Pregnant Yet Interested: What are your thoughts?

[thatgirl]

Main Entry: hyp·o·crite
Pronunciation: 'hi-p&-"krit
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English ypocrite, from Old French, from Late Latin hypocrita, from Greek hypokritEs actor, hypocrite, from hypokrinesthai
Date: 13th century
: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
- hypocrite adjective

I got this directly from the merriam webster website at www.m-w.com

This definition could apply to many women who look down on single mothers, but are sexually active themselves.

[AKAtude]

Eclipse, I'm with you. I see your point.

[Eclipse]

Thank you AKAtude.

[LadyAKA]

That's it for Eclipse, but I am just getting started. First, Well said Eclipse!! Second 'To each her freaking own'!!
The question as Soror AKAtude restated is can it be done, and the answer is yes .. what I see here is females trying to debate why we (members and non members alike) feel that it is wrong or better stated not a choice that we feel is the best. So knowing that my initial feeling is do what is best for you and what you can handle, Pledge/MIP (depending on who you talk to it is all the freaking same) if you can, but don't pull down the rest of your line if you can't perform and don't complain about pains ... I feel pregnancy is a serious matter why mix in becoming an AKA woman or joining a BGLO (that includes FRAT- he should be there for his woman). Deal with one thing at a time! And no on is being hypocritical, if you have relations behind closed doors who cares (many people in church lead two lives), but when you produce a child and then GET ON-LINE you make it everyone's business, now people have to tiptoe around you. And no matter if we are talking pledging or MIP, LATE NIGHTS AND UNDUE STRESS ARE INCLUDED IN BOTH!!

And here I go arguing someone else's point but when Soror Discogoddess stated 'especially undergrad' I honestly think she meant students 18 to 21, but if not she will explain that later, but I must admit we don't take in many sorors over the age of 25 in undergrad chapters, not because of any law but because older women rather deal with more seasoned sorors in Graduate chapters. Also if you are pregnant or a new mother, still in college and over 24 then isn't there more important things to do with your time - NOT SAYING AKA is not important, I value my pearls, but that situation just does not fit!!

Lastly, character is weighed heavy in votes so again it goes back to being OUR choice, many call but FEW are chosen!!

Sisterly
LadyAKA

[This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited August 04, 2000).]

[Anydaynow]

Wow this is.....a serious topic I wasn't going to post but I couldn't resist.

I have to agree with both Soror AKATUDE & LadyAKA on this issue.

As Soror AKATUDE stated it is about "us" not about "me"...there is no individuality....you are as "one".

I totally agree with Soror LadyAKA...I LOVE MY PEARLS!!! but if I was a new/pregnant mother my #1 priority would be my child and to put your body through that much stress and sleepless nights is very dangerous.

If you are a full-time student, full-time employee and a full-time mother...do you have the time to be a full-time Soror?

[mizzkes]

Hello all. Having sex an being pregnant are two differnt things. I would not say that a person who gets pregnant has no morals but I would say that they may be irresponsible. There are so many forms of birth control out there that there is no reason for anyone to have an unplanned pregnancy. I have never participated in the Membership Intake Process, so I can not say whether the conditions are acceptable for a pregnant woman, but, really, time is a big factor. How much time could a new mother possibly have for duties of being a sorority member?

[This message has been edited by mizzkes (edited August 04, 2000).]

[Epitome]

Just wanted to commend you all for the intelligent manner in which you carried out this debate/discussion. How many times have we seen a board BLOW UP because people disagreed or didn't like the way someone else phrased something? The positive vibe is why I (and others) enjoy viewing this board.

I really have nothing to add to the discussion. Several people have already stated my thoughts very eloquently.

[deja]

Mizzkees,

Having sex andn pregnancy......That to me, is just like saying stealing and getting caught...

I do agree with that pregnant women should not go through MIP if there are reasons to believe that harm may come to the fetus or the mother. However, to flat out say a woman is less than, or have nothing to offer her community-- because she had a baby, well that is a form a prejudice.

How many of my sorors here are without children and not active, financially or otherwise? We have to elevate ladies, we live in a diverse society. Now I am, by no means, condoning pregnancy before marriage or sex for that matter.

For those of you who were sexually active prior to crossing-- ....the only difference between you and that interest who may be pregnant or an unwed mother, is GRACE!

My God we do need to humble ourselves.

Now I am not arguing just expressing my thoughts. We are by no means "shallow", am I right?

------------------
TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN....MUCH IS EXPECTED.

[AKA2D '91]

I don't have any children AND I am ACTIVE financially (since 1991) and otherwise....

SFs must HUMBLE themselves, as well!!!

It still goes back to the SORORS on each particular campus...THEY are the ones who vote...

