Still an issue in Black America?

[VctoriasSecrt3]

being on the lighter end of the color spectrum i find almost daily that people are still color struck just by comments i get from males...specifically relating to color...in my own family, my great grandmother (rest her soul) would not positively deal with anyone that was beyond a certain shade...i heard stories of favoritism due to color even as recently as when me and my cousins were very young children and her not particularly caring for the other childrens color...but mine of course was suitable...i say all that to say that even today, as evidenced by the dark man/light woman pairings in film and television (a tradition that has been going on since the the early history of tv and film) light skin vs. dark skin is an issue for many...it may not be that evident to those whose appearance is not their livelihood...but as an individual whose appearance is a livelihood...i believe it still is a very pressing issue...




[This message has been edited by VctoriasSecrt3 (edited May 09, 2001).]

[RRMDQT]

Originally posted by Salience:
Yes, it is still apparent, look at the ads on tv!

Will it change? I don't think so.

I don't think that is a positive outlook to say that you don't think that the slave mentality will never end. Maybe not in our lifetimes, but I believe it will. With the emergence of so many bi-racial and multi-racial people, people perspectives of each other are going to change inevitably.
We have to teach our children and younger brothers and sisters not to view each other as dark vs light and watch what we say around them. If we do not teach them the right ways then the cycle will just continue. I believe it is up to us. Those who do not accept that we, as Black people, still have a lot of issues to discuss, will be the same ones who continue to say the same things to one another, keeping us as a people separated. We have to unite as a people first before we can even think about everyone else.
Just remember to think about that before making a comment about someone based upon their complexion, hair texture, or features.

[mccoyred]

I think that it is okay to view people as they are (dark, light or whatever) but we must not succomb to negative images associated with how they look (ie dark=ugly, light=stuck-up, etc).

I am a brown-skinned woman married to a light-skinned man; we married each other because of who we are, not because of our skin color. We have two little boys; one light, one dark. Since our complexions are so different, we can't help but notice in our everyday lives; our complexions are just another part of us.

There is no good or bad skin color; there just IS. period. Whether light or dark, we are still one people. Many don't beleive in that principle but that's another thread

Originally posted by RRMDQT:
We have to teach our children and younger brothers and sisters not to view each other as dark vs light and watch what we say around them. If we do not teach them the right ways then the cycle will just continue. I believe it is up to us. Those who do not accept that we, as Black people, still have a lot of issues to discuss, will be the same ones who continue to say the same things to one another, keeping us as a people separated. We have to unite as a people first before we can even think about everyone else.
Just remember to think about that before making a comment about someone based upon their complexion, hair texture, or features.

------------------
MCCOYRED
Mu Psi '86
BaltCo Alumnae

Dynamic...Salient...Temperate...Since 1913

[VctoriasSecrt7]

Originally posted by dog dog bang bang:
See on thing we got to realize is this, we are like flowers, we come in a variety of colors that is what make the Black race so beautiful. GOD made us this way. Just think about it, if we were all the same color would that be beautiful? Like whites they are the only race that is the same color. There is no variety. We need to get above that and let go of the slave metality. I date all women of color. But even in society there is color code. If your a light skinned black-you're going to make it, if your a brown skinned black-we'll take you, if you a dark skinned black-you are lower than low. This is how things are and we have to make a change. The shade of an individual skin doesn't mean he/she is ignorant, smart, sexy, etc.. We are caught up in that flavor bad. Look at the whities they go to tanning salons to get crispy and I do mean crispy orange. We have to realize we are beautiful and Black is back as a race.

i think the saying back in the day was..."if you're white, you're all right...if you're black, get back, and if you're brown, stick around..."

[This message has been edited by VctoriasSecrt7 (edited May 09, 2001).]

[crimson30]

Sorors and SF

I believe this is still a major issue among African Americans because we let it defeat us!! We are still practicing slave mentalities with the divide and conquer rule!!! Some of our counterparts in white America use skin color as a way to determine their comfort level with being around minorities!! I think we still buy into their hype instead of appreciating our various shades of mocha brown, café au lait, and licorice. It is up to us in our communities to not buy into the hype. White America knows as long as we will listen to them some of us will still perpetuate the stereotype and forever be bound by our skin color.

[Salience]

Originally posted by RRMDQT:
I don't think that is a positive outlook to say that you don't think that the slave mentality will never end. Maybe not in our lifetimes, but I believe it will. With the emergence of so many bi-racial and multi-racial people, people perspectives of each other are going to change inevitably.
We have to teach our children and younger brothers and sisters not to view each other as dark vs light and watch what we say around them. If we do not teach them the right ways then the cycle will just continue. I believe it is up to us. Those who do not accept that we, as Black people, still have a lot of issues to discuss, will be the same ones who continue to say the same things to one another, keeping us as a people separated. We have to unite as a people first before we can even think about everyone else.
Just remember to think about that before making a comment about someone based upon their complexion, hair texture, or features.

See, we aren't ready to unite as a people, which is why I don't see change coming. I'll try to think more optimistically about my children's future, but as long as we stay caught up in promoting Eurocentric "beauty" and trying to ensure white people are "comfortable" around us.

I will admit I suffer from it, too. I'm in grad scool now, growing dreads, but when I go out on the market in a few years, at most I'll have braids. Part of is it because I like different hairstyles, but part is that I want a job, and white people and dreads don't necessarily mix well in conservative circles.

