Eliminating Courting

[adpiucf]

At UCF--

The social chairmen would coordinate the social calendar of fraternity and sorority socials. It wasn't uncommon for the fraternity to come by and serenade before a highly anticipated social, or to promote a party or event.

Homecoming: Fraternities would arrange to serenade the sororities in the spring time for the following fall's homecoming. These would consist of songs, skits, roses-- each year, it was more elaborate and the week before serenades, we had guys at the house making us breakfast, painting our lion, serenading, bringing gifts, etc.

Greek Week: Pairings were matched out of a hat

ZTAngel, is this still how they're doing homecoming? They threatened for years to make it a random assignment because of the tension from the week before serenades.

[FSUZeta]

back in the day at fl. state, partners for homecoming and greekweek were drawn from a hat. however, once the pairings took place, the fraternity or sorority might go to their partner and serenade them to show that they were excited about the pairing.

[bluefish81]

At Iowa State, pairings for events decided like this, or at least they used to be:
Fraternities are partnered up for Homecoming and Greek Week, generally one large chapter and one small chapter(s).
Next, depending on the event, that determines who serenades. Fraternities serenade for Homecoming and VEISHEA and sororities serenade for GW and Varieties. (Not as many chapters elect to participate in Varts or VEISHEA so those pairings are generally one fraternity and one sorority.)

Serenades for all events are done in three rounds. For Homecoming and GW, each pairing is allowed to accept two serenades. However, the chapter doing the serenading, can only serenade one group. Then the chapter has to decide between which two groups they want to be partnered with, and the other group gets 'flushed' to the next round. Once a pairing is established, generally the pairing that picked you will 'return serenade.' For the first two rounds, serenades are done. After that, a large chunk of the pairings have been established and from there pairings are done via phone call.

When I was in school, a rule was established that for Greek Week, no pairing could accept a serenade from a sorority pairing that they had done either GW or Homecoming with in the past three years for the first two rounds. This was done in an effort to change pairings up a bit more. There used to be some 'courting' of sorts that was done ahead of time, but not to the tune of $500.

[ISUKappa]

Originally posted by bluefish81
At Iowa State, pairings for events decided like this, or at least they used to be:
Fraternities are partnered up for Homecoming and Greek Week, generally one large chapter and one small chapter(s).
Next, depending on the event, that determines who serenades. Fraternities serenade for Homecoming and VEISHEA and sororities serenade for GW and Varieties. (Not as many chapters elect to participate in Varts or VEISHEA so those pairings are generally one fraternity and one sorority.)

Serenades for all events are done in three rounds. For Homecoming and GW, each pairing is allowed to accept two serenades. However, the chapter doing the serenading, can only serenade one group. Then the chapter has to decide between which two groups they want to be partnered with, and the other group gets 'flushed' to the next round. Once a pairing is established, generally the pairing that picked you will 'return serenade.' For the first two rounds, serenades are done. After that, a large chunk of the pairings have been established and from there pairings are done via phone call.

When I was in school, a rule was established that for Greek Week, no pairing could accept a serenade from a sorority pairing that they had done either GW or Homecoming with in the past three years for the first two rounds. This was done in an effort to change pairings up a bit more. There used to be some 'courting' of sorts that was done ahead of time, but not to the tune of $500.

I loved how our serenades worked. It usually sucked trying to get people to participating if you were doing the serenading, but they were lots of fun. Return serenades were fun, too. I don't remember much "courting" going on, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. And I think the mixing worked pretty well with everything but Varts, but since not everyone participates in it, you'd eventually get the same pairings every 2-3 years or so.

I remember being in the Varts office with Opie and Couch during serenades and it was hard for the groups who had been flushed both times. I can't even imagine what GW or Homecoming would be like.

[STL Kappa]

Another thread was started pertaining to this with a different article, which is here:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...012#post993012

I had NO clue that Mizzou was one of the only school in the Big 12 to still do courting in the manner that we do... I figured everyone did it!!

I'm just not sure if this amendment (assuming it gets passed) will even change anything... in the article, they say that people do a lot of the courting under the table and often go over the $500 limit now... so who's going to stop them from doing it if this passes if they can't stop them now??

[exlurker]

A question: at schools where there's a pairing system, do sororities ever find themselves paired with a chapter (or two) that is not respectful toward women? Are there situations now and then where a sorority feels its members must be constantly on guard during the time they are paired with and working with a "dangerous" fraternity?

Just to make it clear -- I'm not talking about a so-called top tier sorority getting paired with a so-called lower tier fraternity, or vice versa. I'm thinking of the occasional reference here on GC fraternities that "can't be trusted" (versus the many that can).

[33girl]

Originally posted by exlurker
A question: at schools where there's a pairing system, do sororities ever find themselves paired with a chapter (or two) that is not respectful toward women? Are there situations now and then where a sorority feels its members must be constantly on guard during the time they are paired with and working with a "dangerous" fraternity?

Just to make it clear -- I'm not talking about a so-called top tier sorority getting paired with a so-called lower tier fraternity, or vice versa. I'm thinking of the occasional reference here on GC fraternities that "can't be trusted" (versus the many that can).

There's a lot of distance between a fraternity (or a man, for that matter) that's "not respectful toward women" (i.e. they just act like jerks) and one you feel physically unsafe with. In the case of building a float, doing Greek sing, whatever, most of the activities are in the open so I don't see where there would be a problem.

[LionTamer]

Yikes, PSUSigKap, things got complicated since my Happy Valley days. But it's probably better - we used to do socials with the same old fraternities all the time, and it was always a battle royale - there were those girls who hung out at the same 2 houses wanted to do everything with them, the social climbers, who focused on "who will help our reputation" and me, who was a little sister at TKE but chased the boys at Skull and Sigma Pi (3 places the ASAs had no interest in going).

