Amount of Time before He proposed?

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by James
Groan . . . The One, in capitals . . . someone keep me from spewing . . .

What???

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by texas*princess
I think for a "minimum" time it would greatly vary depending on the people.

WHat about a "maximum" time? I mean in a hypothetical world if a couple had been dating for YEARS... and they both say they want to get married someday, but neither really do anything to get to that point (of getting engaged and married) is there a certain time when one of them would just be better off finding someone that won't take 547 years to propose?

If there one person who wants to be married, then there should be a "max" that the person puts on the other "exclusively" dating person... But it depends on what works for the couple. Because if one person asks for the other to "ante up", then the other could call the bluff or both will be going their separate ways...

How long one should wait depends on how well that person knows himself or herself... How long are they willing to wait when they know this person is may or may not love them... I dunno... But I know after I was in the hospital, I no longer had time for fools and running the streets...

[ISUKappa]

He bought the ring after we'd been dating a year. He waited another 6 months to propose, so about 18 months total.

My parents met in October, were engaged in April and married in July (within one calendar year). They celebrated 35 years this summer.

My paternal grandparents met in July, were engaged by December and married in February (again, within one calendar year). They celebrated 63 years together before my grandpa died.

It all depends on the couple.

[Munchkin03]

Yes, it absolutely depends on the couple.

It also, to some extent, depends on the age and experience of the couple in question. If you're 19 and have been together 3 months and this is your first relationship, the odds against your marriage's success are dim. On the other hand, most of the people I know who had less than 6 months dating before marriage and are still together had a considerable amount of experience both in life and relationships.

As you get older, it simply gets easier to separate the wheat from the chaff in looking for a partner.

Regarding a maximum time, I don't think there really is one if there is a real commitment, especially if you're dealing with students (I'm speaking of medical and graduate students) who want to be at the very least financially stable before starting a family. I have friends in those situations who are together 8-10 years before getting married.

[MsCongeniality3]

Actually, believe it or not, my boyfriend is in his first relationship and he is 25. I am 21 and have dated around and know a specific type of person I am looking for, since I have had a significant amount of relationships, however none were longer than 6 months due to several reasons. So for me, even though I am young, I just want to skip the bullsh*t. From what I heard from him, he wanted something long term.

I was just curious because the only person I know in my 21 years of life that got married was a friend and she was engaged after 3 months and a wedding around a year later.

[GeekyPenguin]

One of my sisters got engaged in 10 months. Another one got engaged in 8 years. I think a LOT of it has to do at the age where you meet - my parents had been dating for nearly 10 years when they eloped, but they also met in high school, so it's not like they could have up and gotten married then.

[angelic1]

I agree with you Munchkin03..

I dated my previous boyfriend for four years and it got to the point where we should get married or go our seperate ways, so we went our seperate ways. I was just never 100% sure with it. We talked about marriage issues, but never really of us getting married.

My current boyfriend just got out of a three year relationship where his ex started putting pressure on him about getting married and he didnt see it happening. So he left the relationship.

Now we have only been together for a little over three months and I think we have talked more about marriage then I ever did in my last relationship. That doesnt mean we are going to get engaged right now, I actually dont see it happening til this coming summer just with timing for us with other things going on.

[AGDee]

First husband: He proposed after we dated for 3 years, but we met as sophomores in college, so his proposal came just before graduation, when he had money, and we were about to embark on our careers (logical timing). The engagement was more than a year and a half (he had proposed in September, we were graduating in December and wanted to marry in May, so we waited until the next May because we had to get jobs and then plan). The marriage lasted (drum roll) 14 months.

Second husband: We met in Feb. '91. We had been dating for 6 months when he decided it was time to look at rings. We looked at rings and he bought one in September '91. He held on to it until the following June '92. I had told my best friend at work that I was going to break things off because if he hadn't proposed by now, we just weren't right for each other. He let me go through the whole break up speech and then pulled my ring out of his pocket and said "What am I going to do with this then?". He was planning on proposing that night. We bought a house in October '92 (which I lived in) until our wedding the next August '93. That marriage lasted 7 years.

As you get older, I think it takes less time to know what you want and who is good for you. I can usually tell by the first date that there is something about him that I can't deal with. I wouldn't get married again no matter what the circumstance... I'd love one of those 30 years of dating relationships, but men at my age all seem to want to get married. (yes, that reverses over time!)

Dee

[trojangal]

Mr. trojangal and I had our first date on April 16, 1995...it was Easter and my birthday, and he wasn't really aware of it being either. We had actually been "talking" for about 3 months...he worked at a local bagel shop around the corner from my apt. that I frequented when I walked my dog in the mornings. I would usually stop by, pick up a bagel for breakfast, and we'd chat for a little bit. AFter that, things picked up speed.

We talked around the idea of marriage for a LONG time; he had some issues with past relationships, but time and patience allowed us to work though them. We both knew each other, and we were in a serious committed relationship.

After being together for 3 years, I was really beginning to think about where it was going...at 3 1/2 years to the day of our first day he proposed to me at Arman's in Birmingham. We married in July of 1999

so...4 years, 3 months, 8 days..

My parents met the summer of 1969--married in October 1969. They actually eloped...they got married when Dad took her to meet his parents in NY. Dad was in the military, and they thought that he was going to be shipped overseas. Hehehe..they didn't tell my mom's parents that they had gotten married until about a month later when they were all together at Thanksgiving. This past year was their 35th year of being married.

My grandparents ( mom's parent's) were a WWII marriage...they met in spring of 1943 and got married in July of 1943. They had 58 years together before my grandfather died..he lived long enough to see his last grandchild get married and to see his first great-child, our little girl, in July of 2001. We lost him on August 2001.

[James]

Well if you are posting this I would say you have engagement on the brain.

Not to make you paranoid or anything, but beware, guys can smell that kind of stuff and it makes us highly uneasy

Originally posted by MsCongeniality3



P.S. I am not looking for an engagement but hope that it will happen someday.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by MsCongeniality3
I got a question. My boyfriend feels there should be a certain amount of time before proposing to someone.

I imagine his "certain amount of time" is longer than 2 months.

My advice? Focus on finishing your education.

[MsCongeniality3]

Excuse me, I am focused on finishing my education. That is why I am a senior. I wasn't wanting him to propose today tomorrow next week or even anything soon. All it was is a question on how long was it before guys proposed to their girls. The reason was I thought my friend got engaged way too soon, his brother was engaged in 6 months, etc. Not because I am wanting to be engaged.

[RxyChrldr]

He proposed after 8 months, and we got married after a year and a half.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Dusty and I have been dating for 3 years and 3 months...he just bought my diamond last night ( WHEE!!!!!!!! ) However, he says it'll be after Christmas for me to get it. So, it'll be a little after 3 years til he proposed.

I agree with the above people about the different amounts for different couples. *nods* Around here proposals happen after normally a year.

[cash78mere]

we've been together almost 13 months and talk about it all the time. it'll probably happen within the next 6 months....i hope!