getting letters - Page 2

socialbutterfly · #16 10-10-2003, 12:43 AM

I'm really happy that all of you are excited and able to get letters from fraternities. Majority of the ones I know would NEVER let someone outside of their brotherhood wear their letters, its like disrespect for the other members.
I personally wouldn't want to wear them only because I didn't earn them like they did during their pledge process and I know I wouldn't let someone besides my sorority sisters wear MY letters, because they didn't experience the things I did earning them, just like I didn't experience what he went through.
I know allot of you are saying getting to wear his letters is like saying he loves you as much as his fraternity, but frankly, I think its best to keep the two separate..you never know what might happen down the line.

ASUADPi · #17 10-10-2003, 12:54 AM

CatstarESP4, a 'date dash' or 'date derby' is just a date party. I've been alumna for so long now, but my first date party was when I was still an Alpha. I was set up by one of my fellow Alphas and we all went to the date party together. At the time we didn't have a theme, but most of the time date parties have themes. Like 80's or 50's, some theme and you and your date dress accordingly. Date parties are pretty fun. Hope this helped.

As for letters from a frat. One of my sisters was lavaliered by her boyfriend who if I remember correctly was a Sigma Chi. We did a candle passing for her. What I recollect was that by her recieving the lavaliere, she was now able to wear his letters, in fact she wore the Sigma Chil lavaliere instead of her ADPi one. I'm not sure if this is still practiced anymore since it has been awile.

Brianna

AUDeltaGam · #18 10-10-2003, 08:16 AM

One of my sisters is lavaliered to a Sigma Pi and she always wears his lavalier

KellyO97 · #19 10-10-2003, 08:26 AM

I know that up until the early 90's people at my school pinned as well as lavaliered, but I never hear about people from my school getting pinned anymore. Some guys still lavaliere, and my boyfriend gave me his LXA lavaliere at my graduation party on the day I graduated from college (it was very sweet--my whole family and many of my sisters were there watching! All the non-Greeks were confused, and wanted to know if I was engaged). After that, I could wear his letters sweatshirts or anything that had letters on it. I put his letters on a chain with my own lavaliere, and I still wear them sometimes.

I know some houses have to "vote" on the girl, but since he was technically an alum already, he just decided to lavaliere me. I have also heard of some guys getting completely abused by their brothers after giving thier girlfriend letters, but nothing happened to him! One of my sisters had gotten lavaliered by one of my boyfriend's brothers just a few weeks earlier, and we were so excited! It was a very fun time......

aephi alum · #20 10-10-2003, 09:00 AM

Everyone else pretty much has it covered.

Adding my experience here - I was lavaliered even though my boyfriend (now husband) wasn't greek.

He had heard about the whole lavaliering/pinning thing, and asked me for details. A few days later, he presented me with a little heart-shaped pendant as a lavalier. My sorority had a candle pass for me just the same as if I'd gotten a fraternity lavalier. We never quite got to the pinning stage - we got engaged first.

So you don't have to miss out if your boyfriend isn't greek.

Oh, a "date dash" (at least at my school) wasn't just a date party... it was a date party where you had very little time to find a date. "It's Thursday... we're going out to dinner this Saturday, bring a date." Usually means the social chair messed up...

GeekyPenguin · #21 10-10-2003, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by socialbutterfly
I'm really happy that all of you are excited and able to get letters from fraternities. Majority of the ones I know would NEVER let someone outside of their brotherhood wear their letters, its like disrespect for the other members.
I personally wouldn't want to wear them only because I didn't earn them like they did during their pledge process and I know I wouldn't let someone besides my sorority sisters wear MY letters, because they didn't experience the things I did earning them, just like I didn't experience what he went through.
I know allot of you are saying getting to wear his letters is like saying he loves you as much as his fraternity, but frankly, I think its best to keep the two separate..you never know what might happen down the line.

Most gentleman don't just toss their letters out to any woman they've kissed, and a lot of chapters have very specific rules about when a woman is allowed to be pinned. In on fraternity chapter I know of, a brother who wanted to pin his girlfriend was asked if he was planning on proposing to her, and if so, when?

