Rain Man: Owner of a Lonely Heart/Countdown To Matrimony

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by abaici
I had a discussion yesterday with two married co-workers and a single co-worker. One of the married co-worker's stated that we are not married because we are too picky and looking for the perfect man.

See, barely anyone said that to me when I was single... I guess they saw that when a princess walks though the door, only a prince can handle her... BTW, my husband has yet to pick me up and ride me off into the sunset...

What is wrong with pickiness? I guess the statements were made based on the descriptions you all made on the kind of fellas you would like to encounter... If so, nothing is wrong with having high expectations--but you have to reach them yourself--or exuding them yourself--a living example...

Like I said, a lot of African American men have extremely sensitive egos and like to have them stroked on several different occasions. Some of those men also have extremely low self-esteem in general... And a "powerhouse" sistah, they don't like to deal with because not only does it bruise their egos, it also terrorizes their self-esteem... Most sistas don't know this without having been married or living with brothaman...

At the same time you ain't no psychologist... You dayum sho ain't the boys mama... So you ought not have to deal with self-esteem issues when you've got to be dealing with your own... But, think about it... Most brothas that have barely assimilated into the "mainstream" culture, with all the statistics abound about brothaman, where do you think their psyches have gone??? Really??? So you have to understand that aspect about them and their logic for acting out of turn, sometimes...

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by abaici
I know people clown you alot RM (I cram to understand the hair and game show obsession ....

The basis for the obsessions, simply put, are as follows:

Hair: when I was a child, I wanted straight hair, b/c there was a variety of hair styles I saw on TV I liked that I wanted. Since my mother would not let me get my hair straightened, I would improvise. From age 13 to age 17, I would brush my hair obsessively trying to get my hair straight (it was a TWA style), and to some extent, it worked; it was more wavy rather than curly, but it was a start. When I got my hair officially straightened, I was in hog heaven, and I went to town on it.

Game shows: as a child, game shows predominated daytime television, and prime time (read: 7-8 pm EST) television. I was fascinated with the sets, lights, theme music, color schemes, etc. It just looked and screamed pure EXCITEMENT and FUN. To me, heaven resembled a game show set. When the game show craze began dying down (early 90s), it seemed that the magic and nostalgia of the genre was long gone. It wasn't until GSN and the Internet (tape trading) was introduced that the nostalgia was re-ignited. I didn't get GSN until 1999 and my first tape trade was in 2000. I once said that game shows were better than sex and when GSN and tape trading reached my life, I felt like a life-sentence convict with his first conjugal visit in 10 years, it was that invigorating.

But I seriouly digress. Thanx for the support, abaici, and I hope this helps.

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Hey, what is up with the very, skurry needs a new curl, permed out mullet, dude... That like went out in the Reagan administration...

I do not have a mullet, yall. Just a perm (redone as of Sunday night) Please see the latest entries of pics in the Look At Me thread.

Rainman, lets be honest, you want honey without the bees... You cain't be swangin' the hottest chick and you ain't flashin' major cash or looking "smoove, suave and deboner" (a husband euphemism). And it don't matta how clean you are, 'cuz there's some luser chick that lovvveddd them some former Miami Dolphins Ricky--had his kid, too...

You on the other hand, ain't swinging it like dat, dere... So, if you want the big ticketed, endowed women who wear 6 inch heels, you are gonna have to step it up a notch, or two... That's what I am talking about when I say taking risks...

The only "big-ticketed" *LOL* endowed women I would think about (heavy on the "think about") taking risks for is Toccara Jones (America's Next Top Model).

You can be your inquisitive self as much as you want. But, if you ain't footin' the bill, then you can't go where the playas go..

[scenario deleted by RM for brevity]

So, your problem is you either don't know what to do and need a caring female opinion that is not your mama's or auntie's. Or you want your hair full on matted--which is fine--but you reap what you sow... You ain't gonna get the one you look for if you refuse to take a risk and change a bit...

I have taken risks and changed, but nothing came of it; I was just a "weird nerdy boy with a nice haircut". My mentality is, "If you don't like me now, why should I change for the sake of illusionary pipe dreams that you will like me later?"

True change comes from within, not from without

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
I have taken risks and changed, but nothing came of it; I was just a "weird nerdy boy with a nice haircut". My mentality is, "If you don't like me now, why should I change for the sake of illusionary pipe dreams that you will like me later?"

True change comes from within, not from without

But when you feel somewhat bad about something (maybe you don't, ever), you can start from the outside eventually working it in...

Or beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

Well, maybe there are some sistahs that do like brotha's hair permed out... Panties do get thrown at Snoop... He perms his hair constantly...

But you said it, not me... Ladies outta like you from within... Do you really believe that's true? Just asking...

Because, I think you swingin' for the high falluntin' girls... And they have no brains because it went into their boob implants, and their turn around time is quick--they've got 5 years, tops, then it's on with the newest and latest...

It's not that I think you really truly WANT one of them... You could buy a blow up doll for that. And if you pay $20 in the "tittie bar", you can have a "lap dance" for about 5 minutes--so I've heard that is the going rate these days. But, you are a man and you have certain "needs", and any self-respecting man would like some arm "jewelry"...

