Needing some opinions - Page 2

ZTAngel · #16 03-01-2005, 05:12 PM

I have a question for you. Please don't take this the wrong way. I just want you to think about this for a second.

You've been on GC for a few years and you've posted a number of stories about failed relationships you've had because you believe the girl is a hooker or because she cheated on you. Your friends have had the same experience.

In my years of dating, I've only had one guy cheat on me. I'd say this is the same for many of my friends except for one. She keeps meeting these assholes who end up hurting her. She wonders why her friends have met these people who they trust and have a great relationship with but she always meets jerks.

Could it be that, for some reason, she purposely goes after people that she knows will hurt her?

Could you and your friends, maybe, be going after girls you know are no good for some reason? Maybe it's your mind's way of telling you that you're not ready for a relationship yet. There's nothing wrong with that but maybe you should be doing the dating thing for a while rather than get caught up with girls who have issues and who you know will inevitable hurt you. (except for Rachel but I think that was a fluke)

cashmoney · #17 03-01-2005, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAngel
I have a question for you. Please don't take this the wrong way. I just want you to think about this for a second.

You've been on GC for a few years and you've posted a number of stories about failed relationships you've had because you believe the girl is a hooker or because she cheated on you. Your friends have had the same experience.

In my years of dating, I've only had one guy cheat on me. I'd say this is the same for many of my friends except for one. She keeps meeting these assholes who end up hurting her. She wonders why her friends have met these people who they trust and have a great relationship with but she always meets jerks.

Could it be that, for some reason, she purposely goes after people that she knows will hurt her?

Could you and your friends, maybe, be going after girls you know are no good for some reason? Maybe it's your mind's way of telling you that you're not ready for a relationship yet. There's nothing wrong with that but maybe you should be doing the dating thing for a while rather than get caught up with girls who have issues and who you know will inevitable hurt you. (except for Rachel but I think that was a fluke)

The hooker girl wasnt mine...just to clarify that one up. And she hide that one really well for a number of years from my boy.

Well, how many guys have you seriously dated in your adult life? I'm guessing maybe 2 or 3 at the most? Am I right? The first few girls I dated in my adult life werent bad, the girls became worse the older I got. So, let me see if I understand you...you're saying its better to give up hot women who could possibly cause you problems and go for an average looking girl who you know cant get anyone hotter than you, that way they wont cheat on you and make you go crazy? Because the only good girls I know who dont cause problems are those who arent really hot or anything to brag about. Rachel was borderline between hot and good looking....and she still caused problems. She's down in Miami now hanging out with guys who run Club Space.

ZTAngel · #18 03-01-2005, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cashmoney
Well, how many guys have you seriously dated in your adult life? I'm guessing maybe 2 or 3 at the most? Am I right? The first few girls I dated in my adult life werent bad, the girls became worse the older I got. So, let me see if I understand you...you're saying its better to give up hot women who could possibly cause you problems and go for an average looking girl who you know cant get anyone hotter than you, that way they wont cheat on you and make you go crazy? Because the only good girls I know who dont cause problems are those who arent really hot or anything to brag about. Rachel was borderline between hot and good looking....and she still caused problems. She's down in Miami now hanging out with guys who run Club Space.

More than 2 or 3.

I never said anything about a hot girl vs. average girl. Just because you think that you might be better looking than her doesn't mean she won't cheat. It's all in the way you treat each other. If someone in the relationship doesn't feel that they're getting the love and respect that they deserve, they'll go somewhere else to find it regardless of however hot their SO is.

This could be why you and your friends are getting cheated on. You all might be studly or whatever you say but if you're not being respectful to your girls (stalking them, making them do stuff in the bedroom, calling them hoes, etc.), they'll go find someone who does make them feel desirable.

Coramoor · #19 03-01-2005, 05:50 PM

Quote:

In my case, I dont see it as being crazy when I go and find out everything little thing there is to know about the girl who says she wants to settle down with me. Plenty of married people keep secerts from their spouses.

I actually kind of agree with this. You definitly have to protect yourself in this day an age, especially from (as unfortunate as it sounds) someone you are going to share your life and finances with.

In the army we are given a class on how to protect our assests and credit from our spouses in the event that we go to war and our SO decides to divorce us or does something else that's fucked up.

winnieb · #20 03-01-2005, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mu_agd
I've never heard of any girl doing anything like that.

Ummm.. Hi!! Nice to meet you!!!!

Trust me... plenty of girls out there do the exact same thing these guys are doing--spying, trying to figure out the story, piecing it all together, compring stories with friends.

sugar and spice · #21 03-01-2005, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by alphagam-alum
Ummm.. Hi!! Nice to meet you!!!!

