Down Low Brothas

[DirectorDST99]

Kim, who is the author of B-Boy Blues?

[CrimsonTide4]

James Hardy

[candygirl]

Originally posted by DELTAQTE:
One thing we always argue about though is if being oppressed as a gay person is the same as the oppression of blacks. I told my friends heck no it isn't, they disagree. Anyone care to voice an opinion?

QTE

There's a yes and a no to my answer. In the aspect of gay people dealing with stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination I feel that the oppression is the same. On the other hand I feel that the two are totally different and I'm kind of upset that your friends would even compare black people and gay people. I really didn't want to bring the bible into this discussion but I have to. Homosexuality is a sin. Being black is not. The two should never be compared when it comes in this aspect. I truly believe that people aren't born gay and that they can overcome the urges to be homosexual. All it takes is prayer. On can not change the fact that they are African American.

I've been trying to hold out on this discussion because it kind of hits home for me. It seems that there are a lot of gay people on my campus and a lot of people who are hiding there sexual identity. Guys that we least expect to be bisexual, are. My friends and I are scared to date anyone because we don't know who they really are. This topic is scary and it's serious. We as women would love for these men to be honest, but they have to be honest with themselves first. Half of them are confused, they have identity problems, they sleep with a lot of women to cover up the fact that they are gay, and some truly believe that aren't gay. The whole idea upsets me because just when you think you know someone you get slapped in the face with issues like this.

[kiml122]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4:
James Hardy

CT4,

Thanks for the author name because I could not for the life of me remember who wrote the book.




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Holla - 2001
KL

[Tanzanite]

Originally posted by candygirl:
I really didn't want to bring the bible into this discussion but I have to. Homosexuality is a sin. Being black is not.

When discussing homosexuality...I choose not to bring up the bible because I know that lying, fornicating, lusting,adultery, gossip etc...are also sins and one is no bigger than the other. In God's eyes thay all weigh the same.

Recently (within the past year) I have had several friends tell me that they were gay all of these being females. Some fam and some close friends. I read that story in VIBE and it rings true because some of my friends said when they go to the gay club you would be shocked. There are guys in there that you know are married with children, professional men, and round the neighbor hood - just left the b-ball court guys.After that I am cautious of everyone. One of these friends told me to treat all guys as "gay until proven straight"

No, I don't think that being gay is the same kind of oppression as black people face. The other day my brother and I were just talking about this and he said "you can go to a job and hide that you are gay or no one will know unless you tell them (my friend told me she has been this way for over 3 years)but you can't go anywhere and hide that you are black".

Some of my friends say they think it is just a phase for them while others don't even want to see a man. I myself think it is just a phase for some of them too. Sorry for the long post. That's my $19.13

[This message has been edited by Tanzanite (edited July 08, 2001).]

[ChaosDST]

Originally posted by BrandNubian:
I had to say something. I say this with all due respect and I know you said that these "homo thugs" (I detest that phrase, by the way) are just one of the reasons behind the increase of AIDS/HIV cases in African-American women.

True, men who have sex with both men and women and don't protect themselves (which not all of these "homo thugs" do) are a risk to every one of their sexual partners. And I think it's important to focus on the way people engage in at-risk behavior.

However, AIDS/HIV is not a "gay/bisexual" disease. Gays/lesbians/bisexuals do not even account for the largest number of AIDS/HIV cases in the black community. Heterosexuals account for the most cases.

But I notice (in general) black folks' willingness to jump on the "these so-called gay and bisexual men are a problem" bandwagon when it comes to discussing AIDS/HIV.

Nobody gives half as much attention to heterosexual men and women who "two-time" and "dip out on" their partners and thus, expose their partners to the possibility of AIDS/HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Beware of those folks too, just as much as you would of gay or bisexual men/women. Everybody wants to focus on the GLBT community of color like it's the biggest source of the problem. It's not. Lack of communication about sex is a problem, regardless of sexual orientation. Lack of comprehensive sexual education is a problem. The fact that our communities use sex to sell and market everything, while being very conservative and unwilling to frankly and intelligently discuss sexuality is a problem.

I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular here on the board. I just think that people need to get past some of their "issues" with the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender members of our community if the real fight against AIDS/HIV/STDs is to begin and be effective.