What you really want is a "tight, powerhouse sistah" (based on what you've said)... And what I am telling you is you are going to have to up your game a notch or two... The easiest is to change your outsides, because I really don't think you need to change your insides--you are fine in that department... It is your outsides--UNRELATED TO YOUR HEIGHT!!! Permed out hair isn't the problem either... So I don't think it's that...

I think it is the male sexiness that you have not mastered, yet... What can I say? Other guys of GC have a bit of it... Like James, probably... Cashmoney is uber-male sexy--gets panties thrown at him all the time--way out in cyberspace... Even Rudey, with his little punk ass sometimes comes out saying sexy things... I think its mis-queueing--you are not on the same vibe, yet... You just need a woman to put you on the right vibe. This woman will not be your wife--she can't... But the next one will be... I may be off in 1 or 2 relationships. But I think you need a "vibrator"...

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
I think it is the male sexiness that you have not mastered, yet... What can I say? Other guys of GC have a bit of it... Like James, probably... Cashmoney is uber-male sexy--gets panties thrown at him all the time--way out in cyberspace... Even Rudey, with his little punk ass sometimes comes out saying sexy things... I think its mis-queueing--you are not on the same vibe, yet... You just need a woman to put you on the right vibe. This woman will not be your wife--she can't... But the next one will be... I may be off in 1 or 2 relationships. But I think you need a "vibrator"...

Oh, now I get what you are saying....

I'm a filet mignon steak with no sizzle

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
Oh, now I get what you are saying....

I'm a filet mignon steak with no sizzle

Let's just say you are a true to life Angus T-bone cooked medium to well done with no A-1 steak sauce...

And you are coming from Ruth Chris' Steak House...

Basically, your girl needs to know what she's sinking her teeth into... You know, to get your juices flowing...

[abaici]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Let's just say you are a true to life Angus T-bone cooked medium to well done with no A-1 steak sauce...

No, you are not right. LOL!

[SummerChild]

Originally posted by Rain Man
Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Hey, what is up with the very, skurry needs a new curl, permed out mullet, dude... That like went out in the Reagan administration...

I do not have a mullet, yall. Just a perm (redone as of Sunday night) Please see the latest entries of pics in the Look At Me thread.

Rainman, lets be honest, you want honey without the bees... You cain't be swangin' the hottest chick and you ain't flashin' major cash or looking "smoove, suave and deboner" (a husband euphemism). And it don't matta how clean you are, 'cuz there's some luser chick that lovvveddd them some former Miami Dolphins Ricky--had his kid, too...

You on the other hand, ain't swinging it like dat, dere... So, if you want the big ticketed, endowed women who wear 6 inch heels, you are gonna have to step it up a notch, or two... That's what I am talking about when I say taking risks...

The only "big-ticketed" *LOL* endowed women I would think about (heavy on the "think about") taking risks for is Toccara Jones (America's Next Top Model).

You can be your inquisitive self as much as you want. But, if you ain't footin' the bill, then you can't go where the playas go..

[scenario deleted by RM for brevity]

So, your problem is you either don't know what to do and need a caring female opinion that is not your mama's or auntie's. Or you want your hair full on matted--which is fine--but you reap what you sow... You ain't gonna get the one you look for if you refuse to take a risk and change a bit...

I have taken risks and changed, but nothing came of it; I was just a "weird nerdy boy with a nice haircut". My mentality is, "If you don't like me now, why should I change for the sake of illusionary pipe dreams that you will like me later?"

True change comes from within, not from without

RainMan, here's an idea - forget everyone else in the whole world. Leave the past in the past, stop worrying about how your mother wouldn't let you get a perm, stop worrying about whether women like the perm or not and therefore you must rebel against them - and just focus on the present and the future, and WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART. Do you *still* want to wear a perm or is that what you are doing in stiff rebellion to everyone (your mother, women who don't like it)? If you do, then do and let that be the end of it. If you don't, then get rid of it and stop living for other people. Whether you know it or not, if you act based upon what someone did or didn't let you do in the past or based on whether someone will or won't like your hair today, you are being controlled - even if you profess rebellion to all control. Your rebellion is the manifestation of the control.

Whew! Alright, the psychology lesson is over.

Have a good night RM,
SC

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by SummerChild
RainMan, here's an idea - forget everyone else in the whole world. Leave the past in the past, stop worrying about how your mother wouldn't let you get a perm, stop worrying about whether women like the perm or not and therefore you must rebel against them - and just focus on the present and the future, and WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART. Do you *still* want to wear a perm or is that what you are doing in stiff rebellion to everyone (your mother, women who don't like it)? If you do, then do and let that be the end of it. If you don't, then get rid of it and stop living for other people. Whether you know it or not, if you act based upon what someone did or didn't let you do in the past or based on whether someone will or won't like your hair today, you are being controlled - even if you profess rebellion to all control. Your rebellion is the manifestation of the control.

