank your child!

I don't think the students from Columbine, Colorado, or Springfield, Or. were mentally ill they were just a bunch of spoiled brats that were angry at the world because they didn't fit with the rest of the schools climate. Even the parents of the two boys stated that they didn't know their children used the internet to purchase weapons and plot their revenge because they were in the outgroup! I totally disagree with your spin on that assessment those children were not mentally ill. Moreover, those teenagers came from well to do families and their parents didn't withhold any material comforts from those boys. Maybe if their parents disciplined their children 13 students and a teacher might still be among us.

This is a great discussion!

Serioussigma22

[UNIQUE97]

Hello BLUEtiful SoRHOrs and sistah friends,

I do believe in spankings but not for every child. I was a child that -in my grandparents eyes (they raised me) did not need spankings. I would cry just from the lectures and having them be disappointed in me and I would not repeat the mistake. Now, every child is not like that!!! My sisters and brother got their tails whipped every other day. They were determined to do what THEY wanted to do and boy did they pay for it. Some children listen and learn faster than others. Some children are more sensitive to things than others. My two year old pushes me to the limit all the time. She is determined to have things her way(I guess most two year olds are) but I only spank her when reinforcement is needed to MAKE her UNDERSTAND that something is BAD or WRONG (Ex. playing with electrical sockets!). Since she cannot fully comprehend everything I say to her (besides Barney and Blue's Clues) I am very careful not to over do it with the spankings but I do believe in them for some children.

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by SoTrue1920
I'm starting to see a correlation. Maybe the 'cultural' belief we share that it's okay to spank a child explains why some people think it's okay to "pledge hard".

This isn't said to point fingers at anyone who believes it's okay to physically discipline children, but I just can't help drawing that parallel. For the record, I was disciplined as a child, but I don't know that it did anything other than instill a sense of fear -- not respect -- of my parents. I'm not going to be a parent, but if I were, I would never raise a hand to a child. I think that children by and large are a lot more reasonable than we give them credit for, and by hitting them we're not showing them that they deserve punishment, we're showing them that we can exert dominance and superiority over them through violence, and that violence is the best way to resolve any dispute.

Some children don't need spankings, but some need an occasional, reasonable physical indication that parents mean business. As far as my personal experience with physical hazing and its misguided acceptance (let's just call that as it is because pledging is something altogether different), when I got to college and decided to join a sorority, I reasoned that I was an adult, so my spanking days were over. I also reasoned that my parents loved me and raised me the best way they could, but they stopped spanking me when I was about ten or eleven so I d*** sure wasn't going to let someone one or two years older than me (when I was 19 or 20) hit my behind or anything else without some equally hard blows in return.

I was spanked and punished as a child, but it showed me where the boundaries lay in terms of behavior. Sometimes reason does not work with little children, and if they are not taught how to deal with authority and respect it properly, they will have problems in their adult life that a spanking pales in comparison to.


TRSimon

[NinjaPoodle]

[posted by TRSimon]
I was spanked and punished as a child, but it showed me where the boundaries lay in terms of behavior. Sometimes reason does not work with little children, and if they are not taught how to deal with authority and respect it properly, they will have problems in their adult life that a spanking pales in comparison to.


Yes, I agree very much so soRHOr

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorhors and sisterfriends,

I just finished reading the last three post and I totally agree with you all. Spanking as the all out answer that will solve every bad behavior is wrong. However, sometimes a spanking is the best thing for an out of control child.

Sorhor TRSimons thank you for the reinforcement about breaking down the difference between pledging and foolishness such as hazing. I still don't understand why grown folks would sit by and allow another person to put their hands on them. That's not sisterhood or brotherhood that just plain foolishness.


Serioussigma22

[SoTrue1920]

Originally posted by SeriousSigma22
I still don't understand why grown folks would sit by and allow another person to put their hands on them. That's not sisterhood or brotherhood that just plain foolishness.

Maybe because at some point in their life, someone (a parent or other adult, perhaps?) taught them by example that people who hit you/mistreat you do it out of love?

[SeriousSigma22]

Sisterfriend in greekdom,

I totally disagree with that statement! If a person is so desparate to belong to any greek organization that they will allow another adult to put their hands on them. Then they are joining for the wrong reasons. Membership into a sorority or fraternity is not based upon whether your parents spanked you or not! Like I stated before, every BGLOs has specific statements about hazing, which has nothing to do with becoming a member of an organization. They need to stop being a follower and start being a leader!

Serioussigma22

[Tenacious1922]

I was not spanked often as a child...probably because I did'nt try and ACT A FOOL on my parents!
My daughter is almost 7 months, and I hope that I will not have to spank her when she is older, but I do think that some childen need to be spanked, but it should be used as a last resort.

Tenacious1922