Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood

[LauGh A Lot]

I definitely agree with you Sugar and Spice. I am also very glad she wrote it because i think we can all relate with her at some point or another. It seems as though her personality changed with alcohol making her more "fun" and not shy like she typically was. Even her mom didn't like her sober shy personality. I think the main reason she is so bitter towards fraternities is b/c when she blacked out Skip raped her and she couldn't remember what they did in the morning, if she lost her virginity or not. I also think she started to not enjoy her sorority experience near the end because she mentions that more and more freshman were coming in and all they wanted to do was party while she wanted to get away from the atmosphere and sober up. she associated her friends with drinking.

[sugar and spice]

Personally, I don't believe that he did rape her. Most girls are going to feel some soreness the morning after they lose their virginity (especially if it's sloppy drunk sex and the guy's not taking any precautions to be especially careful with you). It frustrated me to read this section when she assumes that she's been date-raped when that sign seemed to imply (at least to me) that they probably hadn't had sex. It bothered me that she essentially wrote it off as date rape without even asking him what happened. The other part that rang false to me was that she seemed bitter about fraternity guys even before that event -- but then again, she seemed bitter about ALL guys even before that. This is a girl who was bitter about the opposite sex in eighth grade.

The point about her friends in the sorority partying a lot is valid, but hardly a good reason to write off her entire Greek experience. Like she says later in the book -- she needs to learn how not to confuse "seclusion" with "sobriety." But I also think that she needs to learn a drunken atmosphere around her is not responsible for her own drinking. She seems to push a lot of blame on the Greek system (or her friends, or her parents, or guys) instead of taking responsibility for it herself.

For example, when I moved OUT of my sorority house, my drinking went from one or two nights a week to four or five some weeks. Even though I was living with people who drank far less than most of my sorority sisters, I was going out far more. Who can I blame for that? Not my sorority sisters. Not the girls I was living with afterwards. Only myself.

Which leads me to another point about why it would have been an improvement if she had waited a few more years. This book reads like it was written by someone who is newly sober -- there is an extremeness about her opinions regarding alcohol. A lot of the events seemed tainted by the whole "Drinking was always bad/Alcohol is always bad" spin she put over them. The Greek system is bad because it involves alcohol, spring break is bad because it involves alcohol, Greeks are bad because they drink alcohol, athletes are bad because they drink alcohol, Chris is bad because he drinks a lot, Matt is good because he doesn't really drink a lot. As anybody who drinks knows, there is a reason why you keep going back to it -- because some nights are good and fun and you don't black out and nothing horrible happens. And honestly, the only incident in the entire book that she gave that spin was the first time she drank. I think that if she waited a while, she would begin to develop a more nuanced approach to how she thought about alcohol, and we would get more of a balanced picture in the book as well.

[sueali]

I was just curious from what the first poster said "she revealed tons of secrets". To those of you that have read the book did she reveal secrets, because no one else has mentioned this. I'm not curious to read the secrets just curious to if she did or not.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by sueali
I was just curious from what the first poster said "she revealed tons of secrets". To those of you that have read the book did she reveal secrets, because no one else has mentioned this. I'm not curious to read the secrets just curious to if she did or not.

She revealed a few: what her sorority wore for initiation, one aspect of the initiation ceremony, what they said during roll call, maybe a little bit more. Nothing particularly major -- no passwords, handshakes, meanings behind the letters or symbols or anything like that. And as I said, unlike Pledged's ritual section, she used a code name for her own sorority and several other Greek organizations. If you were a member of this particular sorority (or collect rituals), or are familiar with the Syracuse Greek system, you might be able to figure out which house she is talking about. I personally wasn't offended by it, but I'm sure there's people out there who would be.

[WCUgirl]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
This book reads like it was written by someone who is newly sober -- there is an extremeness about her opinions regarding alcohol. A lot of the events seemed tainted by the whole "Drinking was always bad/Alcohol is always bad" spin she put over them. The Greek system is bad because it involves alcohol, spring break is bad because it involves alcohol, Greeks are bad because they drink alcohol, athletes are bad because they drink alcohol, Chris is bad because he drinks a lot, Matt is good because he doesn't really drink a lot. As anybody who drinks knows, there is a reason why you keep going back to it -- because some nights are good and fun and you don't black out and nothing horrible happens. And honestly, the only incident in the entire book that she gave that spin was the first time she drank. I think that if she waited a while, she would begin to develop a more nuanced approach to how she thought about alcohol, and we would get more of a balanced picture in the book as well.

I just finished this book, it was a quick read, but I thought it was very good.

I completely agree with you on this point, S&S. She's only been sober for a year and a half (at the time she wrote the book), but yet it's obvious she still has quite a bit to figure out and needs more time to grow. Which is fine, but I'd be interested to see what her take on it would be after being sober for say, five years.

Also, as someone else pointed out, I feel there's a good chance she'll relapse. I assume she's still with Matt, and since this is her first serious ("grown-up") relationship, I feel there's a good chance it will not last forever, which could cause her to seek out old habits.