my peeve - Page 2

AlethiaSi · #16 08-14-2003, 12:22 PM

ok- when i read your post- i was definately happy that someone had brought this up... I'm in a local chapter that has been around for 75 years- we don't have any interest with going national at the moment- but there is also 4 other national sororities on my campus- they are great girls too but we had a terrible reputation for a very long time b/c of the girls that were in at that time... In the past year or so this is starting to change and we have all sorts of different girls and word is spreading that we are on the up and up- but its very hard to break our past stereotypes and its extremely discouraging for new girls- esp me as i'm rush chair... We have all different girls- some heavy- some skinny- but all beautiful, fun and smart- we wouldn't have it any other way- but other people are too caught up in themselves to see it that way..... ahem...(frats)... they don't want to hang out with some of our girls... its not fair- and i def agree that its very frustrating... even our alumni who we got our bad name from are awesome- nobody just took the time to see them as we do..... for numbers though we have to change our image and market ourselves for our competition....has anyone else felt like this too??? i guess we'll see what happens at rush this year...wish us luck!

sairose · #17 08-14-2003, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlethiaSi
ok- when i read your post- i was definately happy that someone had brought this up... I'm in a local chapter that has been around for 75 years- we don't have any interest with going national at the moment- but there is also 4 other national sororities on my campus- they are great girls too but we had a terrible reputation for a very long time b/c of the girls that were in at that time... In the past year or so this is starting to change and we have all sorts of different girls and word is spreading that we are on the up and up- but its very hard to break our past stereotypes and its extremely discouraging for new girls- esp me as i'm rush chair... We have all different girls- some heavy- some skinny- but all beautiful, fun and smart- we wouldn't have it any other way- but other people are too caught up in themselves to see it that way..... ahem...(frats)... they don't want to hang out with some of our girls... its not fair- and i def agree that its very frustrating... even our alumni who we got our bad name from are awesome- nobody just took the time to see them as we do..... for numbers though we have to change our image and market ourselves for our competition....has anyone else felt like this too??? i guess we'll see what happens at rush this year...wish us luck!

No, I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! My chapter had a few problems a few years back because of a bad member we had that gave us the reputation of being snotty and stuck up. We're finally gaining people's respect again, even though we've always been awesome, it was just that one girl. You know what I mean? It's frustrating!

squashfly3 · #18 08-14-2003, 12:43 PM

i totally agree with what sairose said. just because a girl is overwieght does not mean that she will make a bad sister...and it also does not mean that they do not "take care of themselves". sometimes people really do just have a wieght problem and it has nothing to do with how they eat or if the exercise, etc. girls come in all different shapes and sizes...there is not one mold!...that is what makes being in a sorority so great...you get to hang out with all types of girls and that helps you to learn about what life is like for others. i also agree with what sairose said about the not taking care of yourself thing about drinking...i drink...so in that sense i do not take care of myself either...but my sisters, both the ones who do drink, and the ones who don't, do not discriminate against me because of it. they don't tell me that i don't take care of myself because i drink. we all have different ways of taking care of ourselves...maybe that is something that should be realized. i'm sure that we all do unhealthy things every now and then, so why critize someone else for that it?

sairose · #19 08-14-2003, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by squashfly3
i totally agree with what sairose said. just because a girl is overwieght does not mean that she will make a bad sister...and it also does not mean that they do not "take care of themselves". sometimes people really do just have a wieght problem and it has nothing to do with how they eat or if the exercise, etc. girls come in all different shapes and sizes...there is not one mold!...that is what makes being in a sorority so great...you get to hang out with all types of girls and that helps you to learn about what life is like for others. i also agree with what sairose said about the not taking care of yourself thing about drinking...i drink...so in that sense i do not take care of myself either...but my sisters, both the ones who do drink, and the ones who don't, do not discriminate against me because of it. they don't tell me that i don't take care of myself because i drink. we all have different ways of taking care of ourselves...maybe that is something that should be realized. i'm sure that we all do unhealthy things every now and then, so why critize someone else for that it?

Thanks for agreeing.

We ALL do things that are unhealthy sometimes. And I guess the overweight thing hit too close to home, because when I pledged in spring 2001 I was nearly 60 pounds overweight. I'm proud to say I worked hard and lost over 50 pounds, but you know what? My sisters loved me just the same when I was a big girl. And I love them for it!

squashfly3 · #20 08-14-2003, 06:09 PM

congrats on losing 50 pounds!! i know that that is hard to do...but it hit close to home when that girl was talking about weight..i have had weight issues most of my life, i've never been really overweight just maybe a little chubby and out of shape. but that has made weight a constant battle for me...and i've lost most of that weight now..but i know that no matter what weight i am my sisters would still love me for who i am. it's people like that who mess with our minds and cause us to have eating disorders and whatnot. i'm glad to find another girl who agrees with me on this topic

ZTAMich · #21 08-14-2003, 09:06 PM

I was told sometime last month that a chapter of my sorority at a certain school is all of a certain ethnic background. Why should this matter??