That being said, DELTAQTE, I am not at all surprised at that list you provided. If nothing else, it is only logical to think that at least a handful of hip-hop/R&B entertainers are GLBT.

While I thought that the Vibe article was a piece of trash (in terms of journalistic quality) and very short-sighted, I am glad that people are beginning to openly talk about a phenomenon that has quite frankly, existed for quite some time.

For more on the homosexuality and hip-hop topic, here's another article:

http://www.whoo.org/entries/00000006.shtml

We should be just as weary of promiscuous heterosexuals. However, the topic of discussion is the homothug, not the promiscuous heterosexual. Most women are already weary of a man who sleeps with other women...but, what we WOULDN'T expect, is for our man to sleep with other MEN. My purpose is to bring greater awareness...not repeat known truths.

[12dn94dst]

Originally posted by DELTAQTE:
Actually, the list was not only on our radio show, but on a few other radio shows across the country. They didn't say the name outright, but you knew exactly who they were talking about.
QTE

I figured as much. If they didn't say the name outright, there was probably a reason.

[MaMaBuddha]

Originally posted by candygirl:
There's a yes and a no to my answer. In the aspect of gay people dealing with stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination I feel that the oppression is the same. On the other hand I feel that the two are totally different and I'm kind of upset that your friends would even compare black people and gay people. I really didn't want to bring the bible into this discussion but I have to. Homosexuality is a sin. Being black is not. The two should never be compared when it comes in this aspect. I truly believe that people aren't born gay and that they can overcome the urges to be homosexual. All it takes is prayer. On can not change the fact that they are African American.

i wasn't going to acknowledge this topic until i saw this post. i would like to say that i am glad that my sister Brand Nubian (love you Baa) put the statistics on the table.

as we know...the bible talks about several things that are sinful and one doesn't out weight the other as a soror stated.

to sister friend candygirl...the two can be compared, imagine being a lesbian and black. that is three strikes against me...being a woman, being black and being a lesbian. assuming you are indeed str8...you can not say that people are not born gay. i knew from a youngin' that i was very interested in the same sex. growing up in a world were women are pressed to find a husband, i led a life were i dated men and don't regret it, but as i got older and wiser, i found what made me happy.

E. Lynn and James Earl Hardy are very much real, even Queer as Folk is very realbut some of it is very false, too. the Vibe article was poorly written and only present a very small piece of the the gay world.

Basically beware of who you sleep with, period. you need to know the 411 on any person that you let enter your bed.

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Delta Alpha
Spring 94


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Evil knows where evil sleeps~~Nigerian Proverb

[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited July 08, 2001).]

[DELTAQTE]

I just spilled my dang apple juice!

Dang Mama I had no idea, thanks for posting on this!

Yeah my gay friends tell me that Queer as Folk is ok, but not all fun like they portray!


QTE

[DirectorDST99]

I have a few points to make for clarification:

1. The issue is real; there's nothing wrong with the issue at hand.

2. While we post under the Delta forum, we must be careful how we select our words. There was/is some graphic language. Yes, we're all adults [I hope] but some language should be kept in private convos.

3. If we're going to post about people's lives/lifestyles, make sure we have the facts because we cerainly don't advocate gossip around here.

4. Homosexuality and bisexuality is REAL! Yes, we need to be aware of what's going on. I believe E. Lynn Harris' books capture the very essence of this topic and we all should be reading his books - it's real!

I think someone mentioned that AIDS/HIV are more prevalent among heterosexuals and women. I agree. My theory behind that is because so many men are "double dipping" as they say and being secretive about it. THAT is what puts us in danger. The statistics are off about what's really going on because there are ALOT of closet bisexual men.

Some people think of bisexual as having 2 sex organs (m/f). Does anyone else think that? I don't. I've just been in conversations with people who truly believe bisexuality is having 2 sex organs.



[This message has been edited by DirectorDST99 (edited July 08, 2001).]

[DELTAQTE]

LOL@Director!

Girl I'm sorry that confused you, my friend who is a GIRL found out her man was bisexual. Not a man friend of mine

I was reading in another BGLO forum about how they have gay family members and how it's not talked about in black families like it is in other communities, I agree with that one!

