please help

[USFSDTAlum]

I'm not trying to start something with you. Its just BS when a bunch of people jump down some girls back and call her a whore without knowing the situation. Thats all I was trying to say. Maybe just maybe, not that those reason are right or correct or acceptable, but just maybe...she had reasons.

[moe.ron]

Sent in the ninjas, they'll take care of the problem.

But seriously, just tell him that it's just part of the experience that he has taken. The next question is how he is going to react to it. Is he going to let this be an experience that is going to weaken him or make him into a stronger man. I've experience racism too, but I just let it slide because racism is really insecurity. Tell him, that he should be secure of who he is and move on. In the long run, it's really nothing. Just a sentence in his life.

[James]

I am not sure calling her a whore directly would be useful . . but probbaly ranting about it to the guy that is injured might make him feel better for a little while.

Originally posted by USFstudent

So cut the girl some slack, it could very well be some BS and she could be a dime store hooker. But theres always two sides to every story. Just because everyone on this board is in the 21 st century and open minded, doesn't mean everyone is.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by USFstudent
I'm prolly going to get flamed for this, BUT,
She said her family wouldn't approve, not that she wasn't interested. Is it possible that this is valid?

That's exactly what I was going to say. She said her family wouldn't like it if she dated him...but did she say she didn't want to? I think her only mistake was that she was a little too honest. I understand not wanting to piss family off, since they can make things real hard, but she should have just told him she wouldn't go out with him. Period. No explanation. I know that my family would feel the same way hers does, but would I ever tell a guy that? Nooooooooooooo. I would simply say, "You'd be a nice friend, but I'm not interested in dating." Although, at this point in my life, I doubt I would discount a great guy like that because my family never approves anyway, but I realize that some people do feel the need to take into account what their family would do/say.

[aurora_borealis]

Originally posted by ktsnake
Thanks for stereotyping people in my state... Racism is the norm, right?

Kevin I know I told you about the Oklahomans that had words with a bigoted person...racism, discrimination, and hatred is EVERYWHERE.

It is that girl's loss and her problem. Let's hope that she becomes as strong as the rest of us someday to be able to follow what she wants and not her parents way of thinking. Not everyone is lucky enough to come from liberal openminded tolerant families. Yes she is an adult, and attending college, but if you grew up with attitudes like that at home, some are hard to break out of.

Calling her those names is breeding more negativity, you obviously love your brother, and we need more of that than calling women hookers and whores.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by mattpike
yesterday some really bad stuff went down. one of my best friends and fraternity brother left our party almost in tears, he is african american and some girl that he is crushin on told him that her parents wouldnt approve of them. he said that he never let the race thing bother him before but for some reason it just got to him that night. he was really hurting and it was killing me. i came from a very closed minded town where interracial things didnt happen, now i see that as totally stupid. i would be honored if i guy like him was dating my sister, because i know he would treat her like a queen and always be good to her. it just opened my eyes and made me a little angry at the world. he didnt understand and i couldnt tell him anything, because it was stupid, there is no reason why they should be upset at a thing like that. if they halfway knew him they would love him, he is one of the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for. what do i say to him to make him feel better. and what do yall think of that.

Matt-

I feel ya on this one bro. In my second sophmore year I had a roomate that was black, he was a random roomate. Eventually we became close friends, I found out we were a lot a like. Seriously, I never knew black could act the way he did. The only black people I knew before him were ghetto a$$ thugs who had nothing going for them and always looked at white people as the cause of their problems. I never knew any smart or intelligent black people. Originally, my friend is from New Jersey. One year he didnt go home for Thanksgiving and wasn't doing anything. I wanted to invite him but something told me to hold off. I called up my dad and asked him if it'd be alright, he knew my roomate since my dad is crazy about gator football. My dad told me it shouldn't be a problem and that he was going to ask his mother ( my grandmother) if it was alright with him being black and all. Well, my dad called me up the next day and told me he can't come. I was like WTF!?! I found out that it wasnt my mom or dad, but it was my grandmother not wanting to offend the other family members, mainly her sisters and brothers along with their families. That shit hit me hard when I realized that people didnt want him around solely because he was black, they didnt even want to give him a chance to get to know him....once they found out he was black it was out of the question. That day I realized how tough black people have it sometimes and how close minded many people in this world are, some of my family members included. I didnt tell him immediately why he couldn't come....I just let it drop.

One night my friend and i got drunk and I brought it up, he said he had a feeling things would end up like that but I shouldn't feel bad about it. He said his family is just as racist, his mom and dad won't even meet any of his girlfriends solely because they're all white and none are black.

To this day he is still one of my best friends.

-Cash

[mattpike]

heres more on the deal. they "hooked up" one night and he fell for her. but the deal is she has hooked up with a lot of other guys. she isnt a moral person at all. she uses guys alot. it is mean to name call like that but they are not far from the truth. i would not have let him date her. i would have talked him out of it but the bad thing is, she broke his heart. thank you for the feed back its nice to see that there is other people out there that feel the way that i do.