She was a collegiate at an Alumni Panhellenic event...she probably didn't know any better...and was a bit tipsy, but still...

She obviously needs a standards event on manners!!

My personal collegiate chapter was every shape and size...and we prided ourself on that!

sairose · #22 08-14-2003, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by squashfly3
congrats on losing 50 pounds!! i know that that is hard to do...but it hit close to home when that girl was talking about weight..i have had weight issues most of my life, i've never been really overweight just maybe a little chubby and out of shape. but that has made weight a constant battle for me...and i've lost most of that weight now..but i know that no matter what weight i am my sisters would still love me for who i am. it's people like that who mess with our minds and cause us to have eating disorders and whatnot. i'm glad to find another girl who agrees with me on this topic

I constantly battle with weight issues. I gain weight VERY easily as well, so whenever I eat something bad I automatically feel "fat". I hate being this way. I hate gaining weight so easily and then having to lose it. And I also hate being so self conscious about my weight...it's hard to enjoy eating. *sigh*

sairose · #23 08-14-2003, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAMich

My personal collegiate chapter was every shape and size...and we prided ourself on that!

That's awesome, and that's the way a sisterhood SHOULD be. Besides, who wants to be in an entire group of girls exactly like themselves??! Not me.

Honeykiss1974 · #24 08-14-2003, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sairose
You know what I just absolutely cannot STAND?????!!!!?

People that put down a sorority for having girls that aren't quite so pretty. Or that are overweight. Or whatever. And I don't see this really with the other sororities, but with independants.

I mean, sisters love each other for WHO THEY ARE, not what they look like. The reason I'm saying all this is because one of the NPC sororities here always gets slammed because they are diverse in their looks--some skinny, some overweight, some supermodel types, some not quite as pretty, whatever. However, they are the sweetest girls, very down-to-earth. I love them to death.

Yet people will slam them just because some of the girls don't look like supermodels. Well, what the HELL does that matter??! I applaud them for seeing beyond the surface and loving each other for who they are, and for being themselves and being proud of it!

Any other thoughts?

Catty comments do not JUSt come from non-greeks. I know one too many GLO members who will refer to another organization as "the fat girls" or say things like XYZ sorority is full of ugly gilrs, etc. (you get the picture).

Stupidity can come from all angles.

squashfly3 · #25 08-14-2003, 10:34 PM

having people constantly judge us because we are in a sorority sometimes makes weight issues worse. i know the feeling of eating some bad and then just feeling fat for the rest of the day/night. it's awful...as soon as i eat all i think about it when i can get to the gym to burn off those calories...it's unhealthy...probably more unhealthy then being a little overweight...so people should watch what they say. we are supposed to pride ourselves on feeling different...so why can't people stop making us feel bad for being different?!

Lunarwolf · #26 08-15-2003, 12:44 AM

I wasn't saying that 'overweight' sisters wouldn't ba fabulous people. On the contrary, some of the most driven, intelligent women in my Greek community would probably be insulted purely by basis of their looks by outsiders.

I know that there are those whose medical history really does make it hard to lose weight. It's the ones who are clearly overweight and who complain about it all the time, yet do nothing to show they're doing anything to deal with it by therapy or exercise that really bother me.

Don't even get me started on alcohol. I'm so anti-drunken glory that I get plenty of odd looks from my college peers. I'm constantly encouraging and scheming ways to make smokers quit. Those who work constantly and get like three hours of sleep per night for a week, I send to bed, no ifs and or butts. I get called,"Mom," more often than not, which I'm sheepish about.

Sisterhood is about bonding with people regardless of looks or anything superficial. That love is precisely why I get fussy over my sisters -I want the best for them.(Good grief, I am turning into my mother.) Sorry if I came off all wrong. I seem to have a knack for that.

MareImbrium · #27 08-15-2003, 03:35 AM

Goodness I can so relate to that. Haha this here is my so called "testimony" of why I joined the sorority.

