Fellow Sisterfriends: Hand Out or Hand Up

[Mahogany04]

Sorry guys; I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't say that ll the information is redundant because, you can never learn everything there is to know about AKA. Even after one gains membership, there is so much to learn. The history is ongoing; and it would take a lifetime to learn everything. I wrote that the information on the internet starts to get a little redundant after a while. Of course there are so many other sources out there, which I have used to faniliraize myself with the history. One really good one is "The Divine Nine." OKay ladies, I'll have to chat later. I have to go.

" Without struggle, there is no progress."
-----Frederick Douglas

[Mahogany04]

familiarize sorry

[nikki25]

It's interesting that you've noted a key thing about your search: that you've been researching for 3 years. That's a huge commitment of time and resources. Information, like any valued commodity is something to treasure. According to your post, it doesn't seem as if your "friends" are genuinely valuing information. I would advise you to not release the information you've gathered throughout the course of your search.

Think of it this way: If you and an equally qualified friend were vying for the same job, would you share all of the information that you have? I don't think so. You'd probably share selected pieces of information that would ensure that you had the competitive advantage. You may choose to share nothing. The same may apply here.



[This message has been edited by nikki25 (edited June 18, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Sisterfriend, Mahogony 04,

I had no intention to challenge you or question your knowledge. Again, I was just making a point that the information is not redundant. Niether did I consider your post a personal attack, I am dissapointed that you considered mine to be such. As AKA2D '91, said "we" meaning Sisterfriends are not on a team as of yet, I know some interestees who will "probably" be selected and some of them I am already close to. But I now know that I will only share my book with my linesisters who are assigned to me by the Chapter members "IF" I am selected. Over 65 girls attended the interest meeting I attended. When they have Rush that fiqure will increase, they will not choose everyone..therefore that makes it a contest. I would like to be one of the finishers.

On that lighter note, Memberfriend Kitten03, I have found the stories of the founders and theirs lives after chartering Alpha Kappa Alpha to be very interesting. The death of Majorie Hill is very sad. She was honored by being the first and I often wonder why she died so young but have not been able to find a concrete answer I am definitely a Nosy Nellie, I have been up till two in the morning reading through books and searching the different websites. The Divine Nine is a good piece of reference but I have found other sources to be even more valuable. Some Chapters put more on their websites than others. It is a WONDERFUL journey and I am loving every minute of it.

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited June 19, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Thank you to ALL the young ladies who posted a response to my question. I was nervous about starting a topic but desperately wanted advice. I respect everyone's opinions and I pray that we (Sisterfriends) all make it to membership. However, as one of my favorite members of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity says, "Many are Called, but Few are Chosen," He knows who he is, probably. But the point is now I understand what you ladies are saying and I guess that is why I sensed my own reluntance to share information and asked the question to be assured that I was not being selfish. Again, thank you again for your input.

[SableCherub]

i would hope though that if you withold information from another sisterfriend it is not for self-serving reasons...like you are afraid they will get in and you won't...it should only be because maybe they are not ready for it...and at the time you came into the information...you were ready for it...to digest it and not flaunt it...it should be so that they find their own path...not because you are trying to obstruct theirs out of fear...

[InquiringMind]

ENDROAD, I can feel where you're coming from. I have been researching and collecting information almost daily for the past year and a half. I have been to nearly every webpage listed under greekpages.com, gone thru nearly every book available, and talked to God knows how many Greeks to obtain info on not only Alpha Kappa Alpha, but the other 8 NPHC BGLOs as well. As it has been said before, most of the information is easily accesible. No one knows where or what's in my notebook, but if someone that I know is also SERIOUSLY interested and in DIRE need of help, I will do all that I can to help. I'll point you in the right direction, but that's it--I'm not going to give you anything.

[Soulful Soror]

This one is a hard one. I know some older sorors who's mouths would drop at the notion of SF's not wanting to help each other. I was always told the "sisterliness/bond" begins long before your selection. You should know everybody that is chosen right along with you (maybe not their life story, but enough)....but, then, there IS the discretion that has to be figured into deciding who you share your info with..whenever I got new info, I called my sisterfriends to update them & vice versa. A lot of times that cross referencing brought misinformation to light (and, saved what could have been a SUPER embarrassing moment)..this may have been mentioned before, but what if you don't share info with a SF & she makes it..while you remain a SF..that may not sit well w/her..and, you could become known as an unsisterly Sister Friend..like I said, this is a hard one..

[AKA4MJ2]

Originally posted by Soulful Soror:
....You should know everybody that is chosen right along with you (maybe not their life story, but enough)....but, then, there IS the discretion that has to be figured into deciding who you share your info with..whenever I got new info, I called my sisterfriends to update them & vice versa.

Soror, I agree with you 108%... It is about discretion!!!!ENDROAD, this person that you are contemplating sharing info with, how well do you know his person? How close are you? Or is it a group of people? I ask this because, I too answered these same questions. And I was able to share with 1 person that I am very cool with. For me it is a respect thing! If you are not bringing nothing to the table, then do not expect me to give you all of my meal!!!IF this person have not done any researching or just the minimal (and you probably can reasonably determine this), then maybe you can offer some kind SF advice and point that person in the right direction.