I think an issue here is the different between NPC/NIC orgs and NPHC/NALFO/MCGLO orgs. Pinning/lettering/lavaliering have been traditions for us since our founding.

SIAsensacion · #22 10-10-2003, 10:33 AM

I know nothing about this subject (my org, and most lglo's, don't "get lavaliered" or pinned by other orgs) so I have a couple questions:

1) When you get lavaliered by a guy, does he give you a lavalier with his letters, or yours?

2) When you get "pinned", what kind of pin does the guy give you? His official fraternity badge/pin? A non-official pin with his letters on it?

3) If you break up, are you supposed to give the lavalier/pin back? Are you still allowed to wear his letters if you break up?

Just curious cause I don't know anything about these traditions.

GeekyPenguin · #23 10-10-2003, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SIAsensacion
I know nothing about this subject (my org, and most lglo's, don't "get lavaliered" or pinned by other orgs) so I have a couple questions:

1) When you get lavaliered by a guy, does he give you a lavalier with his letters, or yours?

2) When you get "pinned", what kind of pin does the guy give you? His official fraternity badge/pin? A non-official pin with his letters on it?

3) If you break up, are you supposed to give the lavalier/pin back? Are you still allowed to wear his letters if you break up?

Just curious cause I don't know anything about these traditions.

1) He gives you a lavalier with his letters. A lot of girls will wear this along with their lavalier, with a spacer bead between them, or one on a longer/shorter chain.

2) Generally most gentleman I've seen give the girl his actual pin. However, many organizations have their own sweetheart pin. In some cases, it's a replica of their pin. In others, it's a sweetheart pin. (AEPi has a gorgeous fleur-de-lis sweetheart pin). Most fraternities have an official "sweetheart" pin.

3) If you break up, common courtesy would be to give the stuff back. I certainly wouldn't wear his letters anymore, and I don't think anyone else would either - it'd be really tacky.

aephi alum · #24 10-10-2003, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SIAsensacion
I know nothing about this subject (my org, and most lglo's, don't "get lavaliered" or pinned by other orgs) so I have a couple questions:

1) When you get lavaliered by a guy, does he give you a lavalier with his letters, or yours?

2) When you get "pinned", what kind of pin does the guy give you? His official fraternity badge/pin? A non-official pin with his letters on it?

3) If you break up, are you supposed to give the lavalier/pin back? Are you still allowed to wear his letters if you break up?

Just curious cause I don't know anything about these traditions.

When you get lavaliered, you get a lavalier with his letters.

When you get pinned, it depends on the fraternity. With some fraternities he'll give you his badge, with others there's a special pin, and with others it's just not done.

I'm honestly not sure what happens if you break up. I think you would keep a lavalier, or a pin unless it's his actual badge. I'm not sure if you would still be allowed to wear his letters, but I for one would have felt really strange running around in my ex's letters... The women I knew who were lavaliered to fraternity men and then broke up with them, stopped wearing their letters.

CatStarESP4 · #25 10-10-2003, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ASUADPi
CatstarESP4, a 'date dash' or 'date derby' is just a date party. I've been alumna for so long now, but my first date party was when I was still an Alpha. I was set up by one of my fellow Alphas and we all went to the date party together. At the time we didn't have a theme, but most of the time date parties have themes. Like 80's or 50's, some theme and you and your date dress accordingly. Date parties are pretty fun. Hope this helped.

As for letters from a frat. One of my sisters was lavaliered by her boyfriend who if I remember correctly was a Sigma Chi. We did a candle passing for her. What I recollect was that by her recieving the lavaliere, she was now able to wear his letters, in fact she wore the Sigma Chil lavaliere instead of her ADPi one. I'm not sure if this is still practiced anymore since it has been awile.

Brianna

I get it now! Thank you for explaining it!

SuperSister · #26 10-10-2003, 07:54 PM

I know that when my Hunny lavaliered me to Phi Sigma Kappa he had to get permission from his brothers first. He actually asked me at his founder's day celebration which made for a very special night. I think the one person there who was more excited than me was my brother, who is a member of the same chapter.

I also wanted to say that even though I've graduated and am in the 'real world' I wear his letters around my neck. I think part of it is that he's still at college and it's such a tangible reminder of how much we love each other.

~Emily