Related to the 'First Name Basis' Thread

[Munchkin03]

I am not a child, so don't call me Miss. I address letters to my 8-year old niece as Miss Niece Munchkin03. It's been my experience that people will call me Miss when they think they are superior to me, not because they think I'm unmarried. When I get married, I won't be changing my name, so professionally I'll be Ms Munchkin03, still.

As for children, I hate hearing "Miss FirstName." Bah! It sounds straight out of the plantation (and I'm NOT with that one!). Either Ms. LastName, or a term of endearment, such as "Aunt FirstName."

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
I am not a child, so don't call me Miss. I address letters to my 8-year old niece as Miss Niece Munchkin03. It's been my experience that people will call me Miss when they think they are superior to me, not because they think I'm unmarried. When I get married, I won't be changing my name, so professionally I'll be Ms Munchkin03, still.

As for children, I hate hearing "Miss FirstName." Bah! It sounds straight out of the plantation (and I'm NOT with that one!). Either Ms. LastName, or a term of endearment, such as "Aunt FirstName."

Thanks for the reminder about the "straight out of the plantation."
I'm cool with Ms. LastName for kids. I am very picky about who can call me Aunt FirstName, however. My line sister's 2-year-old son can call me "Auntie FirstName" any time.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
I am not a child, so don't call me Miss. I address letters to my 8-year old niece as Miss Niece Munchkin03. It's been my experience that people will call me Miss when they think they are superior to me, not because they think I'm unmarried. When I get married, I won't be changing my name, so professionally I'll be Ms Munchkin03, still.

As for children, I hate hearing "Miss FirstName." Bah! It sounds straight out of the plantation (and I'm NOT with that one!). Either Ms. LastName, or a term of endearment, such as "Aunt FirstName."

Do you mean a child addressing a grown woman as Miss FirstName? Or the child being adddressed as Miss FirstName?

The doormen call the girls (under 18) in the building Miss Jennifer (or whatever the first name is) which I think sounds nice.

[PhiPsiRuss]

I think that there are both regional, and generational attitudes about "Miss" and "Ms."

"Miss" sounds very archaic in the North, unless you are talking to much older people. From reading this thread, "Miss" still sounds perfectly acceptable to many Southerners.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
Do you mean a child addressing a grown woman as Miss FirstName? Or the child being adddressed as Miss FirstName?

A child, or anyone really, addressing an adult female as "Miss Jessica."

The difference between Miss and Ms is certainly regional, although I am a Southerner who prefers Ms. That's probably 'cause the North corrupted me.

Originally posted by russellwarshay
I think that there are both regional, and generational attitudes about "Miss" and "Ms."

"Miss" sounds very archaic in the North, unless you are talking to much older people. From reading this thread, "Miss" still sounds perfectly acceptable to many Southerners.

I grew up in the North (Wisconsin) and I was brought up to always use honourifics. Generally a girl under 16 to 18 is Miss Firstname. Above that age but not married, Miss Lastname. Married... Mrs. Lastname.

I hate, hate, hate, "Ms." I am very vehement about this. I know it's not as common anymore, but in growing up "Ms." was a near insulting title, and I'm insulted to this day if it's used towards me.

I also will not call someone by his or her firstname (minus honourific) until I've known them a while. Not that I'll go around calling my college friends "Miss Lichter" or anything, but I will avoid using their name until I'm comfortable.

It makes my skin crawl to hear a child address an adult by his or her first name. It seems very disrespectful to me.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
A child, or anyone really, addressing an adult female as "Miss Jessica."

The difference between Miss and Ms is certainly regional, although I am a Southerner who prefers Ms. That's probably 'cause the North corrupted me.

Ok I see.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
That's probably 'cause the North corrupted me.

We prefer the term, "assimilated."

[thetanustew]

I am Southern and I suppose that is why--even though I am an adult--I still address people with Miss, Ms., Mrs., or Mr. before their last names (and I use Ms. unless I know for sure that the person uses Miss or Mrs. instead).

As I am in my mid-thirties, unmarried, and a professional, I use Ms. Thetanustew. Miss Thetanustew makes me feel like I am about six and still wearing my hair in pigtails! Mrs. Thetanustew is my mother because that is how she identifies herself. She was quite happy to go from being Miss Notthetanustew to Mrs. Thetanustew.