[dog dog bang bang]

See on thing we got to realize is this, we are like flowers, we come in a variety of colors that is what make the Black race so beautiful. GOD made us this way. Just think about it, if we were all the same color would that be beautiful? Like whites they are the only race that is the same color. There is no variety. We need to get above that and let go of the slave metality. I date all women of color. But even in society there is color code. If your a light skinned black-you're going to make it, if your a brown skinned black-we'll take you, if you a dark skinned black-you are lower than low. This is how things are and we have to make a change. The shade of an individual skin doesn't mean he/she is ignorant, smart, sexy, etc.. We are caught up in that flavor bad. Look at the whities they go to tanning salons to get crispy and I do mean crispy orange. We have to realize we are beautiful and Black is back as a race.

[LadyNRed]

Originally posted by LadyNRed:
Greetings Sorors and Friends,
I have been following this forum for a while now but this topic inspired me to respond. I too read the recent article in last month's Ebony magazine. It was nice to see intelligent dialogue on this topic, as it seems to still rear its ugly head within our community.

In addition, it was interesting to note the different contributors chosen to give comments on the issue. I think that as members of BGLOs it is our responsibility to lead the fight against this type of bias we inflict upon our communities and ourselves. I know that many of us have seen or heard problems/situations surrounding the "color" issue and, regardless of a person's respective hue, the issues still arise. As I think about our illustrious sisterhood and the other great BGLOs that make up the "Divine Nine" I think that we can lead the change in this area. By embracing the beauty of our race with all of its shapes, sizes and colors, we can rise above these 'simple' issues. By focusing on our accomplishments as a collective rather than looking at the physical appearance of individuals we can move away from the division this issue creates.

However, it is one thing for us to discuss this issue but we must also be proactive in trying to combat it. We can do that through mentoring our youth and being positive role models. We as progressive, civic-minded people must de-emphasize our preoccupation with skin color and focus on developing and fostering the self-esteem of the next generation.

I know that my post is getting long so I will stop rambling now. But I really enjoyed the article and I like the fact that the leaders of BGLOs are on one accord in regards to this issue (and people say we don't get along). If we ALL stay inspired with the spirit of our Founders, we can overcome this issue within our community and carry out their vision in the new millennium.

HI LadyNRed,
please email me at realpearl1913@yahoo.com,I have a question..

N'Quisitive
6-OE-99

[VctoriasSecrt9]

Originally posted by Salience:
See, we aren't ready to unite as a people, which is why I don't see change coming. I'll try to think more optimistically about my children's future, but as long as we stay caught up in promoting Eurocentric "beauty" and trying to ensure white people are "comfortable" around us.

I will admit I suffer from it, too. I'm in grad scool now, growing dreads, but when I go out on the market in a few years, at most I'll have braids. Part of is it because I like different hairstyles, but part is that I want a job, and white people and dreads don't necessarily mix well in conservative circles.

though i do not agree with you totally salience...i can see where you are coming from...without unity, there can be no progress...and at this point in black america...unity is severely lacking...therefore one could accurately predict that unless there is a concerted effort to build and maintain unity within our race...we will not progress as a people in the forseeable future...


[This message has been edited by VctoriasSecrt9 (edited May 10, 2001).]

[1savvydiva]

Okay, so I guess this is a relevant thread...

SOOOOO, I'm on the phone with 'prospect' dude having a casual conversation. We've spoken several times before, but never since I've been single. We were talking about "types". I was saying that I don't really think I have a type, although when I was younger, my boyfriends always seemed to be fair-skinned with dark hair/features. (He fits this mold) I also said that as I've gotten older, I don't think my type has changed (handsome is handsome), I've just ended up with darker brothers. "BUT," I tell him, "I'm not colorstruck or anything." So he says, "Well, I am!" I was like . So I'm like "Well, you said that I am the type of woman you usually go for, and I am not light-skinned (more honey-glazed ) by far. He says, "You're light enough for me!" So I'm like "Are you serious?" Ya'll he was dead-ass serious. He said that he wouldn't normally "go any darker than me".This kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but did I take this the wrong way?

What do you think of this comment?

[TonyB06]

He's colorstruck. I make no judgement on his preference, but he's definitely showing you that with his comment.

Don't really want to bang on dude because to be real we all have something we "like"; his just carries a lot of historical self-hate baggage. Me? I'm drawn to short women 5'0 -- 5'3" or so. I don't know why and can't explain it at all, but I am. I'm 6'0" so it really isn't an issue and I date women of different heights, but if she looks like she could get a 10-day contract with the WNBA I might have to think on it a minute

[1savvydiva]

I get that...but the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether I should be offended or not that I 'barely made the cut'.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by 1savvydiva
I get that...but the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether I should be offended or not that I 'barely made the cut'.

*LOL* @ the made the cut comment. Maybe he gave you extra credit for light eyes too.

Its so hard to say ~ where do you draw the line of someone simply having preferences versus self hate?

I do think in his case, though, he does have some issues only because of the "your light enough for me" comment. That tells he that me specifically seeks out a lighter skin color.

[TonyB06]

Originally posted by 1savvydiva
I get that...but the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether I should be offended or not that I 'barely made the cut'.

LMAO.


....ahhhh, now you are learning the deeper meaning of life, young Grasshopper.

[1savvydiva]

HaHaHa! Oh really, is that what you call it, Sensi I don't understand!?