Trust me... plenty of girls out there do the exact same thing these guys are doing--spying, trying to figure out the story, piecing it all together, compring stories with friends.

Regardless of the gender of the person doing it, it's still pretty psycho.

Rudey · #22 03-01-2005, 08:08 PM

If you're as great as I am, you never have these problems.

Don't worry. One day I will write a book for all men to follow.

-Rudey

AKA_Monet · #23 03-01-2005, 09:19 PM

Cash, Sweetheart,

Why ARE you (and your boys) trying to pin down "the one" that loves to live in a bunch of crap?

My take, just date the chicks.... Don't have any steady girls... Just have numbers you need for "whenever" you need them... You already have that...

The more you try to keep tabs on the "one's who CLAIM they want a family" and they are cheating, the more you all cannot allow your lover to be set free... They must feel free...

Now, you want the "hot chicks"... Hot chicks cost... Period... And they are like hot cars... Go in and out of style... You can always get a new model for the next year... But your problem, as well as your boys, is you all are unwilling to give up that selfishness to have ANY meaningful relationship leading to marriage...

It's all about "ME, ME, ME" or "I, I, I"--I this, I that, I whatever... That is selfishness.

In a marriage, your love MUST be devoted to your WIFE...

Your all's problem is your soul is being stripped away each time you allow these spiritual vampires to infest your body (and psyche)... That is what is making you all crazy... These women are not all spiritually adept if they live as you say they live... And neither do they want to be... However, what you and your boys WANT is the spiritually trusting woman--not housewife--but the woman that KNOWS the "spin" move and the sets of nine and ONLY wants to share that with you...

How do you KNOW you have met that woman? Clean up your soul a bit (tiny bit), and the woman that is NOT interested in your looks or the life you lead--because she's been there, done that and could care less about yours, 'cuz she's already has her life together and you would only be a wonderful compliment to add to hers as well as your life--will be the one for you...

But that takes a lot of soul searching time... In the meantime, you all need another outlet of frustration... For real, tho... Y'all riding yourselves to the ground... Dayum...

winnieb · #24 03-01-2005, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Regardless of the gender of the person doing it, it's still pretty psycho.

Seems like "normal" behavior once your have been shat on by someone you love. It is normal to want to protect oneself, ones heart and soul from more pain. There are often situations that don't always allow the person to walk away-- it sounds nice to say-- "I have doubts, I am outta here" But give your heart and soul to a person, develop a life together, a family, and walking away suddenly isn't that easy. But if that gut feeling starts getting the best of you-- you NEED to do something, anything to squelch the feeling. Often that feeling only goes away after digging and answering those lingering questions. And there are ways not to get noticed digging around and ways to avoid looking like you have a mental disorder.

Cash, I would hope that you wouldn't bother with the time (or $$) keeping track of someone that you seriously aren't connected to--- if the girl you are digging dirt up on is not the girl you would committ yourself too, then don't bother. I think you all need to learn to trust-- I know it can be hard-- as hard as hell sometimes --- but if someone is worth it you need to give them a little room-- room to be themselves and prove themselves to you and your friends. I keep getting told by a few people I know that certain things should just be given time--- the simple actions of people will be made clear and they will prove themselves without them knowing it. (hope that make a little sense!)

AND you owe me some advice--- I am adding to that pm I sent the other night!

-w

smiley21 · #25 03-02-2005, 12:28 AM

craig,

Honey, you need to set your standards a little higher. Do I sense a pattern? You need to look for more the just a cute little blonde that can shake her skinny butt.

I mean, come on do you pick these women solely for having a good story to tell?
My god, even you deserve better than being screwed over every other week

Anyhow, I think you are smarter than you realize. But do not under estimate the power of a girl's manipulation.

cashmoney · #26 03-02-2005, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAngel
More than 2 or 3.

I never said anything about a hot girl vs. average girl. Just because you think that you might be better looking than her doesn't mean she won't cheat. It's all in the way you treat each other. If someone in the relationship doesn't feel that they're getting the love and respect that they deserve, they'll go somewhere else to find it regardless of however hot their SO is.

This could be why you and your friends are getting cheated on. You all might be studly or whatever you say but if you're not being respectful to your girls (stalking them, making them do stuff in the bedroom, calling them hoes, etc.), they'll go find someone who does make them feel desirable.

I quit calling girls hoes a long time ago and I only called one ex of mine bitch when referring to her when talking to her. And that was when I was 19/20/21 years old. She knew I didnt literally mean "bitch" but that I was saying it because I used that word alot even when referring to my friends. However, thats not to say I didnt make her feel desirable...I did all the time. I stroke girl's egos. I tell them things when we're out like, "Hey, look how beautiful you are....every guy in this place is checking you out" and when we're with my friends telling them about where we went for the night (or day) "Man, Rachel was the hottest woman in the whole place. She every guy there eyeing her." Now, if that doesnt make a girl feel desirable...i dont know what does.

