Update on ex-misscashmoney

[adpialumcsuc]

I don't know what the situation is surrounding your break up but coming from someone who was on her side.......DON'T call her. I wanted my ex to call me and let me know that I would be OK and when he did I started try to get him to get back together with me. Luckily for me shortly after he went to London for a semester and I had all that time to realize that weren't getting back together.

I would also tell her friends that. They need to let her know that you care about her well being but you are still upset about the "hurt" and can't talk to her yet.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Rudey
Is this the girl from 8th Street Latinas or the one from Captain Stabbin?

-Rudey

You dirty bitch. Ever notice that Captain Stabbin looks like a knock off of a dirty south old dirty bastard?

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by adpialumcsuc
I don't know what the situation is surrounding your break up but coming from someone who was on her side.......DON'T call her. I wanted my ex to call me and let me know that I would be OK and when he did I started try to get him to get back together with me. Luckily for me shortly after he went to London for a semester and I had all that time to realize that weren't getting back together.

I would also tell her friends that. They need to let her know that you care about her well being but you are still upset about the "hurt" and can't talk to her yet.

Thanks, here you go....

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...threadid=54441

Originally posted by KappaKittyCat
The last time I was dumped, it took me three weeks of bawling, insomnia, and not eating before I was able to function again, and it it was a good two years before I realized that we weren't ever going to get back together.

The XBF didn't help matters because he insisted on calling and staying around to "make sure I was okay." The fact that he kept coming around was, to me, a sign that he still loved me and was having second thoughts about dumping me. I couldn't move on because he was still in my world.

So if you're really serious about the breakup, don't call her. Don't talk to her friends. Make it final. It hurts her more now, but will be better in the long run. I know you're concerned about her health and safety, but she could use that as a tool to keep you close. Trust that her friends aren't going to let her do anything stupid. Stand your ground.

co-sign! co-sign! co-sign!!! i just went through this. maybe not to the FULLEST extent as what has been described, but i did quit eating and all i did was sleep. i went to the doc the other day b/c i got sick (probably from not eating) and she questioned me on my weight loss (i don't need to lose any weight). my ex did contact me about 3 weeks after we broke up and it really made it all worse. it made me think oh, maybe he wants to get back together. i'm fine now, and i know he cares about me. he has communicated that to me and i know that if i were to need anything i could call him.

don't contact her unless you are serious about being back together with her!!!!!!!!!!!

[ZTAngel]

Are you absolutely, positively 100% convinced that you don't ever want to get back with her again?

Do you think that this is something that, in time, you guys can get past and maybe work out?

I guess it's maybe because I know her and I know she's a really great person. Also, she seems to have changed you for the better.

If you are positive that you want nothing to do with her ever again, then don't call her. But, if you still do love her and still hope that maybe things could work out, then I think you should call her.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

When I first read your story, I had hoped that you would work things out and get back together. Sometimes couples take a break and reunite stronger than ever. She probably wants that.

If you want to get back together, call her and tell her and try to work it out.

If you don't want to get back together, I think that she needs closure. I'm not sure how to go about that or what role you can play in that. I think that she just needs time. She loved you enough to begin to build a life with you. It is painful to give up on that dream.

[James]

Things that are broken don't mend well.

You can make any relationship last or work if you just . . . stay.

But usually everytime there is a break-up it weakens the feelings a little.

And sometimes the reason why people can get back together is that the feelings have faded enough so that things don' t hurt as badly. The intensity of the relationship grows less, but the familiarity keeps people coming back for more.

But in that situation the amount of passionate love or like has become less than it was, a sad state of affairs.

In your case Craig. ITs like addiction. If you want her to get over it and recover, don't contact her. ITs a process, she is not going to die and as time goes on she will feel better.

If you want to renew her suffering giver her another puff on your crack pipe.

Her friends are harrassing you by calling. This is not your problem anymore and you really can't help her. She had her chance.

You really liked her the ONLY she had to do was not stuff it up. And she stuffed it up.

A week on 10mg of valium and some sleeping aids would speed her recovery.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
Are you absolutely, positively 100% convinced that you don't ever want to get back with her again?

Do you think that this is something that, in time, you guys can get past and maybe work out?

I guess it's maybe because I know her and I know she's a really great person. Also, she seems to have changed you for the better.