Whew! Alright, the psychology lesson is over.

Have a good night RM,
SC

SummerChild, you and I are actually on the same wavelength as to what I am trying to make a point on, we are just not quite

===========>here<=========== yet:

I am in essence doing what I am doing, and not really caring what anyone else says or thinks; the perm is still there, and I still love it.

My point on getting rid of it is that I would only get rid of it if I was in a committed relationship with a woman and she absolutely despised it and insisted that I get my hair cut; I would then get rid of it to be a blessing to her. Thereby, I would be sacrificing/forsaking something I really liked and enjoyed for the benefit of her happiness and to be a blessing to her, not because I was "living for other people"

Your post was on the right track; it just indicated the wrong motive for why I would've gotten rid of it.

Thanx for the psychology lesson

Have a good one.

[SummerChild]

Oh! I got it. I hear it and think that that would be very thoughtful.
SC

Originally posted by Rain Man
SummerChild, you and I are actually on the same wavelength as to what I am trying to make a point on, we are just not quite

===========>here<=========== yet:

I am in essence doing what I am doing, and not really caring what anyone else says or thinks; the perm is still there, and I still love it.

My point on getting rid of it is that I would only get rid of it if I was in a committed relationship with a woman and she absolutely despised it and insisted that I get my hair cut; I would then get rid of it to be a blessing to her. Thereby, I would be sacrificing/forsaking something I really liked and enjoyed for the benefit of her happiness and to be a blessing to her, not because I was "living for other people"

Your post was on the right track; it just indicated the wrong motive for why I would've gotten rid of it.

Thanx for the psychology lesson

Have a good one.

[starang21]

Originally posted by Rain Man
Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Hey, what is up with the very, skurry needs a new curl, permed out mullet, dude... That like went out in the Reagan administration...

I do not have a mullet, yall. Just a perm (redone as of Sunday night) Please see the latest entries of pics in the Look At Me thread.

Rainman, lets be honest, you want honey without the bees... You cain't be swangin' the hottest chick and you ain't flashin' major cash or looking "smoove, suave and deboner" (a husband euphemism). And it don't matta how clean you are, 'cuz there's some luser chick that lovvveddd them some former Miami Dolphins Ricky--had his kid, too...

You on the other hand, ain't swinging it like dat, dere... So, if you want the big ticketed, endowed women who wear 6 inch heels, you are gonna have to step it up a notch, or two... That's what I am talking about when I say taking risks...

The only "big-ticketed" *LOL* endowed women I would think about (heavy on the "think about") taking risks for is Toccara Jones (America's Next Top Model).

You can be your inquisitive self as much as you want. But, if you ain't footin' the bill, then you can't go where the playas go..

[scenario deleted by RM for brevity]

So, your problem is you either don't know what to do and need a caring female opinion that is not your mama's or auntie's. Or you want your hair full on matted--which is fine--but you reap what you sow... You ain't gonna get the one you look for if you refuse to take a risk and change a bit...

I have taken risks and changed, but nothing came of it; I was just a "weird nerdy boy with a nice haircut". My mentality is, "If you don't like me now, why should I change for the sake of illusionary pipe dreams that you will like me later?"

True change comes from within, not from without

enough eligible women in this world. someone's bound to like you.

[BlueReign]

What a twist and turn this has taken. Too funny! RainMan if I met you (and I'm serious too) I think we'd be good friends and it could "evolve". But I'm already taken.

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by BlueReign
What a twist and turn this has taken. Too funny! RainMan if I met you (and I'm serious too) I think we'd be good friends and it could "evolve". But I'm already taken.

*Rain Man drops his head and walks offstage dejected*

Naw, seriously, BlueReign, thank you for the compliment; that was so sweet of you.

[Honeykiss1974]

Dag Rainman, you have your own thread!

But anyway, I'm writing this all to say that no matter if you have a bald head, fade, perm, or even a even a rainbow colored clown wig on your head, if God intends for you to have a wife, she will be EXACTLY what you need and love you for you - perm and all.

From working in healthcare, there is one thing I know and that is looks are fleeting and can be gone in a blink of eye. I've seen the photographs of once physically beautful people scarred beyond recognition due to burns, illness and any host of other ailments. And let me tell you - it takes more than the love based on how someone looks to keep it together. Yes, I know physical attraction is probably what initially will cause someone to even give you the time of day, but it does not guarentee anything - not happiness, not a long lasting relationship, nothing.

One thing God is CONSTANTLY teaching us is to not only wait on His time, but to seek our what TRULY is important when seeking a wife? So regardless if she's from the US, African, the islands, etc. are you truly seeking God's definition of a wife (I say that because I know you are a Christian man ). Notice how God never mentions how she looks.

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
(Proverbs 31:10-31)

[Rain Man]

I know that I am in my season for finding a wife; it has been mentioned to me quite frequently over the last few weeks.

Thank you for referring me to Proverbs 31; it has been a while since I read that; I will need to revisit that sometime this week.

All I can say now is that 2005 will be the year that I will reap the harvest and partake of the fruits of God's labor.