Age Difference

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by cashmoney
5 years difference at the max. Anymore than that and there will be problems at some point. Whether you're 20, 25, 30, 40, 45....you dont need more than 5 yrs apart if it's someone you want to marry or be with in a long term sense. Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons. Men loose their sexual drive a lot earlier than women, men go through their mid-life crisis and having a younger woman is fine....but when women go through theirs, having a much older man won't be good.

Hello?! This is why I prefer to date younger men. I don't want some old lump who's going to be losing his sex drive when mine is at its peak, lol. Why assume that an age difference always means older man/younger woman?

Anyway, Mr. valkyrie is 6 1/2 years younger than I am and it's really never even been an issue. Sometimes it weirds me out a little when he mentions something like when he graduated high school and that happens to be after I graduated college, but we've had no problems with it and have been together for over two years. Personality-wise, I think I'm better off with a younger guy because I like someone who is fun loving, flexible and not too set in his ways (and of course there's the whole sex thing ).

I'm sure that there are instances where an age difference could be a problem -- as discussed above, it could be tricky when deciding whether or when to have kids, for example if one person is to the point where he/she wants kids and the other feels too young -- but that's not going to be a problem for me since I don't want them anyway. I think the age issue, like any dating issue, just comes down to knowing yourself and figuring out what you're comfortable with and what you're looking for from another person. That being said, as long as everyone is an adult, I don't think that there is any ideal limit.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
I feel the same way, L PiPhi...my dad took up snow skiing when he was 49, and he goes at least a few times every year....and he is now 59 (and I'm 21). He just bought a new motorcycle for himself. He golfs just about every free weekend. He swims in our pool and is looking for a gym to join so he can lift. If anything, having a child later in life kept him younger longer.

I didnt say a dad wouldnt be active....I ment active with his kid when he is young. How many 45/50 yr olds do you know play basketball, football and baseball with their sons ( and I'm not meaning just playing catch)? How many 45/50 yr olds do you know that go golfing with their 10,11, 12 yr old? Sure, having younger people in your life will keep you active.....but can you do the those things with your Kid very often when you're at that age? Going to a gym is one thing...but I've never seen any man in any gym working out with his 10,11,12,13,14 or 15 yr old when he's 45/50/55/60 yrs old. When I wrote about being active the post said being active with his children often. Going skiing with your 10-15 yr old once or twice a yr isnt being active with your kids.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by cashmoney
I didnt say a dad wouldnt be active....I ment active with his kid when he is young. How many 45/50 yr olds do you know play basketball, football and baseball with their sons ( and I'm not meaning just playing catch)? How many 45/50 yr olds do you know that go golfing with their 10,11, 12 yr old? Sure, having younger people in your life will keep you active.....but can you do the those things with your Kid very often when you're at that age? Going to a gym is one thing...but I've never seen any man in any gym working out with his 10,11,12,13,14 or 15 yr old when he's 45/50/55/60 yrs old. When I wrote about being active the post said being active with his children often. Going skiing with your 10-15 yr old once or twice a yr isnt being active with your kids.

When I was 10. My dad was 42. He was active with me. He would play catch with me, he taight me how to ride my bike and would bike with me. If I asked, he would. Even my mother we used to play tennis together. older parents are active with their children if they choose to be and are healthy.
You make it sound like every 40 year old is living in geriatric mode and should be placed in a home.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by cashmoney
I didnt say a dad wouldnt be active....I ment active with his kid when he is young. How many 45/50 yr olds do you know play basketball, football and baseball with their sons ( and I'm not meaning just playing catch)? How many 45/50 yr olds do you know that go golfing with their 10,11, 12 yr old? Sure, having younger people in your life will keep you active.....but can you do the those things with your Kid very often when you're at that age? Going to a gym is one thing...but I've never seen any man in any gym working out with his 10,11,12,13,14 or 15 yr old when he's 45/50/55/60 yrs old. When I wrote about being active the post said being active with his children often. Going skiing with your 10-15 yr old once or twice a yr isnt being active with your kids.

Ok, how about this...my dad was my softball coach every year from when I was 5 to when I was 16, he was 43-54 (and I was the one who stopped playing because I got a job). AND he was a league chair. And I'm not talking he sat on the bench and made the line up...he hit balls, played catch, taught girls to slide, taught girls to pitch (spent HOURS catching for me so I could practice pitching, and then when I switched to catching, he spent hours pitching to me), coached 3rd base. I'm not a boy so no, we didn't play football, but we did shoot at the basketball hoop over the garage every once and awhile (I was never a real basketball fan). And actually, yes, when I was 12, 13, 14 (him, 50, 51, 52) we went to the gym together. We did treadmills and weight equip together. Still think my dad is old and inactive with me?

[cashmoney]

Say what you want. Still, it's not common. Yours is one out of how many fathers in this country? 100,000,000 give or take? Stop getting so defensive.

[lyrica9]

i think its less about age and more about maturity.
the summer before my senior year of high school (when i was 17) i went on a few dates with this guy who was 24.

then when summer band started i met and started dating a 14 year old freshman who was way more fun and mature than the other guy i had dated that summer.

i'm with valkyrie.. i've always had more of a thing for younger guys. 2 years is a good amount.
1987 was a good year. oh god, i sound like a pedophile.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by cashmoney
Say what you want. Still, it's not common. Yours is one out of how many fathers in this country? 100,000,000 give or take? Stop getting so defensive.

