Brainy women have trouble finding men

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Smartblonde-
Old age??? you are not old

That part was supposed to the comic relief.......

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by James
A high IQ can be a hinderance for a man as well. Again I think it comes down to who adept his social skills are . . . if he has a habit of speaking pendantically and "talking over the head" of his listener, he is likely to intimidate.

Intimidate, no. ANNOY the hell out of, yes. The superior attitude is disgusting if you ask me. Do you men realize that acting like that usually just gives us something to laugh about when you finally leave?

I had a date with a guy (blind date sort of thing) who is an engineer and higher on the IQ level and I found him to be so condescending. He was in a Fraternitiy at Ohio St and couldn't understand why I would still want to be involved. I got the distinct impression that he thought less of me because I was involved with Gamma Phi, got manicures and has season football tickets.

I agree with the comment carol made. If a guy expects me to act and talk like an airhead who enjoys nothing but shopping and knows nothing about sports, he is SORELY mistaken. I'm more likely to talk about the latest ball game than the newest fashion.

[XOMichelle]

Did this study take into consideration people's choices? They just talk about frequency. I doubt all these women want to get married.

But I have to say I've had it happen to me. I can't tell you how many times I've had men literally walk away after I tell them where I went to school. It happens so often I've gotten used to it.

[AKA_Monet]

I think it is more of a thing like James says--emotional quotient (EQ), than just IQ for the desire of being with someone...

I hate to say it, but the Brits are rather entrenched in their Victorian traditions of dating, although they themselves rarely practice... Otherwise, how could "Bridget Jones" be written?

I think they often compete with the free love displayed by the Scandinavians, French, Spainairds and the Italians... It is okay to have a lover, and a spouse... But don't gloat on that too much...

If anything the Americans are more hung up on this than the Brits themselves...

There are reasons why societies want both men and women highly educated... Just look at how it is done in Japan, China and other well to do Pacific Rim countries... Then just make a correlation to the oppression of women in 3rd world nations and the care of their children... Ignorant with low IQ women has strong implications of the poverty of children...

I have yet to see high IQ and intelligent women have their children suffer and not have a spouse in the mix...

The bimbo thing is a Pornucopia Hollywood fantasy... Only in the movies does a dumbo woman get a good man...

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
I think it is more of a thing like James says--emotional quotient (EQ), than just IQ for the desire of being with someone...

I hate to say it, but the Brits are rather entrenched in their Victorian traditions of dating, although they themselves rarely practice... Otherwise, how could "Bridget Jones" be written?...

I sort of disagree with this. Brit's are not hung up in old fashioned ways as you might believe. You'll find that they can be very arrogant and carry themselves with an air of superiority, but they are not prudes.

Also, this question had me thinking about a friend of mine. One night he was complaining about his girlfriend at the time and how she never took an interest in the things he liked, and couldn't even pretend to care about his interests, etc. She was only concerned with herself. She was only interested in dating him because he was supporting her lazy/no job a$$ and her three kids, none of which were his. I told him he needed to find a girl who wanted to be with him FOR HIM NOT and not because she needed someone to support her financially. I told him he needed someone independent. He said he couldn't date anyone who was too independent because he was afraid that she wouldn't need him.
Maybe some guys are not necessarliy intimidated by a woman's intelligence, but rather they are afraid if a woman is intelligent she is also too independent and won't need him and maybe some men are just afraid of not being needed.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Maybe some guys are not necessarliy intimidated by a woman's intelligence, but rather they are afraid if a woman is intelligent she is also too independent and won't need him and maybe some men are just afraid of not being needed.

Exactly.........

[James]

One of the top ten schools? Men don't assume you are bright we just think you might be a dork. j/k

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Did this study take into consideration people's choices? They just talk about frequency. I doubt all these women want to get married.

But I have to say I've had it happen to me. I can't tell you how many times I've had men literally walk away after I tell them where I went to school. It happens so often I've gotten used to it.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Did this study take into consideration people's choices? They just talk about frequency. I doubt all these women want to get married.

But I have to say I've had it happen to me. I can't tell you how many times I've had men literally walk away after I tell them where I went to school. It happens so often I've gotten used to it.

Are you sure it's the school? It might not be the school.

-Rudey

[EPTriSigma]

I can understand the logic behind the thought. Many men are intimidated by an educated (especially in math and science), independent, strong woman. As a science major I have found that most men I meet try to make themselves come off in someway smarter than I am. They try to establish their educational dominance by trying to prove me wrong. In doing so they only prove their immaturity (which is not attractive). For this reason most men my age drive me nuts. I have found that the best ideas come through colaboration not competition. I am going to throw out a cheesey line, "we work better when we work together". I love working in research teams.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I sort of disagree with this. Brit's are not hung up in old fashioned ways as you might believe. You'll find that they can be very arrogant and carry themselves with an air of superiority, but they are not prudes.

I don't think the Brits are prudish... But I do know that some of them--not all--but some, have some old-fashioned ideas about dating...

I just think that most of the British women have their pick of the litter... It's some of the British men that seem somewhat out there--and I am not talking about true Londoners, but some of the Northerner's, like in Sheffield... Because I really had a good time with the Scots and the Irish--so they aren't the problem... It's the "twits" you know...

And the Lady Londoneers... Whoohooo, they were snobby to all Northern Brits... So that's why they probably get played so bad, 'cuz dudes get tired of being cut down all the time--'specially when there are crazy American Women runnin' around all over the place and don't let them be from Southern California... Worse than a 'hooligan...

That's what I noticed when I was there a year ago...