Off the subject....

Someone mentioned this, and it has been bothering every since.....It may have been in this or another thread...

But the statement was " ...that they hope ALL SF make it into Alpha Kappa Alpha." AND I have to beg to differ! And I say this only because everyone is not meant or is made to be a lady of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Some Sorors may agree, some may not. Maybe it was just a kind gesture...

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Alpha Kappa Alpha till the day I die!

I am at home......

[Alias_01]

I have been a serious interestee for about a year and a half and only in the last 6 months have I done some serious researching, partially because I did a research paper on BGLOs. Through the use of the internet I have amassed my own collection of information from websites such as the National website of the fraternity, the individual chapter's website and various other sites. Talking with members, I've even read the Divine Nine from cover to cover. So my acquired knowledge of what I want to pursue is very thorough. But I'm always looking for more to study up on. Does anyone know of any good websites I should check out?

Peace and Love
-Alias_01

[ENDROAD]

Memberfriend AKA2D ‘91,

That is EXACTLY what I am talking about. I would be EXTREMELY upset if a Sisterfriend I had so diligently assisted just happened to be selected and I was not. There are only so many places to be filled on any Chapter's agenda, I presume, so I want to be sure that I receive a place, the rest just has to be set aside. I gave advice so freely recently but had to restrain myself when I saw my other Sisterfriends using this advice to gain favor with the Chapter Members. I consider myself to be a very kind person so, it was hard for me to come to a conclusion on my own regarding this matter. However, I see that all of the responses have told me to basically "Keep It To My Self" and "Allow Others To Do Their Own Work." Is there anyone out there who disagrees, I would like to hear your side also. This is very important to me and I think it will help other Sisterfriends too, both those who HAVE researched and those who HAVE NOT researched on their own.

I will share this verse that has assisted me in being patient through life and as I travel on my journey to Alpha Land, (no disrespect intended).

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
Wellllll.

I PERSONALLY feel that you should "keep it to yourself". That is a compilation of YOU collecting data, materials, etc. JUST LIKE YOU DID IT, SOMEONE ELSE CAN GET OUT THERE AND HUSTLE THEIR BUTTS off and get the SAME information.

You don't have to tell the SF EXACTLY where you got the information, you can, however, steer her in the RIGHT DIRECTION.

That's just my personal opinion.

Something extra to think about. What if YOU give SF ABC ALL of your information AND SHE MAKES IT and YOU DON'T, how would you feel?

[Riley]

AKA2D '91 At THIS juncture, a TEAM DOES NOT exist! So, right now, it's about I making the TEAM!
Whatever happens AFTER the team has been chosen is ANOTHER thread!

This is so true. I was told this many times! Seeking membership is not a group effort. You have to put your best foot forward and act is if your are the only one showing interest. Even though you may have a close friend who wants to join with you if she is not pulling her weight with research, sorry to say she will get left behind.

P.S. if you read my earlier post you will see there is more than just the web and books!

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[Riley]

AKA2D '91 At THIS juncture, a TEAM DOES NOT exist! So, right now, it's about I making the TEAM!
Whatever happens AFTER the team has been chosen is ANOTHER thread!

This is so true. I was told this many times! Seeking membership is not a group effort. You have to put your best foot forward and act is if your are the only one showing interest. Even though you may have a close friend who wants to join with you if she is not pulling her weight with research, sorry to say she will get left behind.

P.S. if you read my earlier post you will see there is more than just the web and books!

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[ENDROAD]

Originally posted by Mahogany04:
Hi I'm the sisterfriend, who had only researched for three months. I just wanted to say that it's amazing if after three years you are still finding new information. There's only so much information on the internet before you starting running into redundant information. Also, there aren't very many books that we, as sisterfriends, have ready access to.

Sisterfriend Mahogony4,

I asked for opinions on whether or not I should share the information I have collected and you gave me yours. Therefore, I want to be clear that this response is not directed to that statement but the statements made in the part of your quote I copied above. No offense, okay, but you have proven my point of how different three months of research versus three years of research can make. No the information has not been redundant at ALL. In fact, I would like to pose a couple of questions to you on information that is available through some "general" and some "very deep" research. For Example: Can you name the 9 original Founders and the 7 Sophomores? What year was the 1st initiation held? What year and where was the first Ivy Leaf planted? Where did they get it from? How many Chapters are in the region you are interested in? True enough, I would probably learn all of this from the Chapter Members "IF" I am selected but I know they will also be impressed if I already know some things as well, I know because they have told me they already are and encouraged me to keep researching. Keep Striving Sisterfriends, My Prayers are with you ALL.

[sionnetier]

I am sorry, but in some ways personally I disagree. I have been researching for three years also. I am very discrete in my process, but if I see another person who is as serious as I am or even more, I will share certain information. I won't to anyone everything I know, but even if I or anyone else told them every ounce of information in the world, that WILL NOT GUARANTEE membership.

No matter how much you want to be a member, when it comes down to it they are going to pick who ever they want. Even if that does not include you.

I have given out information to serious prospects, but most of the information that I did keep to myself was information that directly had to do with certain eperiences with members I have had.

Also, why not share because someone else would have had to have shared information in some way or you wouldn't know what you know now.