I'm not getting defensive. I am stating my opinion.

Secondly my father is not in your country, and it's not all that uncommon.
More and more people are having children later in life, because or careers, money, or simply because because they wish to do things without having to worry about children.
Stop acting like your way is the end all and be all of life.

[sororitygirl2]

My parents had me at 40 and it was never a problem. But, for the most part, I think a lot of Cash's comments are pretty right on, or at least good theories.

Just a question - can you extend the limit to six years!!! Please??? It would really suit my current situation!!!

[PureGoldF2K1]

For some reason, it just feels different when its the girl who's older. My ex-boyfriend is 23 and I'm 21....the guy I'm currently with is 19....its the exact same age difference, just reversed...and it feels like I'm so much older (not more mature, lol, just older) while with the 23 y/o, it felt like the same age. I dont know why this is because 19 and 21 are not far apart, and no matter what my best friend likes to say to me, I'm not "robbing the cradle" haha (am i?????) maybe its because when we met I was a junior and he was a freshman?? (greek sing partner...go figure...i always end up with a crush on whoever i'm paired with!!!)

[xo_kathy]

My fiance is 14 years older than me. We started dating when I was 24 and he was 38. He's made me happier than any guy I've ever been with. He knows how to treat a woman, and take care of me, and still let me be independent. We do have to think about the future a little more than other copules. Like, after we get married next year we wil start trying for kids immediately so he won't be too old when we have them. But, heck, I'll be 29 by then. And I do talk about what I'll do when I'm in my late 60's and he might be dead, so I get a little sad about that sometimes. But I'd rather have the next 40 years of our life together and spend 10-15 without him than never have been with him. Besides, by then I will have beautiful children and maybe grandchildren that he was a part of, too. And I have decided I will move to Memphis and work as the receptioninst at our National HQ!!!

It truly does totally depend on the couple. People always thinkn it's weird until they see us together. We just fit.

It is really fun to figure out what wach of us was doing in any given year. I was 1 year old when he lost his virgingity! He was graduating college when I was 6 (hey, he went 2 years early, I would have been 8!)!

[cuaphi]

That's so sweet xokathy. My aunt married a man 15 years her senior and while she lost him to cancer a couple of years ago to become widowed in her mid 50's I'm sure she wouldn't have given up a second of the time they had together.

BTW- Your ring is gorgeous. Congratulations on your engagement!

[aephi alum]

Aside from the question of pedophilia/statutory rape, age is just a number. Maturity matters more.

A friend of mine, who just turned 30, is getting married this summer to a 23-year-old. She's very mature for her age, he's a bit immature for his age, so it works out well. Another friend of mine, who is 29, just married a 40-year-old.

I've dated guys up to 1 year younger and 3 years older - that's just the way things worked out. The guy who was 3 years older was way immature. My husband is 1 year older than I am, and just the right level of immature.

[xo_kathy]

Originally posted by cuaphi
That's so sweet xokathy. My aunt married a man 15 years her senior and while she lost him to cancer a couple of years ago to become widowed in her mid 50's I'm sure she wouldn't have given up a second of the time they had together.

So true. Heck, anyone's spouse could get hit by a bus tomorrow and they'd be widowed long before they intended. I mean, sure, I might be younger than average when I lose mine, but it's a price I'm willing to pay!

[4RunnerStar]

i dont really have issues with age. i'm 18 and my boyfriend will be 23 in august. i prefer older men. i dont think i could ever date a guy younger than me. it just feels too weird.

i can say that i've been with my boyfriend since december and we have yet to really fight. we had a small arguement about a petty issue MONTHS AGO that prolly wont ever come up again. i thought he was mad at me and told him to call me when he wasnt and he called me right back. thats it. i have also never felt safer with anybody in this world, but that could be because of his job.

he is at the age where he's ready to get married and it scares me to death. but i really cant see myself without him. everything just feels "right" when i'm with him. i'm in love with him. its a first for me. he knows it even though i never really say it. go figure. but i will tough it out as long as i can to see what happens cause marriage scares me but being without him scares me even more. i've tried breaking up with him a time or two before but i only did it cause i was scared. i knew i was getting too close and i didnt want to because it doesnt hurt when its over. but i'd tell him that it just wasnt going to work out because of our jobs and me leaving for school next month but he always blows it off and says dont worry about it and changes the subject. he's a cop/firefighter and i also work for a fire department and rescue squad so at any given time we're called out for the most dangerous or dumbest reasons. like just now, he was called to a rollover and i'm working rescue tonight so i'll see him at 7AM when our shifts end and i meet him at his house to go to sleep. for some reason i find it really hard to sleep when he's not there. especially if he's working.

so i guess my view on the age difference is kind of obvious.

[FiReKraCkEr]

My boy is a year younger than me... BUT he acts like he's 10 years older, which I find incredibly sexy I think he likes the fact I'm "older"

For some reason, I like younger guys...just year or a few months. It NEVER works out with me and older guys. *shrugs*