In this thread, I need blind reassurance about my boy

[jharb]

Originally posted by James
The more someone likes you the more they want to talk to you, especially if they are denied close contact because you are far away from them. Its just a matter of how much you are on their mind.

Well now that's reassuring.

Boys and phones are like oil and water, don't force him to talk on it if he doesn't want to. It could drive him away and I doubt that's what you were going for. Instead spend more time in person together.

[James]

They are long distance. Thats why I posted that. It would be different if they were right near each other. Then the normal rules of boys and phones apply.

Originally posted by jharb
Well now that's reassuring.

Boys and phones are like oil and water, don't force him to talk on it if he doesn't want to. It could drive him away and I doubt that's what you were going for. Instead spend more time in person together.

[jharb]

Originally posted by James
They are long distance. Thats why I posted that. It would be different if they were right near each other. Then the normal rules of boys and phones apply.

I was in a long distance relationship for a year, spending more time together was the best thing for the relationship. We saw each other every other week and it worked out well. We didn't' talk on the phone a lot because he wasn't good at phone stuff, but we did e-mail and IM occasionally. But what would I know...I just lived it.

[James]

True, i guess we can forgive you for that . .. not being a boy and all

Originally posted by jharb
I was in a long distance relationship for a year, spending more time together was the best thing for the relationship. We saw each other every other week and it worked out well. We didn't' talk on the phone a lot because he wasn't good at phone stuff, but we did e-mail and IM occasionally. But what would I know...I just lived it.

[Nikki_DZ]

Originally posted by James
They are long distance. Thats why I posted that. It would be different if they were right near each other. Then the normal rules of boys and phones apply.

If you've ever actually been in the situation, please raise your hand.

I was in a long distance relationship for 9 months. In that time, we talked on the phone for about 20 minutes every two weeks or so. It wasn't a reflection of our feelings for one another, it was a reflection on the fact that neither of us cared much for phone talking. He was on my mind constantly, and I was on his. When we were face to face (about once every 2-3 months), we didn't shut up. Phone just wasn't our preferred method of communication. He wrote me the most amazing emails, and actual love letters. I'd like to think that our written communication allowed us to express our feelings in ways we couldn't verbalize.

But what do I know? I only married the guy.

[James]

Well a bit millitant but good for you

ETA: But yeah when I was a 19 year old boy I was in that situation and called more at first and then much less as my attention wandered to other things. The more interested I was the longer I talked.

But what do I know? I as just a 19 year old college boy living in a seperate town from a girl that i was only dating but not exclusive with, just like the example in her story

Originally posted by Nikki_DZ
If you've ever actually been in the situation, please raise your hand.

I was in a long distance relationship for 9 months. In that time, we talked on the phone for about 20 minutes every two weeks or so. It wasn't a reflection of our feelings for one another, it was a reflection on the fact that neither of us cared much for phone talking. He was on my mind constantly, and I was on his. When we were face to face (about once every 2-3 months), we didn't shut up. Phone just wasn't our preferred method of communication. He wrote me the most amazing emails, and actual love letters. I'd like to think that our written communication allowed us to express our feelings in ways we couldn't verbalize.

But what do I know? I only married the guy.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by jharb

Boys and phones are like oil and water

You have no idea how right you are about this.

I hate talking on the phone. In fact I like to put people on speakerphone and do other work at the same time and my girlfriends have never been big fans when i don't pay attention or take too long to respond. They just don't get how annoying a phone is and how you even hate that damn hot feeling in your ear after you've helf the phone against your ear for too long.

-Rudey
--Ugh, phones

[jharb]

Originally posted by Rudey
You have no idea how right you are about this.

I hate talking on the phone. In fact I like to put people on speakerphone and do other work at the same time and my girlfriends have never been big fans when i don't pay attention or take too long to respond. They just don't get how annoying a phone is and how you even hate that damn hot feeling in your ear after you've helf the phone against your ear for too long.

-Rudey
--Ugh, phones

I'm a girl and the phone gets old for me. I hate when the phone gets hot too. I just think it's a pathetic substitute for the real thing. Take the two/three hours (in my former long distance case) and go see them for a weekend. It makes it work out so much better without frying your ear.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by jharb
I'm a girl and the phone gets old for me. I hate when the phone gets hot too. I just think it's a pathetic substitute for the real thing. Take the two/three hours (in my former long distance case) and go see them for a weekend. It makes it work out so much better without frying your ear.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a long distance relationship because I work awful hours. Nothing like bringing your hottie into the office, but still it ain't central park.

-Rudey

[Nikki_DZ]

Originally posted by James
Well a bit millitant but good for you

ETA: But yeah when I was a 19 year old boy I was in that situation and called more at first and then much less as my attention wandered to other things. The more interested I was the longer I talked.

But what do I know? I as just a 19 year old college boy living in a seperate town from a girl that i was only dating but not exclusive with, just like the example in her story

I fail to see how I was militant in telling my story of the early stages of my relationship with my husband, but to each their own...

If you're referring to my "please raise your hand" comment, since you had not previously prefaced your "experience" in this particular sector of relationships, how was anyone to know you had actually experienced this, and not, say, read it out of a book?

[James]

Well I wanted to share my insight without making her neurotic with how similar it was

As an addendum, it doesn't mean the guy won't get keenly interested when he is back in the same town with the girl.

Originally posted by Nikki_DZ
I fail to see how I was militant in telling my story of the early stages of my relationship with my husband, but to each their own...

If you're referring to my "please raise your hand" comment, since you had not previously prefaced your "experience" in this particular sector of relationships, how was anyone to know you had actually experienced this, and not, say, read it out of a book?

[PureGoldF2K1]

Thanks for all the replies! And also thanks for helping me out even though i know how incredibly petty and adolescent this problem sounds!! But its summer, thats my excuse.

Final decision: Not gonna freak out...even though we don't talk for long or very in depth, I'm still getting that phone call everyday, even this week when he's down at a beach house in Ocean City.

(and James-thanks for being so honest! )

Now if anyone else ever needs blind reassurance...come to me! I'm a GREAT listener!

[fire1977]

I know that you are just obsessing about this because of the summer.

HOWEVER, really PureGoldF2K1 - and I'm not just saying this because I have to - you are such an amazing young woman. You're sweet and caring and one of the nicest people I know. It's really an honor to call you my sister so poop on him if he can't see how special you are and how much fun it is to talk to you!

And PureGoldF2k1 really is a good listener - she listens to my stupid sorority stories all the time!!

Love ya' girlie . I miss you all bunches - can't wait until you get back!! Are you doing arrival survival?

[PureGoldF2K1]

you dont know how much that means to me fire1977!!!



quick update because i will no longer be freaking out....

i get a phone call from the boy after he got home from his 10 days at the beach (10 days in which we didnt hang out at all) and i quote: "i had such a shitty week without you!"


i think things are JUST fine

[azdtaxi]

Originally posted by PureGoldF2K1
you dont know how much that means to me fire1977!!!



quick update because i will no longer be freaking out....

i get a phone call from the boy after he got home from his 10 days at the beach (10 days in which we didnt hang out at all) and i quote: "i had such a shitty week without you!"


i think things are JUST fine

Very happy for you