Ethnic Assumptions in the Workplace

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
Maybe this should go under politics, but I wanted to put it where a lot of people would see it. It might be kinda long, so I apologize in advance.

I work in an office where I'm the only Black person. I'm also the only American, the only woman, and the only non-Christian, but those are different topics for different threads.

The CEO of the small start-up where I work is Chinese. He was educated in the US but he has limited experience with African Americans. Before he left on a business trip to Hawaii, I heard him talking to one of the partners on the phone. He said "When I come back you might not recognize me. I might be as dark as Sistermadly!" -- and I was sitting right there.

The other day, the subject of religion came up (I was dreading it). He asked me whether I'd found a church home in town, and I told him that while I had some ideas about God, that I don't like churches and church politics. He said "Oh, that's surprising. I would have assumed that a person from your group would be deeply religious. Isn't that usually the case?"

Now - I've learned to let a lot slide since moving up here from the US, mainly because there aren't that many of us (black folks) in this neck of the woods, so I really didn't think anything about it. However, when I told a few other people about it, they got really mad. What do you do when people make assumptions based on your race, religion, or gender in the workplace?

Your boss is testing your limits. How far can he go to piss you off based on his ASSumptions about your heritage.

That is why your few other people got pissed off because they may have had him say some isht to them, too.

Just like James said, you need to "turn the tables on him" and see how far he climbs if you want it nipped in the bud. Otherwise he will continue and disrespect you the more he does his so called poking and proding.

The "I will be just as black as Sistermadly comment"--I'd a said something crazy like, "you know, no amount of SPF can protect you from malignant melanoma..." Or even more profound, that you can only dream of fathoming the quality of my complexion... Just to let him KNOW that you are on to his little gameplan... Then you can see how far he wants to be FCUKin' with you...

And his bewilderment of your choice in religion, I dunno, cuz I walk in the Spirit and I don't understand why some folks choose not to. But I'd a said something on the lines of, "Oh, what church do you go to." Then see what he says. Then I'd ask him some series of religious and philosophical questions. Just to see what he says. Then, I would say, well, "I'll pray for you..." The African Ancestors believed that "incantations" would ward off evilness with actively acknowledgment of one's ugliness--just with saying they will pray for them... That is Afrikan American Spirituality...

So, whether he is stupid or not, either way, he is your boss and he knows that it is inappropriate to vocalize those kinds of statements in the workplace...

[Sistermadly]

I see what you're getting at AKA_Monet, but I really think it's more a case of he just doesn't have any experience with Black people, and therefore, doesn't know when something might be a touchy subject. Also, everyone else who works in the office (there are 7 of us) is Christian, and the topic of faith comes up quite a bit from what I gather.

The other people I mentioned this to were not co-workers.

When you live an an area where Black people are only 0.6% of the population, and when a large number of people in the population are foreign-born, the chances that someone will make a socially/professionally inappropriate comment are quite high. If people don't know, they just don't know -- and I can't fault them for their limited life experiences.

I do appreciate your input, though. If something like this happens again, I think I'll use it as an opportunity to do some education.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Sistermadly,
I've found that people from other countries don't have the same sensitivity toward race and other personal issues that we do.

Yes, that's been my experience too. It takes some getting used to, and I have to remind myself that what happens in the West doesn't happen everywhere else. In some ways, I appreciate that kind of frankness more so than the "niceties" that we're taught in the US.

ETA-
he he, I re-read your post and I realized that I didn't answer your question at all. Whoops.

No, you answered it. It's tough when you have to face these kinds of assumptions. I guess what matters most is how you deal with them when they arise.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by lifesaver
People are always gonna have stereoytpes. You have to live your life in a way that shatters the common stereotype. You might be the only (fill in the blank) a person ever meets. Therefore you will represent your group to them. Its a lot of crap to put on a person, but thats just the way it is.

Lifesaver,

You're right -- it is a heavy burden to carry, and most days I don't feel like being the Negro ambassador. What's really tough about it is that in by having to live my life as an example to others, I can't ever have an off day. If I have an off day, who's to say that people won't start reacting like "Oh, those Black people all have nasty attitudes?"

Some days I'd just like to be able to disappear into a fog of normalcy, but then if I did that, I'd lose those things that make me unique.

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by Sistermadly

You're right -- it is a heavy burden to carry, and most days I don't feel like being the Negro ambassador. What's really tough about it is that in by having to live my life as an example to others, I can't ever have an off day. If I have an off day, who's to say that people won't start reacting like "Oh, those Black people all have nasty attitudes?"

Some days I'd just like to be able to disappear into a fog of normalcy, but then if I did that, I'd lose those things that make me unique.

Absolutely. Remember, God gave that burden to us becasue he knew we could handle it. Ideally, we should live our lives that way becasue we strive to be better people and to live a life closer to the teachings of our rituals. But if we can be examples and change perceptions, what a bonus and gift. BTW: Normal is nothing more than a setting on the washing machine. lol.

[XOMichelle]

Originally posted by Sistermadly

No, you answered it. It's tough when you have to face these kinds of assumptions. I guess what matters most is how you deal with them when they arise.

It's hard to be in a new place with new cultural subtleties. It looks like you are dealing very well!

Where do you live?

[33girl]

Originally posted by ktsnake
Careful when trying to "educate" your boss. You may end up insulting him. Bosses have license to do that sometimes on some level. And if it's something you can put up with, I'd just let it be... go with the flow.

It would be different if he was a casual aquaintance -- but he's not, he's your boss. And unless you want to sue or something for discrimination/harassment (which it doesn't sound like you're even remotely close to that), maybe it's just something you could let slip by?

What if her boss makes a comment like that to a Black person whose business he is trying to get? He'd probably blame the ensuing fallout on Sistermadly for not educating him.

This sounds like a case of someone who is smart as far as IQ but sorely lacking in common sense. Educate him. He needs it.