Should I tell? - Page 2

AXJules · #16 08-05-2003, 12:04 AM

EDITED: Disappearing posts......interesting......

The Grapist · #17 08-05-2003, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Grapist
This post has been graped on by The Grapist! Of course you should tell the guy! It's the right thing to do, she won't ever do it. The fact that you are debating on this, is morally apprehensible!

This post has been graped on by The Grapist! I agree, I truuuuly do!!!

Peaches-n-Cream · #18 08-05-2003, 12:31 AM

Don't tell. You'll seem like the bad guy by both parties.

RedefinedDiva · #19 08-05-2003, 12:44 AM

How about this? Next time that you go out, bring along a camera. Claim to only have a few snaps left and you want to get rid of them. When she gets drunk and into her makeout session, snap a few pictures of her. Drop the film to be developed and as soon as you pick it, don't even inspect the pics. That way, the seal on the pack will still be intact, which makes it easier to claim that you don't even know what the pictures are. Head over to their place for a "formal viewing." Let the guy see the evidence for himself. That way, you aren't really telling and he can see things with his own eyes. What he chooses to do after that is on him.

lifesaver · #20 08-05-2003, 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
How about this? Next time that you go out, bring along a camera. Claim to only have a few snaps left and you want to get rid of them. When she gets drunk and into her makeout session, snap a few pictures of her. Drop the film to be developed and as soon as you pick it, don't even inspect the pics. That way, the seal on the pack will still be intact, which makes it easier to claim that you don't even know what the pictures are. Head over to their place for a "formal viewing." Let the guy see the evidence for himself. That way, you aren't really telling and he can see things with his own eyes. What he chooses to do after that is on him.

Dood, thats so sneaky...and shady.

I LIKE IT!

White_Chocolate · #21 08-05-2003, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
How about this? Next time that you go out, bring along a camera. Claim to only have a few snaps left and you want to get rid of them. When she gets drunk and into her makeout session, snap a few pictures of her. Drop the film to be developed and as soon as you pick it, don't even inspect the pics. That way, the seal on the pack will still be intact, which makes it easier to claim that you don't even know what the pictures are. Head over to their place for a "formal viewing." Let the guy see the evidence for himself. That way, you aren't really telling and he can see things with his own eyes. What he chooses to do after that is on him.

GUYS, I have pics of her on guys already
She just never takes them home
She leaves them at her mom's house and stuff

But yeah, this way does seem kind of shady
But I can always do that 'Omigod, I forgot all about these!'
And run out of the room with her while he's in there
Maybe it will arose suspicions

FeeFee · #22 08-05-2003, 10:15 AM

IMHO, Hootie gave the best advice in this matter.

White_Chocolate · #23 08-05-2003, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FeeFee
IMHO, Hootie gave the best advice in this matter.

Funny that you should side with Hootie. . .and have a biblical scripture in your signature.

So, I'm supposed to be morally wrong, let the guy propose to her THIS WEEKEND, and go to their wedding which I know will probably end in divorce. . .all the while knowing that she cheats on him every weekend.

This still makes no sense.

What would the good Samaritan do? Not offer to help the badly beaten stranger that he had no ties to whatsoever??

phisigduchesscv · #24 08-05-2003, 11:14 AM

As much as you want to tell the guy don't!!!! It's the messenger that will be shot not the girl who is making out with other guys.
The guy won't believe you and she will be so mad at you for telling that you will have lost her as a friend for good (said from experience). She'll end up saying yes to the guy just to prove a point.

The only thing I suggest is that you talk to her about what she's doing and ask her is it really fair to her child - is that the type of relationship she wants as an example. Play up that her child is going to think that type of relationship is how it should be and will never learn what it is and how to be in a loving relationship.

Also, the other thing is he may already know and wants to be blind to it. If she's making out in bars then some friends of his have been around those same bars and may have told him. Whatever you do, do NOT say anything to him.

FeeFee · #25 08-05-2003, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
Funny that you should side with Hootie. . .and have a biblical scripture in your signature.

So, I'm supposed to be morally wrong, let the guy propose to her THIS WEEKEND, and go to their wedding which I know will probably end in divorce. . .all the while knowing that she cheats on him every weekend.

This still makes no sense.

What would the good Samaritan do? Not offer to help the badly beaten stranger that he had no ties to whatsoever??

Siding with Hootie and my biblical scripture in my signature - whatever

You asked for opinions and advice in this matter, but it seems as if you are determined to tell this guy anyway.

The point is - YOUR ALLIANCE SHOULD BE WITH YOUR FRIEND AND NOT THIS GUY!!!!! It is not your place to tell him what his girlfriend - your friend is doing. The most you should do is continue to be her friend and to encourage her to change her behavior. If she doesn't want to change, then just let the dayum chips fall!!! If you have no vested interest in this guy, then why are you so worked up about their situation????? These are two grown adults - let them handle their affairs like adults. Stay out of it - it will only make matters worse. Are you willing to ruin your friendship with this girl? Think about what we are telling you.

White_Chocolate · #26 08-05-2003, 12:02 PM

so, what do i do if another one of our friends tells him and he comes to ask me?

apparently, i'm not the only friend who is fed up. it's not the fact of allying with anyone. . .it's the fact of do I want to live with a guilty conscience and let her lie. . .

like i said. . .i have the option of threatening her to come clean
she's the one who thinks she is right. . .

and it's not about alliances
i don't owe my allegience to anyone really
friends are expendable
one minute they are here, the next they are gone

really besides going out on the weekend
we don't spend much time together
but we've known each other for a while

lovelyivy84 · #27 08-05-2003, 12:37 PM

You have obviously already made your decision.

Seems like it's out of guilt. If it was such a big issue with you why didn't you let this guy know the deal when it made a difference? Back when his feelings weren't as deep and he could have just walked away would have been nice. Telling at this point is only going to put you in the center of a bad situation.

Do what you have to, but at the end of the day this is not your business, it's your friend's. SHe's a grown woman who won't thank you for interfering.

AchtungBaby80 · #28 08-05-2003, 12:54 PM

I'm with FeeFee and Hootie. It's really none of your business. I realize that it seems like the moral, correct thing to do to tell the guy about it, but he may know about it already and just not want to think about it. Either way, I just think it would do more harm than good for you to be the messenger bearing bad news. I know it's not fair, but many times the messenger is the one who gets blamed. If you're really concerned, I think you ought to help this girl understand that her behavior needs to change if she marries this guy. I see this as more of an issue between the girl and her boyfriend than just her, because there's obviously something missing in their relationship if she needs to seek affection from other people.

CC1GC · #29 08-05-2003, 01:49 PM

I hear Mail-Order Russian brides are in season...he'll retain the same emotional attachment with greater loyalty.

bgsarah · #30 08-05-2003, 02:07 PM

You could be REALLY REALLY sneaky and hire a P.I to follow her. THen have the PI send the pictures to her man!

Oh, the snark that would entail!