How much time single?

[sigtau305]

been single for the longest time. never been married. the longest time I have dated someone was 4 years.

[MrsMcCartney]

A relationship therapist would probably have a field day with me. I have not been totally single since prior to February 1988...before that I was kind of the typical high school gal drifting from boy to boy, nothing serious. But when I started dating my ex it got serious very quickly. We were going strong for a little over 2 years, when I started to get a bit restless. My ex was pretty much a psycho and I was very dependent upon him emotionally because he really was my best friend....almost like having a cool gay guy to hang out with (actually, if he had been gay he would have been perfect....he'd still be my best girlfriend!) I started going out with someone else behind his back who had no real boyfriend potential in my eyes but with whom I shared a tremendous physical connection. After that I tried to break up with my ex but he wouldn't go....it just got easier to let him think he was still around. So I was still involved with him throughout my first two years of college even though we both hung out with other people as well. He got to the point where he refused to see other girls, no matter what I was doing, and pressed the issue of a serious future. But I just kept on dating other people and actually got to the point where I pretty much abused the arrangement. Fortunately, he transferred to school on the other end of the country, and I was able to really branch out and meet people without having to worry about him. That was when my husband and I began dating, and I finally called my ex and told him I was in love with someone else. Even then he didn't totally leave me alone until after I had been married for about a year! It sounds pretty cold and heartless on my side but I didn't want to make a post that took up three pages, so I just cut to the point. But this guy was a frightening type of psycho, like a major stalker type, and I did what was necessary to have a life. I don't know what I would do with myself if I were suddenly on my own now!

[DigitalAngel126]

I've been 'dating'/in relationships for 6 years and I'd say only a solid year of that has been spent attatched (total, not on one single guy). I believe James' statement is true.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

I have to agree with James as well..........

The longest I've dated a guy was just about a year. I've been fully single for a little more than a year now.

Not sure how we're defining "serious relationship" but I've never lived with any guy and I never got to seriously thinking I could be married to anyone.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by valkyrie
Who is they?

They is James.

Dated for six months and did the stupid on/off thing for six months
Dated for a month and did the stupid on/off thing for six months WHILE doing the on/off thing with the other one two
Single for a year
Dated for a year
Single for two days (meep!)
Dated for eighteen months
Single from then until the present

I wouldn't really call this a single time for me since a lot of it has been spent grieving, but taking my single year as a high school junior was a really good idea on my part.

[ZTAngel]

I really don't think relationships stunts an individual's growth. Maybe only for those who identify themself through the person they're dating but people who do that have more problems than maturity stunted by a relationship. I would also like to know who "they" is. cough*James*cough
When you think about it, it was only really our generation that people wait until they are 25-35 to get married. People were getting married at 18 years old. I know that my grandmother was married at 18 and my grandfather was her one serious relationship. They've been married for over 50 years and I wouldn't call them "immature" or say that a relationship stunted their growth as a person.
Anyway, I have spent much of my time single. It's only been recently that I've had a long term relationship. Let's see my relationship list:
Dated for 1 month
Single for 8 months
Dated 3 months
Single 1 year
Dated 1 year
Single 14 months
Dated 3 years and still presently in this relationship

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Hmmm.....I've hardly been single.

Dated for 2 years to M
Single for 2 weeks
Currently dating D for 2 1/2 years

So..I haven't really been single since I was 15 (when I turned 16 I was dating M) and now I'm 20!

Hmm... well, I didn't start dating until I was almost 18 (I'm 24 now), but let's see...

Dated M for a few months,
single about 2 months
Dated A for a few months,
single about 6 months
Dated J for almost a year
single for about 4 months
Dated a LOT of people, but none serious for about two years
Dated N for 8 months
Did on/off thing with N for another 6 months
Single for about 6 months
met, dated, and became engaged to the final Mr. Ginger!

So thats... about a year and a half single out of 6 years... not counting the two year casual dating stretch.

[sugar and spice]

I agree with James that being in a relationship too much can stunt your personal development.

But I also think that not being in a relationship enough can stunt your "interpersonal development." Like everything else in life, the key is balance.

[alphaiota]

you said it sugar! i feel i need to date a bit more to help me develop my interpersonal skills. i admit i haven't dated much and i should get some more experience. my longest relationship (not by choice) was only 3 months.

shelley j
sigma k

[CarolinaDG]

Originally posted by ZTAngel

Dated for 1 month
Single for 8 months
Dated 3 months
Single 1 year
Dated 1 year
Single 14 months
Dated 3 years and still presently in this relationship

OK, so there's still hope for me?

Since college:
Dated for 3 months, broke up, started "talking" again for 2 months
Single for 2 years, but went on two dates with a guy
Dated for 3 months
Single for 1 year
Dated for 3 months
Single since December

For some reason, I can't get past the 3 month point.... The first guy broke up with me on our 3 month anniversary, and that's my longest relationship.

[ZTAngel]

There's still hope.
There was a point in my life where I honestly thought I was going to wind up being a cat lady. Except I'm allergic to cats.... I was way too picky. I didn't want any of the guys that were great to me and only wanted the guys who were emotionally unavailable. I could've written an episode for Sex and the City with some of the things I went through during my single days. I think the problem I had was that I was looking at my parents' relationship which is so stable and happy. They were married at 22 after meeting during their freshman year in college. I was a sophomore in college and I was freaking out because I just couldn't find a decent guy. I guess I learned that a relationship will happen eventually and to not worry about feeling like your "prime" years are almost over. I learned not to start worrying about that until I'm like 45 and still haven't found someone.
But, currently, I'm happy with the guy I'm with.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by ariesrising
Single = too much time

Yep this is me. I've been single for way too long. However, I'm mostly cool with it.

[Jill1228]

Was with my college sweetheart from Feb 86 till November 88. Heart breaking break up. Didn't date (or anything else) for a little over 2 years.

From 1990-November 1997. Hurt finally settled in 1990. I just did casual dating, nothing serious at all

From November 97-met my husband, we dated a little over 4 years and got married in December 2001

[alphaiota]

yeah, i've been single since august. i've been trying to find a guy, but i just keep getting frustrated with the whole dating scene. i'm ready to just become a bonafied lesbian. lol, j/k

shelley j
sigma k