When it's over...

[Wine&SilverBlue]

Originally posted by Diamond Delta
it is HUGE at my school for girls to wear their own letters on a lavelier.

ditto! I haven't heard of anyone being pinned or lavaliered by their boyfriend at my school -- is it more of a southern thing?

we *DID* have a candlepass this year because a girl got engaged...

I would say that the majority of sorority girls at my school wear their own letters on a lavalier. Chi O colonized last year and their nationals gave the founding members each a lavalier on a mini ball chain (along with chi o bags, keychains etc) to try to get their name out.

I have seen loads of Pi Phis, Kappas and Alpha Phis (and of course Chi Os) with lavaliers... but strangely enough no AEPhis or DGs with them.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by Wine&SilverBlue
ditto! I haven't heard of anyone being pinned or lavaliered by their boyfriend at my school -- is it more of a southern thing?

we *DID* have a candlepass this year because a girl got engaged...

I would say that the majority of sorority girls at my school wear their own letters on a lavalier. Chi O colonized last year and their nationals gave the founding members each a lavalier on a mini ball chain (along with chi o bags, keychains etc) to try to get their name out.

I have seen loads of Pi Phis, Kappas and Alpha Phis (and of course Chi Os) with lavaliers... but strangely enough no AEPhis or DGs with them.

Who DOESN'T have a lavaliere

[honeychile]

Originally posted by nauadpi
Just cause I thought it would be interesting to add to this thread... At my school pining and what not does not occur often, so I cannot talk about it... But an interesting note is about our advisor... When she had been in college she had been pined by multiple different fraternity men... She kept them all by saughtering them onto her charm braclet... There really wasn't a way to give them back..

She didn't give the pins back?!?!?!? That was a HUGE faux pas at my school!! When my ex-bf & I broke up, I gave back his pin AND letter shirt! When we see each other at Homecoming & such, we're friends - something that I don't think keeping his fraternity pin would have allowed!

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by kappa2
Yes, the days of courting when often you married your first love. They didn't even recognize lavaliers back then-what does that tell you?

Actually, I think that depends on the time.

During the mid to late 60's when I was in college, lavaliering was a precursor to pinning.

I think when the relationship ended, the woman sometimes kept the lavalier, but never the pin.

[madmax]

Sell it on ebay.

[roqueemae]

I wore my lavalier and his on the same chain. He gave me both of them. I couldn't bear to give up wearing my letters. Most of the girls in my chapter wear both when they get lavaliered.

[WCUgirl]

As someone who had to return a lavaliere, here are my thoughts:

The guy that I was dating lavaliered me, and I did take it very seriously. He also bought me a set of letters to wear. The problem was he started grad school about 9 hours away, and we just drifted apart. Another problem was that he was 4 yrs older than me, and he just couldn't identify w/ how much enthusiasm I had toward sorority life since he had grown out of the Greek scene by then, and that caused problems when, for example, I wanted to celebrate w/ my sisters for winning Greek week for an hour or so before coming over to see him. But I digress...

I broke up w/ him b/c I was miserable, and the first thing he did was ask for his lavaliere back. He told me I could keep the lettered shirt. Which a sorority sister of mine borrowed (since she was also a little sister of his fraternity) and never gave back. I think that was a conspiracy on her part.

Anyways, I think that a lot of girls identify a lavaliere/pin as a sign of a serious commitment, so when they say they want to be lavaliered by graduation, they're saying they hope they're in that type of a relationship by then. But I'm sure there are also a lot of girls who just want to see how many boys they can get to give them their letters.

I also think they're just letters, and sometimes people take the symbol of letters a little too seriously. For example, I think there was a thread around here somewhere that a girl was asking if it would be inappropriate for her to wear a Lambda Chi lavaliere that belonged to her mother...and IIRC (thanks muagd - I think it was you who told me what that means!), the man that lavaliered her mother wasn't even the man she ended up marrying! There are also plenty of threads discussing pin collectors owning a GLO's pin if they're not a member - I think it would be even less of a concern for a lavaliere b/c it's not even the org's badge!

As to the level of commitment that a lavaliere represents, I personally consider lavaliering a pre-engagement type of deal...whereas others consider it equal to engagement. Right after I got lavaliered, I was at a mixer w/ another fraternity, and one of the brothers jokingly commented that he couldn't talk to me anymore since I was engaged. I was like...."What?" I did notice that boys talked to me less at parties when they realized I had on a fraternity lavaliere.

Perhaps that's why so many lavalieres are returned - b/c it's seen as something that's easier to break than an engagement. Also, perhaps the people in the relationships realize that they're not ready for such a large commitment - lavaliering is sort of "practice" for being engaged. I personally would rather have to return something the boy spent $30 on than something he spent $3000+ on, but that's just me.

[CarolinaDG]

One of the fraternities here says it's a curse to lavalier their girlfriend. I heard about it when I was first dating one of the guys, and when he said he would never lavalier a girl, I got all insulted. Apparently, every relationship has ended right after the lavalier. Almost as if to prove it, one of the guys lavaliered his girlfriend (which they tried to convince him not to do b/c of the curse) and they broke up right after. I do know of one couple that was lavaliered, though, and as far as I know they're still together, but I haven't talked to her in a few months so I'm not really sure.

