Turning down a wedding invitation?

[AKA_Monet]

I hated attending weddings...

However when I got married by the Judge--no body was there except my now husband's buddies as witnesses...

Then when I had a formal ceremony with family, my mother invited all her friends instead of mine... Or her friends showed up, suddenly... My husband, failed to send his mother the invitations because he said she said that she did not want them... Regrettably, later, I found out, I should have just sent them to her, then she could have decided to either throw them away or send them...

Or I outta just EVITED the thing...

But hindsight is 20:20...

However, office politicking is what could make or break your career... I say make your own way based on your past posts about your career and migrate your way to the boss to let him or her know you know how to play this game bedda than homegirl...

And it ain't like you have to stay for the WHOLE thing... You sit through the ceremony, then you drop your gift off at the reception and leave in 30 minutes... The cake is fattening anyway... And unless you are gonna hang out with "Uncle Bob" and get drunk on the nasty champagne for a craziest toast you've every made--then hey, I'd leave in 30 minutes... I would care about the type of food they'd have to serve...

But, I am serious... Get a porno string for the chick at the shower... Or at least a kama sutra kit with the feather...

[Ideal08]

Thanks for all the responses! However, I got the invite this weekend, and I can't go. I've already made plans to help a soror celebrate her birthday (and mine!), and that trumps this a million times over.

FYI-

I can't stand the people that I work with. They are backstabbing, conniving dogs. NO ONE can be trusted, including the boss. I'd try to talk to her and everyone would know about it. It truly is a Good Old Girl Network and unfortunately, I'm not a Good Old Girl. And it wouldn't make a difference if I went or not, they would talk regardless. The office politics are ridiculous, FAR worse than any other place I've ever been, and it's the SMALLEST place I've ever worked for. Just seems backwards, y'know? Plus, based on recent happenings, I don't plan on even being here when all this goes down.

It is ALWAYS more important to me to be true to myself than the game. ALWAYS.

[SummerChild]

Soror, I don't think that you should go to either if you really can't wish her well and truly want to be there. I don't think that any of us would want someone to come to our wedding or shower if that person really wasn't feeling us. Just say that you have other plans and can't make it to either.

SC

Originally posted by Ideal08
Have you ever done this when invited by a coworker? Here's the thing... there are a total of 14 employees and only about half of us are in the DC office. If I don't go, it's going to be noticed. Well, I'm also the only Black person, so it'll really be noticed if I don't go. I don't want to go cuz I don't really like her all like that and I feel like I shouldn't be there for something so important if on the inside I'm all conflicted and can't offer true feelings of happiness and congratulations.

This is a perfect segue to the shower. We are throwing her a surprise shower here at work. I don't even wanna participate in that, either. This reminds me of that thread Bamboozled started, but after I read thru it, I realized it was different, so I started another thread.

What y'all think?

[vanda]

It's a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but just go and get it over with. Arrive right before she marches, buy a nice little trinket and leave the reception before they start the chicken dance. You know how tongues wag when you step out of the room at work. You don't want to come into work on Monday morning with awkward glances coming your way.