Or maybe the Brits are just "slow to advance in the free love department"...

Or there's no such thing as McDonald's in most of England... But there's Burger King... Go figure...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by EPTriSigma
I can understand the logic behind the thought. Many men are intimidated by an educated (especially in math and science), independent, strong woman. As a science major I have found that most men I meet try to make themselves come off in someway smarter than I am. They try to establish their educational dominance by trying to prove me wrong. In doing so they only prove their immaturity (which is not attractive). For this reason most men my age drive me nuts. I have found that the best ideas come through colaboration not competition. I am going to throw out a cheesey line, "we work better when we work together". I love working in research teams.

I am glad to see you like research... I do too. But as you get higher in your field, men start to harp of women who pursue a math or science career... Especially one that they perceive as attractive...

So how do you defend yourself with buttwipes in science? Make sure you know your stuff...

And remember, they are men and they do look... So you can use those items to your advantage sometimes, but use them wisely...

Remember most guys in science are geeks. So once you understand that, then you can befriend them better and have them on your side when you need them...

I have a Ph.D. in Molecular Biology... That's why I am telling you. I hope you pursue and advance degree, too!

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
So how do you defend yourself with buttwipes in science? Make sure you know your stuff...

This applies to everything . . . Look, some of you are so caught up in your own independence (which is great) that you've taken to sweeping generalizations that simply may not be acccurate.

I've found that IQ and EQ (as AKA_Monet wisely put it) don't necessarily correlate very often - so when I'm seeking out someone to date, I'm looking for an emotional intelligence first, then an intellect. I don't need to discuss the finer points of string theory over drinks, but there will most likely be a time I need to discuss relationship issues. This is not to abase or somehow deny intelligent women - trust me, that's pretty cool no matter what - but rather to show that many factors come into play beyond what we've pointed out here.

Know your stuff . . . whether you're arguing sports, game theory, world events, or the direction of a relationship. Your masters in electrical engineering is pretty meaningless when the only level on which we can communicate is that of the text book - and this applies to the dudes as well, regardless of the standard.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by KSig RC
This applies to everything . . . Look, some of you are so caught up in your own independence (which is great) that you've taken to sweeping generalizations that simply may not be acccurate.

I've found that IQ and EQ (as AKA_Monet wisely put it) don't necessarily correlate very often - so when I'm seeking out someone to date, I'm looking for an emotional intelligence first, then an intellect. I don't need to discuss the finer points of string theory over drinks, but there will most likely be a time I need to discuss relationship issues. This is not to abase or somehow deny intelligent women - trust me, that's pretty cool no matter what - but rather to show that many factors come into play beyond what we've pointed out here.

Know your stuff . . . whether you're arguing sports, game theory, world events, or the direction of a relationship. Your masters in electrical engineering is pretty meaningless when the only level on which we can communicate is that of the text book - and this applies to the dudes as well, regardless of the standard.

Hey KSig RC--

I agree with your statements. In general, one has to know his or her stuff.

And I think that where SOME younger women get turned off in science is at the elementary-middle school years. Some of that has been clearly documented. And it has very little to do with a woman's ability to grasp scientific concepts. It seems it has to do with her surrounding support system and environment...

Read explanations in your general chemistry and physics textbooks on various laws and theories and how they are explained... Many of them are explained from a purely "male" perspective... Such as, if an engineer had 2 flanges to attach to a RFPA, etc...

Most young girls are barely exposed to those kinds of things... I am even amazed when my husband, a very smart scientist and veterinarian, explains some things to me I find extremely "male identified"...

It is my theory that many women scientist become successful in their field because they have found a way to either manuveur through such a predisposed scientific system (epistemology), remained elusive and ignored the simple-minded statements encountered while going through their fields, or were just that smart, that intelligent that is just didn't matter what folks said to them...

Many women I know who are in science do downplay their appearance. They don't wear make up, they barely dress up. Most women M.D.'s either wear scrubs or "pant suits" but are not wearing the fancy-smancy St. John Knits to work... And even the current lady Nobel Laureate in Medicine and Physiology, Dr. Linda Buck, came out looking extremely haggard and stressed and she should be blasting away by looking good...

This to me is disheartening. And a few of my fellow women collegues in my Ph.D. program were the one's the keyed me into this observation...

And personally, I think of myself one of the attractive ladies... And when I choose to dress up, and do a little revelation--even though I may disagree with it for personal integrity--I do get a lot of help from men, my experiments would get done for me, magically... That's why they call these things the "wonderbra"...

So it is hard for a woman to pursue science EQUALLY to a man in this society... But, I don't know how it is seen in other countries because most of my Chinese women colleagues are creditialed scientists, too... Go figure...

[XOMichelle]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
That's why they call these things the "wonderbra"...

Oh that's a hoot. AKA_Monet, you are awesome! I promise to wear wonderbras when I get my MD ;-)

[EPTriSigma]

Amen girls. Do you remeber the one talking barbie that said something along the lines of, "Math is tough". That definitly sent the wrong message to young girls.

Our sorority started a community service project in which we hang out with 5th grade girl scouts once a month for a few hours. We do the typical arts and crafts type stuff but we also have time devoted to math and science. I think it is absolutly essential to build a strong math and science foundation early on.

I to have read a lot revolving around the area of women and science and you are right on key. While I am only and undergrad, I am one of few females in my program. What also has become interesting to me, is the ratio of women who start out with the intention of a math or science degree to those who actually complete their degrees.

I give you a lot of credit for achieving your Ph.D.. It is encouraging to hear from women who have gone on to do it. I would love to obtain mine someday.