table manners

[Taualumna]

I think proper table manners of various cultures should be taught. You never know when you're going to be doing international business and invited to dinner somewhere. You don't want to be known as the ignorant foreigner. What's worse is you don't want to be the ignorant foreigner who is supposed to be from that culture (it's possible to be, say Chinese America or Chinese Canadian and not know all the proper rules)!

[opaldragon]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I think proper table manners of various cultures should be taught. You never know when you're going to be doing international business and invited to dinner somewhere. You don't want to be known as the ignorant foreigner. What's worse is you don't want to be the ignorant foreigner who is supposed to be from that culture (it's possible to be, say Chinese America or Chinese Canadian and not know all the proper rules)!

I think that this is only relevent if you're aware you're going to be dealing with those cultures. More often than not, you will be made aware of who you're going to be dealing with if you're going on a business dinner so there will be preperation for that.

On the general note of table manners, civility is key. Know how to act in the proper environment. You can't expect someone to act the same way at a nice sit-down dinner as one would at a casual picnic lunch. Actions should be appropriate to the environment and situation.

[LightBulb]

We don't have a house, but we do share an etiquette tip each week.

I'm 19, and while I do not generally fuss at my Greek/non-Greek friends for most table manner mistakes (like setting the knife backwards on the table), I do occasionally for some big ones (please don't wear a baseball cap at the dinner table!).

A good guideline to being a lady or a gentleman is this:
A lady or a gentleman tries to make others feel at ease. This does not mean being a doormat to company; basically, it means that a lady or a gentleman does not bring up uncomfortable, inappropriate, or hurtful subjects around guests.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by opaldragon
I think that this is only relevent if you're aware you're going to be dealing with those cultures. More often than not, you will be made aware of who you're going to be dealing with if you're going on a business dinner so there will be preperation for that.

On the general note of table manners, civility is key. Know how to act in the proper environment. You can't expect someone to act the same way at a nice sit-down dinner as one would at a casual picnic lunch. Actions should be appropriate to the environment and situation.

Depending on where your family's from, it's possible that you aren't going to be aware of some rules because it's generally ASSUMED that you do. This, of course, wouldn't be the case in a business environment, since everyone is expected to know. However, if you're going to be meeting your boyfriend/girlfriend's family, and they are more traditional than yours, you could very well be embarassing yourself for not "knowing".

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I think proper table manners of various cultures should be taught.

Absolutely not. There isn't enough time in the day to do this. People are joining a GLO, not attending two universities, full time, at the same time. If you want to learn about different cultures, you can take classes about different cultures at your university.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
Absolutely not. There isn't enough time in the day to do this. People are joining a GLO, not attending two universities, full time, at the same time. If you want to learn about different cultures, you can take classes about different cultures at your university.

Proper table manners shouldn't be taught for formal dinners within your GLO, but also for reasons beyond that. Business programs sometimes teach table manners just in case you are invited to dinner in say, India or Japan, for example. Also, what if you are invited to a sister/brother's house for dinner over vacation? Say that sister/brother is Korean. In any case, the unabridged versions of Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt (latest editions) do deal briefly with other cultures, I'm pretty sure.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Proper table manners shouldn't be taught for formal dinners within your GLO, but also for reasons beyond that. Business programs sometimes teach table manners just in case you are invited to dinner in say, India or Japan, for example. Also, what if you are invited to a sister/brother's house for dinner over vacation? Say that sister/brother is Korean. In any case, the unabridged versions of Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt (latest editions) do deal briefly with other cultures, I'm pretty sure.

And which cultures will you teach to a large group of women, with widely varying interests and backgrounds? There isn't even anything such as a singular culture of many nations. Culture in New York and Charleston are very different, and there aren't even any significant linguistic differences. This is a logistical issue. It isn't logistically possible to teach, in a useful and memorable way, the varying ettiquette of North American nations, and you want to add in Asian nations?