I never thought I would be the type of person to join a sorority. I mean upon graduating from high school and learning a bit about Greek Life I thought it would have been interesting to see what it was all about. During Greek Week, all the Greek organizations would be lined up by the Student Union and handing out information cards to prospective members. I never received a single one. It's not as if I could just walk up to a sorority table and sign up or anything. I could totally feel women's eyes eying me up and down, deciding whether or not I had the right look to be one of them. So that totally turned me off.

Then once I transferred out of that school for personal reasons, one of my classmates and also someone who goes to the same church as me thought I have the qualities to join her sorority. I decided to just check it out. The diversity was amazing and everyone was so nice when I went to one of their recruitment parties. I especially liked the part where they liked me for who I was. I mean isn't that what true sisterhood is all about?

squashfly3 · #28 08-15-2003, 08:50 AM

that is what true sisterhood is about...loving someone just for who they are both inside and out. i'm so glad that there are other people who feel this way. it makes life that much easier knowing that there are real people out there too

sairose · #29 08-15-2003, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lunarwolf
I wasn't saying that 'overweight' sisters wouldn't ba fabulous people. On the contrary, some of the most driven, intelligent women in my Greek community would probably be insulted purely by basis of their looks by outsiders.

I know that there are those whose medical history really does make it hard to lose weight. It's the ones who are clearly overweight and who complain about it all the time, yet do nothing to show they're doing anything to deal with it by therapy or exercise that really bother me.

Don't even get me started on alcohol. I'm so anti-drunken glory that I get plenty of odd looks from my college peers. I'm constantly encouraging and scheming ways to make smokers quit. Those who work constantly and get like three hours of sleep per night for a week, I send to bed, no ifs and or butts. I get called,"Mom," more often than not, which I'm sheepish about.

Sisterhood is about bonding with people regardless of looks or anything superficial. That love is precisely why I get fussy over my sisters -I want the best for them.(Good grief, I am turning into my mother.) Sorry if I came off all wrong. I seem to have a knack for that.

Oh, okay, well then I'm sorry that I misunderstood you.

I think that's wonderful that you care so much about people that you try to help them quit their unhealthy habits. There should be more people like you.

On the overweight subject...sometimes it bugs me when overweight people complain about it and don't do anything about it. But, food can be an addiction. I am a binge eater, which is a form of an eater disorder...perhaps milder than say, bulemia. But I'll eat something "bad", and I'll automatically feel fat, and horribly guilty, and I'll worry and fret about gaining weight just because of ONE BAD THING I ate, and I won't feel better until I work out. I HATE being this way, because I don't enjoy eating...I can't. I worry constantly about gaining weight.

justamom · #30 08-16-2003, 08:57 AM

I think a lot of this is just a spin off of competition. If everyone was happy in their situation, you wouldn't have all this turmoil.

I see it from adults, I see it from young men and women. But <WHY is it that women attack each other so brutally?>
Sometimes it's like beating a drum. If I SAY it enough, people will believe it! We are the best, we are the prettiest, you stink!
Gee if I had a dollar for every incident of this nature... It NEVER ends. Grade school kids compare their parents and then the cycle continues to comparisons of YOUR children's accomplishments and YOUR success in life!

The happiest people I know-and I am one-do NOT allow themselves to be pulled into a competition and believe me, people TRY to suck you in so they can have something or someone to compare themselves to. They try to create a Utopia where there is NONE! So, what does this have to do with the thread? People who put others down are NOT happy people. They are not confident people. They are actually scared and unsure of themselves. Otherwise, they wouldn't have to keep reminding themselves (and others) how "great" they are. It would be reflected in their LIVES!

THIS IS NOT TO SAY YOU SHOULD BE COMPLACENT IN THE FACE OF LIES OR INNUENDO.

It reminds me of the movie Revenge of the Nerds. There are so many more of us who are open, compassionate, successful people compared to that small, "self selected" group of idiots (GLO OR GDI) who make blanket statements about other individuals or groups. Are YOU (universal) empowering them? Are YOU perpetuating the myth? What would happen if 14 of 16 sororities grouped together and said, "Numbers 15 and 16 sucks."? Why do you allow numbers 15 and 16 to say "1, 2, and 3 are crap." I guess I'm too proud and bullheaded-I would NEVER let it slide, I'd move heaven and earth to prove it was BS- AND I HAVE in many instances, though it wasn't easy!
If you don't believe you have the very best situation in the world, why would ANYone want to jump on the wagon with you? If you SAY another group is stronger, bigger, better, YOU are beating the same drum THEY are!

There will always be judgments by those who see you as choosing a DIFFERENT path.
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I chose the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference." Frost

Success in life is how you are judged by those you love, NOT the opinions of people who have nothing to do with your life.