On the flipside, my sister was fraternity sweetheart, was lavaliered, engaged, and has now been married for 3 years. She was one of those girls who got married at 22, and for her it worked. I'm hoping to have a new little neice or nephew, soon! :-)

[deadbear80]

Originally posted by Wine&SilverBlue
ditto! I haven't heard of anyone being pinned or lavaliered by their boyfriend at my school -- is it more of a southern thing?

we *DID* have a candlepass this year because a girl got engaged...

I would say that the majority of sorority girls at my school wear their own letters on a lavalier. Chi O colonized last year and their nationals gave the founding members each a lavalier on a mini ball chain (along with chi o bags, keychains etc) to try to get their name out.

I have seen loads of Pi Phis, Kappas and Alpha Phis (and of course Chi Os) with lavaliers... but strangely enough no AEPhis or DGs with them.

There were definitely a handful of DGs that got lavaliered by fraternities when I was at Wash. U. ( I graduated in '02). I think I remember a couple of Kappas as well. I've never heard of anyone at Wash. U. getting 'pinned'--I was always under the impression that doing that was out of style, especially since lavaliers are pretty cheap to buy and don't necessarily have as much sentimental value if the relationship were to break up and the guy doesn't get it back.

As for DGs wearing lavaliers--again, I haven't been an undergrad for a couple of years...but I know a bunch of girls had lavaliers. I got one from a senior when I was a freshman and wore it constantly when I was in school (never at a bar though ). It was a more modern looking lavalier, however, and had the letters going horizontal instead of vertical, like the Kappas and Pi Phis tended to have. A lot of my sisters had the same ones--they were labeled 'lavaliers' in the Anchor Trader (fraternity-run store) but weren't traditional, as I said. It may just be that you're not thinking of their necklaces as lavaliers--but again, it may be that not many girls are wearing them anymore. Completely possible.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

When my mother's cousin was a college student, she went home to her parents wearing her boyfriend's pin. Her father asked what that pin meant. She said that it meant that they were in love and intended to get married. Her father said if she planned to get married now, he didn't need to pay for her college anymore. She returned the pin the next day. They became engaged after college and have been married for about 45 years now.

This probably has little to do with the thread, but I think it's an interesting story.

I would return the pin or the lavalier if the relationship ended.

[Wine&SilverBlue]

Originally posted by deadbear80
There were definitely a handful of DGs that got lavaliered by fraternities when I was at Wash. U. ( I graduated in '02). I think I remember a couple of Kappas as well. I've never heard of anyone at Wash. U. getting 'pinned'--I was always under the impression that doing that was out of style, especially since lavaliers are pretty cheap to buy and don't necessarily have as much sentimental value if the relationship were to break up and the guy doesn't get it back.

As for DGs wearing lavaliers--again, I haven't been an undergrad for a couple of years...but I know a bunch of girls had lavaliers. I got one from a senior when I was a freshman and wore it constantly when I was in school (never at a bar though ). It was a more modern looking lavalier, however, and had the letters going horizontal instead of vertical, like the Kappas and Pi Phis tended to have. A lot of my sisters had the same ones--they were labeled 'lavaliers' in the Anchor Trader (fraternity-run store) but weren't traditional, as I said. It may just be that you're not thinking of their necklaces as lavaliers--but again, it may be that not many girls are wearing them anymore. Completely possible.

a few of my DG friends wear necklaces with an anchor charm, sometimes with their other necklaces. I think they are so beautiful

[astroAPhi]

I think a lot of it depends on who gives who the article of jewelry.

For instance, my boyfriend's chapter made me Sweetheart my junior year. They don't buy the girls sweetheart badges because it would be just too darn expensive to do that every year. But if they had given me a badge or a lavalier for being sweetheart, I wouldn't give that back if we broke up, because the fraternity as a whole gave that to me.

My boyfriend lavaliered me on my last week of school my senior year (he is the same age but is still in school). He asked his brothers ahead of time if they were comfortable with it, even if we had been dating for over 3 years. I was quite honored when they told him that if any girl deserved a TKE lavalier, it was me. He had planned on pinning me at the same time, but couldn't because of the combined cost of the two. If we break up in the future, I'd give both back to him (if he ever gets around to pinning me), because he gave them to me, even if he did have their blessing. Even though I was sweetheart I wouldn't keep HIS sweetheart badge.

I love my boyfriend and his fraternity is very close to my heart. I take great care in portraying his letters as well as I would my own. I was honored and thrilled when he lavaliered me. Since some people think it's messed up to want to be lavaliered before graduation, I don't think it's all that weird as long as it's a fraternity you're close to. I wouldn't accept a lavalier from any ol' random fraternity guy after a few months of dating. But since it was TKE and I have a long history with their chapter, I did WANT it in a way. It was something I hoped would happen and looked forward to, but I wouldn't have felt my college or Greek experience wasn't something with out it.