If you don't believe me, try to implement this in your Alpha Gam chapter. Be involved for two years, then step back. It will then either evolve into something different, but manageable, or it will simply die out within a few more years. Guaranteed.

[kddani]

the purpose of GLOs isn't to prepare you for international business transactions.

Perhaps if you're a business fraternity like AKPsi that might be interesting programming to have, but it's not really all that appropriate for a GLO really. Perhaps if you had sisters of a certain culture and wanted to teach etiquette for that culture, that could be both interesting and useful. But I didn't join a sorority to learn how to properly eat dinner in Japan.

There are 1000s of cultures in the world.

Besides that, very few young people know and understand etiquette for their own culture. Not appropriate to worry about other cultures before your own!

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
And which cultures will you teach to a large group of women, with widely varying interests and backgrounds? There isn't even anything such as a singular culture of many nations. Culture in New York and Charleston are very different, and there aren't even any significant linguistic differences. This is a logistical issue. It isn't logistically possible to teach, in a useful and memorable way, the varying ettiquette of North American nations, and you want to add in Asian nations?

If you don't believe me, try to implement this in your Alpha Gam chapter. Be involved for two years, then step back. It will then either evolve into something different, but manageable, or it will simply die out within a few more years. Guaranteed.

The most important thing is to tell people in your chapter that you go from the "outside in" and how to set a proper table. Very rarely are you going to have a five course dinner at the chapter house as seen in, say Tiffany's Table Manners for Teenagers. Most likely, it will be three courses (not including the sorbet or cheese course, that is...), with a fish fork/knife replacing a dinner fork/knife if you decide to have fish instead of meat or vegetarian. I'm surprised to hear that so many people haven't been taught these things. I thought that is was pretty much common sense to know not to slurp (even if you're from a culture where slurping is okay...(my grandmother says that it's okay in many Asian cultures, but still not "lady-like", so I don't do it.), not to chew with your mouth open or loudly, not to put your elbows on the table, reach across, etc! I guess that's why I think time should be spent learning about other cultures, at least the cultures that are represented in your house or cultures that have readily available cuisine in your town.

ETA: Why are we only talking about table manners? You can have perfect table manners, and yet, not write thank you notes or are rude to the host/hostess and/or other guests.

[opaldragon]

Originally posted by Taualumna


ETA: Why are we only talking about table manners? You can have perfect table manners, and yet, not write thank you notes or are rude to the host/hostess and/or other guests.

We are discussing table manners because the thread is entitiled 'table manners'.

[kddani]

Originally posted by Taualumna
[B] I guess that's why I think time should be spent learning about other cultures, at least the cultures that are represented in your house or cultures that have readily available cuisine in your town.

Why should this be required of GLOs? What does it have to do with the purpose of GLOs, with the exception of perhaps multicultural GLOs? Our collegiates are already programmed out the wazoo, that's one of the number one complaints from chapter members.

My job will likely never require me to go to a foreign country and conduct a business deal. While it would be interesting to learn what the proper etiquette of another culture (particularly b/c I do love learning that kind of thing), not everyone has the interest, nor do they have the time! That time could be better spent doing things that are more productive and that are more useful.

[kappaloo]

Re: Foreign Customs...

Should be taught? No. My god, many chapters have a hard enough time getting through all the required teachings each year that to add in another frivolous requirement is silly.

However, I do think this is an excellent topic for an optional workshop. It would fit in well if a chapter was doing a term focusing on business etiquette.

[Tom Earp]

Why should this not be taught in GLOs while you are in school?


Give it a rest, learn to be acceptable!

Look like a slob, act like a slob!

[kddani]

after your microwave thread you shouldn't be calling anyone a slob!!!

[DeltAlum]

As Erik said, this was something taught by the Housemother, and one of the things I liked most about the Fraternity.

Not that some of it may have slipped over the years, I'm still very comfortable with which fork to use.