I am fortunate, though, that because of my job I can have people call me Professor Thetanustew...and in about six weeks, they can call me Dr. Thetanustew! That should solve ANY title problems.

Even with all the overeducation notwithstanding, I'd highly prefer to Ms. over Miss or Mrs. any day. Whether or not a man is married has nothing to do with how one addresses him. Whether I am married or not has nothing to do with how one should address me, either!

I have no idea why I am so dogmatic about this; none of the other women in my family on either side have ever used anything but Miss or Mrs. . . I suppose it's just one more way that I am the oddball in the group!

My two cents. Keep the change!

[aephi alum]

Someone once told me:

Miss Firstname or just Firstname for a girl under 18
Miss Lastname for an unmarried woman
Mrs. Hislastname for a married woman who had taken her husband's name (even if subsequently widowed or divorced)
Ms. Herlastname for a married woman who had kept her name, or a divorced woman who'd gone back to her maiden name

I disagree. To me, Ms. is a perfectly valid honorific for a woman, married or unmarried... it's "marriage-neutral." I did change my name when I got married, and I go by Ms. Hislastname. I don't mind too much if introduced as Mrs. Hislastname, but I prefer Ms.

When addressing other women, I usually go with Ms. unless she asks otherwise.

It did annoy me when someone introduced me to his 5yo son by my first name.

[honeychile]

Obviously, this is still an intensely personal issue. I've been a Miss, Mrs., and a Ms. I knew that I had arrived in my line of work (geriatric counseling) when I started to be called "Miss Honey" instead of "Honey" or "Ms. LastName"!

And, I address my clients that way - Miss Laura, Miss Murial, etc - unless they tell me otherwise. I've yet to have a complaint from someone who didn't have a form of dementia.

But outside of work, I suppose I prefer Ms. LastName. I really do think that too many children are too casual with adults, and that's one of the reasons that they have problems with authority. Sure, it makes me feel older - but with age comes wisdom.

[James]

Ok . . Am I missing something?

don't Ms. and Miss sound the exact same?

And generall i call aldies over 25 miss and under 25 ma'm.

[AGDee]

It all just depends on the situation I think. When I was coaching soccer, I was Coach First Name. As a Cub Scout den leader, I am Miss First Name. Most of my daughter's friends call me Mrs. LastName although the one I absolutely adore calls me Mrs. Shannon's Mom. She'll be the one who calls me mom as they get older. She's a sweet girl and very talkative with me and they have been best friends since Kindergarten (in 4th grade now). My kids' babysitters have primarily asked to be called Miss First Name, so that's what they call them. When I worked in adolescent psych in one hospital, we didn't want the kids knowing our last names so it was Miss FirstName. The next one I worked at, they wanted the kind of respect that teachers get so the staff were Mr./Miss/Mrs. Last Name. Then I had to get an unlisted number so they couldn't find me and that was a pain. Then I started telling them to call me Mrs. B (last initial).

It all just depends. I don't think that titles necessarily command respect. I think attitudes determine whether children respect you.

Dee

[Taualumna]

I think many people today, especially in the north and in larger centres in Canada confuse Ms and Miss. I've seen people online call the Miss American Pageant the "Ms American Pageant", and many of the Ms. Lastname women I know are unmarried. They say that they plan to switch to Mrs. Husbandsname if/when they marry. I also find that more traditional institutions automatically call you "Miss" unless you correct them. All my mailings from high school (and university) come as:

Miss Cynthia LASTNAME'98 (High school) or
Miss Cynthia LASTNAME 2002 (university)

[KillarneyRose]

My take on the situation ...

Mrs - I have no problem with this and, since I am married, that is how I refer to myself. The children of the other transplanted northerners I am friends with call me "Mrs. ------- "

Miss - Is how I liked to be addressed when I was single. The children of my southern friends call me "Miss Tracy" and I think that's cute

Ms. - I really don't like this. I believe this term was coined when I was a pretty young child in the early seventies (correct me if I'm wrong), and I always associate it with the hardcore women's libbers like Gloria Steinem (sp?) and also Bonnie Franklin's annoying character on "One Day at a Time" who insisted on being called "Ms. Romano" Like spandex pants, rainbow sequened tubetops and roller boogie, Ms should have stayed back in the seventies.

Ma'am - Didn't used to like it because it made me feel old. Now I AM old, however, so it doesn't bother me. Plus, being around military installations fairly frequently, you can't really avoid being called ma'am.