You can be blind, cripple, and/or crazy...but the Sorors have to make that choice.

What I expressed earlier IS a fact...I know of NUMEROUS older sorors, not my age, BUT the SKEERIOUS (SILVER AND GOLDEN) Sorors who do not play that!
I respect those Sorors and always will!

Yes, they do look down on this issue...times changing or NOT. Shout... If you step to them incorrectly, ...TRUST ME, it won't be anything lovely.
That was where my point was coming from....

Back in their day...unwed mothers was a NO NO...that's where "high ethical and moral standards" came to play....Remember that?

I just know I am glad my UNDERGRAD days are over with...too much DRAMA/EXCUSES and ISSUES these days...

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited August 04, 2000).]

[tickledpink]

I posted my views to a similar question in the Greek Life forum, so I wasn't going to respond, but here I go...

I completely agree with Soror Deja. Unless we were all virgins (before we were married for those of us that are), and plan on initiating only virgins, then we can not discriminate (let he who is without sin...). I'd rather initiate someone that was pregnant or a single mother who knows who the father is than a "discreet" freak ( freak meaning - a very promiscious person - for those that have been living under a rock) that creeps from dorm to dorm. Sorry for being so blunt.

If a female feels her body can withstand the MIP process, more power to her. There are many pregnant women that work 40 hrs per week in very stressful situations that deliver healthy babies.

I know there are those that disagree, and I respect that.



[This message has been edited by tickledpink (edited August 04, 2000).]

[AKAtude]

I'm more concerned about the situations she may be placed in while going throuugh the initiation process while pregnant. I know what I experienced and would not want that for any pregnant woman. However, if she chose to go through with it she should not be entitled to special treatment simply because she is pregnant. I would be very resentful if that happened to me while I was on line with someone who is pregnant. If she feels the added stress would not harm her unborn child, then the decision is hers.

[This message has been edited by AKAtude (edited August 04, 2000).]

[Eclipse]

I just can't leave well enough alone...

A hypocrite is one (based on Mr. Webster) who "affects virtues or qualities that he (or she) does not have." Therefore, if someone said premarital sex is immoral and is not a virgin, that would be hypocritical. If someone said that mothers with young children who are not married should not be extended invitation to the sorority and they are not in that situation they are not being hypocritical. Also, if you have grown to a point where the things you used to do you do not do anymore, it is not hypocritical to point out those things were wrong when you did them or wrong now.

That's it for me!!

[AlwaysDivine]

What is "MIP"? Is it something Intake Process?

[blu_theatrics]

Originally posted by AlwaysDivine:
What is "MIP"? Is it something Intake Process?

membership intake process

[AKAtude]

Somewhere along the way, this thread has taken on an additional topic. As I stated earlier before, the thread is about whether or not we would recommend going through initation while pregnant. I replied later on that there is no rule prohibiting it. There have been women, as seen on this board, who have gone through MIP while pregnant. Others, like me, feel as though they should wait.

For some reason, the "morality" or "image" issue entered the picture along the way. Yes, I too, know of some older sorors (heck, I know lots of older non-greek women) who look down on unwed mothers, even some who are much younger. That is how it was back in the day. "Susie" would go off to care for her ill "Aunt Jane" for several months, etc.

But times have changed. Even if people are not accepting of it, they are displaying more tolerance than in those times. I have a cousin who became pregnant her sophomore year in college in the early 80's, but did not return to school. Just about everyone knows someone who is either a relative or a friend who might be an unwed single mother. After graduation, one of my own line sisters became pregnant and is not with her child's father or married. That does not mean I think any less of her or my cousin.

It is a fact that many people are having sex without the benefit of marriage. However, if I had become pregnant and was still able to attend school, I would not have gone through with it. Reflecting back on the entire experience I know that my body would not have been able to handle it while pregnant, and that would not have been fair to my line sisters, me, or my baby.

However, as I and others pointed out earlier, if a woman feels as though she is able to handle the stress and thinks her unborn child will not be harmed, then by all means she should pursue her goal.
My number one goal at that point would be to find every way possible to ensure that my baby entered this world as healthy as possible because that would be my first
priority. If I had waited that long, I could wait a bit longer. The sorority isn't going anywhere.

All I want to say is that this is simply a personal issue. It is up to the individual to choose, but I would encourage her to not just think about what she wants, but the others that she could possibly effect in the long run. Yes, mothers do juggle lots of different tasks, but with a newborn, school, and maybe a job she needs to realize that the sorority demands just as much time. Other than money, family and job responsibilities are two often quoted reasons for frat/sorority members who become inactive.

In closing, I would like to add that I admire the women who are able to do it because it is no small task.

I'm sorry for the long post.