Advice to rush thread addicts

[Sister Havana]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
I believe what ForeverDiamond was venting about was the GCers who have no "relationship" with this PNM except for GC. Going out of the way by calling your contacts at XYZ University just to suppress your own obsessed and addictive need for rush threads is what's sick and creepy.

AMEN. That is creepy.

I just figure when/if the person is ready to tell us what happened, they will. As fun as it is to read the rush threads and find out the endings to the stories, people do have other priorities and it is hard to write bad news.

[aephi alum]

I am a self-confessed rush thread addict. I love reading all our PNMs' stories, no matter the outcome.

I don't see anything wrong with a quick "good luck" or "congratulations" or "sorry things didn't work out" post ... but I agree that calling people to find out if someone you know only via GC went XYZ is kind of creepy/stalkerish.

It's great when a PNM comes back and updates us (especially since it takes a lot of courage to admit that you were released from all groups or that you chose to drop out), but you know what... if a few days have gone by since bid day and the PNM hasn't posted, it probably means s/he doesn't want to for whatever reason, and we should respect that.

[KSUViolet06]

I don't think this has happened, but just in case it does..

If a PNM gets cut from rush, it's fine to post "I'm sorry that this happened to you". I don't really think it's nice to say " OH WOW!!! THAT REALLY BITES." I'm sure the young woman knows very well that it "sucks".

I also don't think we should try to speculate why a PNM got cut if she didn't volunteer that information. I know I wouldn't want to log on and see a full 2 pages of post saying that I probably "didn't maximize my options" or "was bound to get cut b/c.............."

And always remember, as much as we want women to find their home, we should remember that we DON'T know why/how they got cut.

[ADPiSAI]

*bump*

[kddani]

Thank you! I was going to bump this earlier.

Ladies (and the occasional gent) PLEASE stop bugging rushies for updates, especially those COBing. Let them come to us in their own time. Honestly, if they don't wanna tell us, it's none of our damn business

Replying to this so it'll get bumped.

I think some people just need a little reminder.

[AXO_MOM_3]

Originally posted by kddani
Thank you! I was going to bump this earlier.

Ladies (and the occasional gent) PLEASE stop bugging rushies for updates, especially those COBing. Let them come to us in their own time. Honestly, if they don't wanna tell us, it's none of our damn business

Another thing to note is that if the pnm has NOT shared where she is in school at, what groups are at her school, or what group is colonizing that she is attending parties for, then it is NOT our place to share that information. Even if you know what school she is at and what groups are there, leave it to the pnm to share the information that they want to share.

[FSUZeta]

what she said!!

[sageofages]

quote:
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Originally posted by ForeverDiamond


Oh, and calling people from that school to try to find out about PNMs and where they went is just creepy. If I had found out that someone who had written me a rec for the sorority I joined had done that, I'd think twice about staying in that group because I'd be kind of freaked out to know that there are people like that in my GLO.

/rant
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Originally posted by Tippiechick
See, I agree with everything except this... I don't see anything wrong with this with the following rule. If you know the person well and figure they are way too busy to call everyone, then it might be easier just to call the chapter and find out. If you wrote a glowing rec for someone, then again, it isn't so odd to me.

But, if it is an info-only type situation or just someone you know that went through rush, then it IS a little odd.

Just my opinion... For what it's worth... ($.02 if you were wondering)

ACTUALLY, I don't know about other NPC groups, but in Phi Mu it is the collegiate chapter that RECEIVES the recommendation to let the "recommender" know the outcome of the "recommendee's" recruitment experience. There is a form that says essentially "thank you for the recommendation for SUZIE SORORITY WANNABE. She (check one) - has joined Phi Mu. - pledged *any other group*. - declined to complete Recruitment" etc etc etc

That way you don't have a bunch of alums calling an already overwhelmed membership director for information. Very handy and very much like a thank you note (with additional information) for the recommendation.

[KSUViolet06]

*bump*

[ADPiSAI]

Thank you -- I was searching for this earlier so I could bump it.

[Zillini]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
See, I agree with everything except this... I don't see anything wrong with this with the following rule. If you know the person well and figure they are way too busy to call everyone, then it might be easier just to call the chapter and find out. If you wrote a glowing rec for someone, then again, it isn't so odd to me.

Here's my personal request to all alums who want to know where their PNM ended up pledging. (Note I'm referring to a campus with over 1,000 women going recruitment, but others may feel the same way.) Please do not call the house on Bid Day and expect them to happily track down which Chapter your girl pledged.

First, these actives have been working hard all week. Now they want to relax and enjoy the celebration with their new pledge class. Second, we often don't get the full list of where everyone pledged until later in the day. Third, we get one copy of this list and try to keep it safe. On this exciting day no one wants to take the time to go run copies and have to keep track of all of them. So all I'm asking is please wait until at least the day after.

But above all I beg of you, if your PNM did not get a bid to your GLO please do not call the Chapter and start ripping the poor active who answered the phone a new one. At a minimum ask for the Recruitment Chair or President. Actually as a Chapter Advisor I instruct all members to direct those sorts of calls to me because I won't tolerate my girls being abused by an alum, which is what so often happens in these situations.

Just keep in mind regardless of who you talk to, they are not allowed to divulge specifics of the selection process even to alums. You were in their shoes once, please remember how difficult it can be to make these decisions.

[KSUViolet06]

Just something to think about: Just because a PNM doesn't update her rush thread to say "I'm now a new member of XYZ!" doesn't mean she didn't get a bid. Bid Days are exciting and coming back to GC to update my not be the first thing on a PNM's mind.

[Kasis-anon]

Thanks for this great thread. It is a useful and timely reminder.
Posting a thread as a pnm going through recruitment does not constitute a contract between the poster and those who love recruitment threads. The pnms has every right to write as much or as little as they like, and is not required they should submit to any posting schedule. I know we all want to support these women but sometimes the tone of the requests for updates gets a bit frantic. And yes, the 42 requests for an update makes the threads uninviting at the very least.
thanks again for the reminder!

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by trisigmaAtl
not to mention that the threads get full of pages and pages of "good, luck!" "any news?" over and over again. sometimes I go to check the threads b/c it seems like there might be an update and then it turns out the pnm hasn't posted for days!! most pnms actual recruitment stories are only 6 or seven posts long, but their threads are 14 plus pages!!!! not that these girls don't deserve the "good lucks", but it gets kind of overwhelming to read and post in.

---just a personal frustration

AMEN! That and "Any updates? Any updates?"