As for the stalking thing or spying...they dont know we're doing it.

cashmoney · #27 03-02-2005, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by smiley21
craig,

Honey, you need to set your standards a little higher. Do I sense a pattern? You need to look for more the just a cute little blonde that can shake her skinny butt. I mean, come on do you pick these women solely for having a good story to tell?
My god, even you deserve better than being screwed over every other week
Anyhow, I think you are smarter than you realize. But do not under estimate the power of a girl's manipulation.

Adrian,

Girl, my standards are high. I'm starting to think, though, that men's standards and women's standards are two different things. For example, men set their standards according to how hot the girl is because they know that other men will look at her and infer how much of a stud/pimp/baller/rolmodel you are based on how hot the girl you have is. Our status on the totempole of our peers depends on how much money we make and how hot of a girl we have. If you make good money and have a hot chick....other men are going to want to be like you and look up to you. And thats what every guy wants deep down. Nobody wants to be like the guy who makes 50,000$ a year and has a fat wife. People look at men like Brad Pitt and Nick Lachay and think about how much they'd like to be like them because of the money they make and the women they have.....a lot of guys out there want to wish they could have their life. A lot of men who settle for average looking girls are doing exactly that...settling for something. And they're usually the ones who end up looking for something else later on down the line and end up having affairs. We look at it like, if you got the money and the hottest girl you've ever had....you wont want something else. The only problem with that train of thought, though, is that a lot of time when you have those two things you're giving up something else somewhere up in the mix. Thats Nick and Brad's whole problem right now......Jessica is a coke whore, read Lindsey lohan's txt mssg to paris hilton about her seeing her do coke in the bathroom. Nick wants the good wife but Jessica isnt that. Brad wants a Kid but Jenn doesnt...she's too concerned with other shit to have a kid....so, they're gettign a divorce.

One time a friend of mine told me you can't do coke and eat cookies at the same time....you'll end up vomiting. I thought to myself...."i wonder if the same applies to women, you cant have the hottest chick out there and her be the sweetest thing also." Well, one time I blew a few lines and I ate a whole box of vanilla sandwich cookies with a big glass of milk. You know what happened? I passed out. That tells me you can have the girl, the money and the personality/faithfull chick but that it depends on you, the individual. Thats why I give all these hot, naughty looking girls a chance because I feel like at some point I'm going to meet a good one. Are ya feelin me?

OtterXO · #28 03-02-2005, 12:39 PM

Okay....I have to agree with ZTAngel on this one. I don't think it has anything to do with them being hot or not...because I know a lot of very attractive girls and guys who are the nicest people in the world. The thing is...all these girls seem to bring out the same quality in all you guys. I know, the girls are hot, etc...but seriously you're digging your own grave with that shit. You act all surprised that these girls are doing exactly what they've done before...why is that shocking? If I met a guy and found out he had cheated and lied to people before me, I may give him one chance if he was really amazingly great...but probably not. I especially wouldn't let some dude lie to me, catch him in those lies and then let him convince me to give it another shot. That would just make me look like the asshole if he did it again....like, what exactly did I expect from this guy. So my point is...if you know a girl is a cheating/lying whore, don't date her. IF you choose to date her then give her one chance, if she lies/cheats/etc then you kick her ass to the curb like you should have before. If you don't do that, don't keep bitching about getting yourself into a bad situation because you're just as much to blame as she is by keeping yourself in it.
I just realized this sounds slightly harsh, but you know I have your best interests at heart...so don't get all worked up over that, k?

cashmoney · #29 03-02-2005, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mu_agd
Yes, it was hard on me, i was so hurt, but i got over it.

Ok, but would you say it scarred you? My thing is, I dont want to be scarred. So, I did the stuff I did recently inorder to protect myself from being scarred.

cashmoney · #30 03-02-2005, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OtterXO
The thing is...all these girls seem to bring out the same quality in all you guys. I know, the girls are hot, etc...but seriously you're digging your own grave with that shit. You act all surprised that these girls are doing exactly what they've done before...why is that shocking? So my point is...if you know a girl is a cheating/lying whore, don't date her.

With the exception of Billy's girl....none of us knew the girls were like that. Its not like we've went in to this knowing what a little cunts these girls are. And in my case, ken's case and Travis's case.....we still dont know if these girls cheated or not. Me in particular, I dont think she cheated....I just think she's a pathological lier and I want to bust her ass to the point where she has to quit doing that shit and doesnt have any room to lie.