If you are positive that you want nothing to do with her ever again, then don't call her. But, if you still do love her and still hope that maybe things could work out, then I think you should call her.

I don't know. Maybe I look at things differently. I don't know if I could fully get past the fact that she vaules her mother's advice more than she cares about the two of us. And the fact that she had put her family before me when we were supposed to be getting married. The way I see it, if you're married to someone then that person IS your new family. You should put your husband/wife above your other family. If you don't, then your marriage isnt going to work in the long run. Yes, she was good for me and I was good for her. The problem came when her mother got caught up in the mix and started yapping shit off in her ear. Now there were things I could have dealt with differently. I look back and realize I shouldn't have told her that her mother was selfish, unhappy bitch. I'd probably be pissed if she would have said that about my mother....but if it were true I wouldn't hold it against her. The fact that she hasnt called me at all herself proves to me that she thinks she didnt do anything wrong and that, in her words, the problem was me. I mean, I'd probably feel different about it all if she called me and told me that she messed up and that she was sorry for being the way she was and that from now on she'll put me first and not listen to her mother when it comes to our relationship.....but I don't forsee that coming out of her mouth. I've given thought to the whole pre-marital counseling thing but realized thats too gay. Besides, I don't know how she'd react to me suggesting something like that. She'd probably tell me I'm crazy.

Now I'm even more confused than I was before I started this thread.

[winneythepooh7]

I don't know. I have mixed reactions after reading your post Cashmoney. For one, she is not gonna change unless she goes through some serious therapy and cuts the cord with her mother. Both are not easy things for a person to commit to. It is clear that you probably do love her still and want things to work but sometimes it just won't. I guess what it comes down to is are you ready to take on all this family stuff for the rest of your life? And what if you decide to have kids with her? Then what? What will Grandma-ex-cash-money do then?

[chideltjen]

After a break up with an abusive boy, I felt sick all the time, didn't want to go to classes, my blood sugars were out of control, etc. I know now that the break up was the best thing for me, but at the time, I loved the guy, even though the relationship was crap. He wanted to jump right into a "friends" thing. So he would call or IM me, and I'd do the same. We'd end up fighting and it was just stupid. I was depressed and I ended up going to counceling to find a balance. It helped more than chatting with my ex on the phone.

My advice is similar to someone's above: Don't call her if you want to end things completely. Call her if you are willing to give her another chance. Giving her a call, I think, would give her something to cling onto even if there is no intention of getting back together. She'll heal eventually. The wounds are still fresh so it could take a while. I'd say that if her friends are still calling you after another month saying she is still acting like this, tell her friends/sisters/whomever to get her into counceling. It will help to talk to someone non-judgemental.

My $.02.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by James
Things that are broken don't mend well.

You can make any relationship last or work if you just . . . stay.

But usually everytime there is a break-up it weakens the feelings a little.

See, I'm the type of person where once you get back it just doesnt feel right. I don't treat the person the same and I don't feel like I'm treated the same and in the past it never worked out each time I did. All it ever did was hurt me more and led to me going out and picking up random chicks.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by cashmoney
You dirty bitch. Ever notice that Captain Stabbin looks like a knock off of a dirty south old dirty bastard?

How does it work? I mean I know it's fake but it somewhat looks real. Do they just get actors and then tape in public? Do you see them down there ever?

-Rudey

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Rudey
How does it work? I mean I know it's fake but it somewhat looks real. Do they just get actors and then tape in public? Do you see them down there ever?

-Rudey

Never seen them and I don't know how it works. But I hate Captain Stabbin.

[BabyP]

DO NOT CALL

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by KappaKittyCat
The last time I was dumped, it took me three weeks of bawling, insomnia, and not eating before I was able to function again, and it it was a good two years before I realized that we weren't ever going to get back together.

The XBF didn't help matters because he insisted on calling and staying around to "make sure I was okay." The fact that he kept coming around was, to me, a sign that he still loved me and was having second thoughts about dumping me. I couldn't move on because he was still in my world.

So if you're really serious about the breakup, don't call her. Don't talk to her friends. Make it final. It hurts her more now, but will be better in the long run. I know you're concerned about her health and safety, but she could use that as a tool to keep you close. Trust that her friends aren't going to let her do anything stupid. Stand your ground.

I have to second this one.... STRONGLY. I could have written it myself but decided not to "recreate the wheel".