GOSSIP? Oh no not us!(big smile)

QTE

[candygirl]

MaMabuddha I totally agree with the fact that no sin is greater than the other. I also stated that black people can be compared with gay/lesbian men and women in the aspect that they endure discrimination and prejudices from ignorant people.

I send my sincere apologies if I offended you in any way. I'm pretty sure I'm ignorant to the lives of gay/lesbians but my opinion on the situation is based on the fact that homosexuality is a sin. One can be delivered from fornication, lust, adultery, and gossiping through faith and prayer, so why can't the same thing be done for those who are homosexual. That's why I made the statement about people not being born gay and overcomong homosexaul urges.

You made a statement about women being pressed to find husbands. Is that one of your reasons for being gay? If you don't mind me asking.

[DSTPRL]

Soror:

Let me start by saying I am not posting this to offend anyone or bring harm to our organization. I am only stating facts.

I read B-Boy Blues because a soror, who is a lesbian, bought it for me and gave it to me as a present so that I would better understand/accept her lifestyle. It is pretty graphic. It is an ok-written piece of literature (sort of on the lines of Omar Tyree and Jerome Dickey) but if you have any questions about the lifestyle it may have some answers for you.

Again, this specific soror bought it for me to teach me tolerance because I wasn't that accepting of her and her lifestyle when she came out to me. I had several gay, white male friends while in graduate school and thought I accepted this lifestyle.

But once faced with the true reality of it - someone in my sorority was also a member of this lifestyle - I wasn't as tolerant or open-minded as I once believed I was. I guess it hit too close to home - as long as I had a white face associated w/ gay/lesbian lifestyles then I was cool. Once my "sister" came out...I shut my eyes and ears and turned my back on her.

She and I haven't spoken in years and I am not even sure how to start building our friendship again.

Originally posted by kiml122:
There is a book by the name of B-Boy Blues, this book centers around exactly what this topic is about. The E. Lynn Harris books are really soft compared to this book. When I first read this book a few years back I had to put it down a few times because it was so up close and your face. But one of the main characters didn't see himself as being gay since he wasn't getting "poked" and had a child. If anyone else has read this book, tell me what you thought.

[MaMaBuddha]

Originally posted by candygirl:
I send my sincere apologies if I offended you in any way. I'm pretty sure I'm ignorant to the lives of gay/lesbians but my opinion on the situation is based on the fact that homosexuality is a sin. One can be delivered from fornication, lust, adultery, and gossiping through faith and prayer, so why can't the same thing be done for those who are homosexual. That's why I made the statement about people not being born gay and overcomong homosexaul urges.

candygirl, it takes a lot to offend me and none of your statements have done that. i am just putting you in the know.

now i ask you where in the bible does it say homosexuality is a sin?

You made a statement about women being pressed to find husbands. Is that one of your reasons for being gay? If you don't mind me asking.

that is the one of the oldest questions in the book of being gay. i don't deny that there are people out there that may use that excuse, but not me. i have not reason for being gay...i just am.

DSTPRL (hi soror )

what you printed can never bring any harm to our beloved sorority. This is a topic that effects all of us whether we are gay or str8. it is better to know the truth then to continue to live blindly.

B-Blues was written by a gay man for gay men. so you see the LIFE through his eyes. i can relate to alot of things in the book because it takes place in NYC and the events are very real. it might answer some people questions about black men and the homothug, but not all. it was a sappy love story, that brought tears to my eyes. Mr. Hardy has a part 2 out called "if only for one night"

DSTPRL...that soror that you shut your back on, give her a call. try to get in touch with her. coming out isn't easy and not everybody is in your corner. we that live in this lifestyle have already had to built a tolerance for those that try to shut us down and we are still here. i am sure she will be glad to hear from you if you are willing to try to contact her.



[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited July 10, 2001).]

[ShakespareDST]

About 3 months ago I read an article in USA Today which talks about the same issues but it referred to homosexual men as "DL (down low) Brothers". This article gave a few explanations as to why black men hide their sexuality. It talks about how difficult it is being black in White America but to be black and gay is twice as difficult. This article also touched on how the African American community views homosexuality as a taboo. Receiving absolutely no support from their own kind they feel the need to hide their sexuality.

I am not stating my opinion on anything just merely paraphrasing the article and I do encourage you to read it for yourselves.
http://navigation.helper.realnames.c...2&uid=30002676


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"To whom much is given, much is required."