Assisting someone with Cocaine Addiction - Page 2

smiley21 · #16 07-19-2004, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Why invovle yourself in this at all? Whats in it for you?

Why would you invest a lot of emotional resources into a situation where you have little to no control over the person's life?

Isn't that just an invitation to pain?

I mean if you have the extra cash, send him to rehab.

If he is a recreational user, its on him to stop. If he is an addict, he is probbaly going to need meds to stop, because he won't like the pain. Most people fear and hate pain.

I mean what kind of support can you possibly offer when its basically up to him?

i agree. take it from someone who knows. do not involve yourself with him. it will do you no good and it will do him no good. support him in his addiction? is he serious? say no. i went out with a guy who was an addict. not a good idea. if the addict is not willing to quit then he is of no benefit to you. why are you there if he doesnt want treatment? YOU deserve better than that. tell him when he wants help then he can have your support. other than that, you are wasting your time.

PM_Mama00 · #17 07-19-2004, 01:23 PM

I was always there for ex #1 because I was his friend. What's so wrong with that? If you're this person's friend, then you'll stick by them to the end.

winneythepooh7 · #18 07-19-2004, 01:24 PM

well the PERSON that is looking for help realizes he has a problem. i'm not sure how much at this point it is to the point that it is a full-blown addiction as they are still able to hold down a steady job, hold onto their income, etc.(although this is also my not having a lot of knowledge about addiction~~I am not saying that there is any type of "safe level" of drug use, or anything along those lines). They are aware that their use of cocaine has led them down a destructive path and they ARE willing to make a change (at least at this point APPEAR to be willing to). in any event, some of you have alluded to why i would want to involve myself in helping a person with a drug "problem" and to answer your question, I am not sure if I will actually be able to help them, as I too agree that they are the ones that need to do the work. I do see nothing wrong in being supportive and providing encouragement to them to set new goals as well as get away from the negative peers they are used to involving themselves with. This is a personal choice I have made, I understand that many people would not want to be involved in a situation like this and would choose to walk away from my friend. That is another observation I have made in working with substance abusers, that they don't really have any positive supports in their life which is another major reason for the continued drug use.

winneythepooh7 · #19 07-19-2004, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
I was always there for ex #1 because I was his friend. What's so wrong with that? If you're this person's friend, then you'll stick by them to the end.

Thank you. I agree. There is more to a person than their "substance abuse".

smiley21 · #20 07-19-2004, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
I was always there for ex #1 because I was his friend. What's so wrong with that? If you're this person's friend, then you'll stick by them to the end.

i stuck by my guy too. i am still with him now. he has been clean since last nov. i watched his addiction for over two years. it left me so emotional drained that i wondered what was i doing. sure it was great being his friend, but there are limits. if he goes back to drugs, then i am leaving. no one should have to go through that.

smiley21 · #21 07-19-2004, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
Thank you. I agree. There is more to a person than their "substance abuse".

i know there is. but there is so much that you can do. but this person asked you to support his addiction. you should support his desire to get clean.

PM_Mama00 · #22 07-19-2004, 01:30 PM

I agree with you, Smiley, about if they go back to using that you're gone. And that's awesome of you to stick by, even tho it had negative effects on you.

winneythepooh7 · #23 07-19-2004, 01:31 PM

I see what you are saying Smiley. There comes times where you have to set limits. It is hard when you are personally involved with someone and there is a history involved there. Don't they call that "tough love"? I see situations happen like this regularly with clients I work with where the family continues to enable the client. I have a client who is currently using and it has been recommended time and time again he go to a MICA residence, however, the family keeps taking him back every time he relapses or ends up in the hospital. I think that it is good to change the majority of a person's environment/surroundings to help them get successfully on the road to recovery.

winneythepooh7 · #24 07-19-2004, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by smiley21
i know there is. but there is so much that you can do. but this person asked you to support his addiction. you should support his desire to get clean.

You mistook my words. The person wants me to assist them in maintaining his being clean, NOT support him in using. I could never think of a good reason for that, that makes just no sense ?????????

Peaches-n-Cream · #25 07-19-2004, 01:40 PM

A big reason why addicts don't have a support system is because they have alienated the people who loved them before the addiction took hold. It's a chicken or the egg situation. Which came first the addiction or the lack of a support system?

You're a good person for wanting to help this person, but I think that you should consider the reasons why and the possible consequences. You could wind up sacrificing a lot and experiencing a lot of pain. This person needs to be committed to sobriety in order to be successful. Good luck to you and your friend.

winneythepooh7 · #26 07-19-2004, 01:58 PM

Thanks. I think I am making the situation out to sound a lot worse then it may be (at least I hope it is more positive then negative but then again, that can be contributing to my own lack of knowledge). Ummm, it is really interesting to note that this person and their friends present as people having their shit totally together and NOT having any kinds of issues~~~they are all extremely smart, talented and appear to be on the right track. SO I guess that all comes down to how do you know when it really is a major problem? I think the fact that my friend has told me they have a problem shows that is is something to be concerned about. Also they have admitted to having had suicidal thoughts in the past (not current).

krazy · #27 07-19-2004, 02:03 PM

One of the most important things to understand is that this type of behavior is NOT okay, and NOT normal, regardless of how many of his/her friends do it on a regular basis. That is key in understanding the importance of this. Also, if they seriously want help, they need to stop contributing to the scene. They cannot keep going out and drinking/partying with the same people and expect to stop using. I have seen it too many times. First determine if this person really wants to quit, or if they are telling you this simply so you do not look down upon them. It is very easy for these types of people to have no intention of quitting, yet tell their non-using friends that they want their help to stay on their good side... Good luck, drastic measures must be taken to truely quit something like this.

_Lisa_ · #28 07-19-2004, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by winneythepooh7
PMMAMA and Crzcyxsorry if I spelled them wrong):

How do you assess them for their amount of drug use?

You don't assess someone for their amount of drug use. Any drug use calls for rehabilitation & assessing the amount of drug use or rehab needed is the job of a professional.

_Lisa_ · #29 07-19-2004, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
I was always there for ex #1 because I was his friend. What's so wrong with that? If you're this person's friend, then you'll stick by them to the end.

I used to agree until I realized that it was tearing my life apart by being their friend. Unless someone recognizes that they have a problem & is proactive about helping themself it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to help them. I promised that I would never ever leave their side but slowly they were wearing me down & my life was falling apart. It was then that I realized that you can't help someone until they help themself first.

winneythepooh7 · #30 07-19-2004, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by crzychx
You don't assess someone for their amount of drug use. Any drug use calls for rehabilitation & assessing the amount of drug use or rehab needed is the job of a professional.

Yah. I see what you are saying. I think it is easy for us if we care about someone as a defense mechanism to think "well they only use on the weekends so they aren't hurting themselves". How do we know how much is too much? We don't. Especially because of the issue of overdose and all other dangerous behavior related to drug use. When I see people my age who are using on a regular basis a red flag definately goes up because this doesn't seem like normal behavior to me. It is one thing if it is maybe once every blue moon or something but regularly that's a problem. It is almost like the people who go binge drinking and black out, you have to ask yourself "why"? It deeply points to a bigger problem.