I'm sure it's the same at most campuses - the houses the seniors like, the younger girls find uncool, boring, stupid, etc. (and vice versa)

How did you pick who you were going to do THON with? I know some pairs were more or less permanant, but not all.

[STL Kappa]

A question: at schools where there's a pairing system, do sororities ever find themselves paired with a chapter (or two) that is not respectful toward women? Are there situations now and then where a sorority feels its members must be constantly on guard during the time they are paired with and working with a "dangerous" fraternity?

I've been warned once or twice by certain guys (sometimes even members of the fraternity in question) to make sure I show up to the house with a friend or to find certain guys when I get there to stay safe... but I don't think much of that has to due with the particular fraternity being "dangerous"... some guys are just protective of their female friends... kind of like a big brother! I don't know...

As for a pairing... never experienced that. We get to know our partners so well because we spend so much time at their house pomping and stuff... plus, a lot of time the men are the ones doing the courting towards certain sororities. After you've worked so hard to be paired with a sorority, why ruin it by acting disrespectfully? Fraternity gentlemen are much to smart for that!

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

Ok I am a senior at Mizzou and this is the second time since I've been here that greek life has decided to change the rules about courting.

My freshman year honestly there were rules, but nobody knew them and no one followed them. One house had a LIVE TIGER in their skit, another house rented out a bar and took the fraternity there to perform their skit, one house had cage dancers (girls in their house were the dancers), another house sent strippers to a fraternity house, another house decorated the same fraternity with thongs. It was wild and out of control, and fun to an extent.

You could at this point still table someone on the first night of serenades, so like if 3 houses serenaded you the first night or something, you could put one aside for later, but not eliminate them totally, hard to explain, but they got rid of that.

Now though there is a budget for courting which no one, that I know of anyway, actually follows but the courting is certainly not AS scandalous as it used to be. But still, the sororities just make it less obvious than they used to. Fraternities courting sororities however has never been such a big deal, for whatever reason.

Also if you are serenading someone greek life lets you know who is competing against you and you can choose then if you'd like to go somewhere else.

I don't mind the way it is now, seems to work better than it did freshman year, but I know last year there was a sorority who went to serenade the fraternity behind them and the fraternity's president called the sorority's president and told them to not even bother coming, none of their guys were going to show up for the serenade. With the changed system, if you are only serenaded by one house on the first night of serenades you HAVE to choose that house. This fraternity is one of the larger more popular ones on campus but for some reason no one was going there except for this really small sorority. The guys were pissed and said that if they had to be with them, they just wouldn't show up or help out at all.

That's the only thing I can think of as to why they're changing the system again. But that sorority has since left campus so I don't know why they're doing it now.

Needless to say I am glad I'm graduating b/c this new way sounds really stupid to me, courting is one of the more fun things to do with serenades.

[STL Kappa]

I agree... it seems silly to me to change this. In my opinion, there really isn't a problem with "larger" sororities having to compete with "smaller" sororities... because all of the chapters are HUGE, which to me says they'd all have the same (wo)manpower to court, etc. (Smaller fraternities are put into pairings so they can compete with larger houses... so I guess it's not an issue for them.) Plus it's fun!

In on of the articles, they said the changes "are meant to eliminate the “heartbreak” some sororities feel if courting efforts do not pay off."

I think that's kind of ridiculous. My sorority was courting the same fraternity as another sorority, and the fraternity chose the other house over us. Although they are wonderful and amazing guys, we were HARDLY heartbroken over the issue...

[PhoenixAzul]

woo...none of this stuff going on over here. Unlike the NPC's, our chapters have official Brother/Sister pairings, with the exception of our Alpha Sigma Phi colony. However, these pairings are based only on a historical link between the two that was formed years and years ago, not so much about a modern day relationship between chapters. In most cases, the pairings are good, in some...not so much. But since we don't do any even with our brother fraternity, it works out pretty well. Girls against girls, guys against guys. I can't imagine coming up with 500 bucks to court guys to do homecoming with us....500 bucks would buy a new water heater!

[CutiePiPhi]

adpiucf: I go to UCF and yes, that's still how things are done here. Serenades are coming up either this Sunday or next, so things are really starting to get crazy! Boys are tagging cars, washing cars, delivering pizzas, etc.

[STL Kappa]

Just a little update... this measure did NOT pass... so courting will continue. I think that's great news, and the only thing I hope is that it will be done a little more respectfully and that panhel and IFC will keep closer tabs on who is spending what, etc.

And because the measure did not pass... we got a wonderful surprise from the AKL house... they got us blue balloons with dark blue ribbons (Kappa colors!) and wrote "AKL loves (your name here)" on them. Every girl in our entire chapter had a balloon with her name on it, and the boys put them ALL in our TV room so we'd see them as soon as we walked in the house for chapter!!

[exlurker]

Originally posted by STL Kappa
. . . . I had NO clue that Mizzou was one of the only school in the Big 12 to still do courting in the manner that we do... I figured everyone did it!! . . .

Speaking of Big 12 schools, it looks like Kansas State uses a version of random matching that takes into consideration the size of chapters. Presumably this gives the eleven Homecoming groupings approximately equal numbers of people. The pairings for Fall 2005 Kansas State Homecoming are on their Greek Affairs web site:

http://www.ksu.edu./greek/hc_pairings.htm

Worth noting, perhaps: NPHC sororities are included in the groupings, and so is one local women's group.

The overall result is that each "pairing" consists of one or two sororities and two or more fraternities. Not saying this is better or worse than the "courting" system, just different.