Open Letter III

[Afrochic]

To A.B. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I never thought I would be into you the way that I am but I'm truly happy. It started out as a crush, but now it's so much more. When my father died, you were right there and so was your father. You don't realize how much I appreciated that. You and your father never got a chance to meet my father, but you were both there for me. When your father stood before my family at my daddy's funeral and spoke, it really touched me, and for that I am forever grateful. I love you and you are my best friend.

[1savvydiva]

To my Sistadiva: You are a gem! No prob! Anytime you need a sista, just hit me up.

To "P-Diddy": I'm glad you are back in my life, but I am sad that you are leaving. You are my bestest friend and I wub you berrrry much!

To my employer: Thanks for the bonus...it really came in handy! I'm going to put that on my car!

Now my family reunion open letters...

To my family: I really enjoyed everyone this weekend. I am so glad that nobody acted a FOOL, especially you Fernando. I really enjoyed the banquet and the fashion show, but I have a question. WHY did I only get one plate and one dessert for $40. HELL, could a sista get some sweet tea? Why was the tea so bland? WHY did they start taking the food away so soon? For $40 they shoulda had some doggie bags on the table in the back or SUMPIN' Forty daggone dollars! Hell, my aunt and I coulda took our $80 and went to Sam's and had a little shin-dig at the crib! Anyway, I enjoyed your company.

To my cousin T: Please get Isaiah out of grabbing women's breasts, it may be semi-cute now...but I am starting to think he knows exactly what he is doing! He's cute tho!

To Amin: You have really grown into a nice looking young man, I remember when you looked like one of the gremlins! LMAO, you have really matured...you're actually cute now!

TO Carlos: IF you ever, EVER, bring your "baby's momma" (as she so eloquently introduced herself as) to the family banquet with a DENIM CATSUIT with timberland boots on...I think Auntie E, Auntie L, and my Nana will personally exorcise her! I have a coupla questions too...Why were all her breasteseess out? Whose gold belt, I mean, herringbone did she have on? Are her teeth ALL gold, or was that plaque? Why did she have on a hat inside of the banquet hall? I just wanna know!

To Sy: You really have the biggest butt in the world!

To R: If you come to the next family reunion with another child or a different husband/boyfriend, I am going to scream. It's hard enough trying to remember all of the kids names, let alone the flavor of the week.

[blackerican]

Again to Hector: You told all of us that you were done with that crazy girl. But, you were with her yesterday!!!! Now, you call me to tell me that you're in the hospital cuz' she hit you with your car (why was the crazy itch behind the wheel of your car anyway????). All can do is pray for you and be there as your friend. I just hope that this wakes you up!!!!!

To my son Xay: Mommy loves you sooooo much!!!

To Sylvia: Don't worry about that man no wanting to step up to the plate!!!! You're a strong sister......the crew is going to help out. We've got your back always!!!!!!

[MaMaBuddha]

to the city of nyc... the economy sucks...can we all work together and provide for each other...Bloomberg, what the hell are you doing? bring smoking back...you are making my job even harder, people are stressed. nyc is becoming the city that actually sleeps.

to that ignorant guy at the club last night... please don't be mad that i wouldn't give you my number or let you in the club...you were acting like an ass. that rough neck Shiznit isn't cute at all.

to the future love of my life...you will one day realize that you are the love of my life and stop taking me for granted. i love you to life, i don't love you to death.

to the woman that gave birth to me...i am old enough and wiser...homosexuality is not contagious. this is my life, it's been my life for the past 16 years. get over it!!!

to the woman that raised me...i never want to lose you...i love you!

[1browngirl]

To Caroline at American Honda Corp: How dare you place the blame on me for the failed transmission on a car that has under 80000 miles. So WHAT I had minor accident and your company feels that the accident in some way contributed to this, now your dealership is trying to charge me $5942 to replace a transmission. HOW DARE YOU get an attitude when I told you that your attitude sucked!! HOW DARE YOU get an attitude because I told you your rotten attitude makes me NEVER want to own another HONDA EVER AGAIN! HOW DARE YOU threaten to hang up on me & finally HOW DARE YOU refuse to let me speak to anyone else in your office. If I had been able to come through that phone today, your azz woulda been mine, ya hear me!!! Girl, you betta watch you back! Cause if I ever get to CA, you're on my isht list!

To D: The next time I get an attitude and tell you that you barely call me, don't get mad! It's the truth and it hurts, don't it? Your nice guy act had me fooled but the rose colored glasses are gone and I see you for what you really are. Don't EVER tell me again that you have feelings for me!!! Because if you do you would've acted on them by now instead of coming up with every excuse in the book of why we CAN'T be together!! You're probably not man enough for me anyway!!!!!


To Teresa My Boss : If you can't speak to me when you see me, don't go out of you're way trying to do it later. Oh and that help you promised me in getting an HR position.....what happened?? I'm still waiting! You're about as sorry as that last so called supervisor that I had. Unlike him, you won't last long cause your mouth is too big!

[RedefinedDiva]

Originally posted by blackerican
Again to Hector: You told all of us that you were done with that crazy girl. But, you were with her yesterday!!!! Now, you call me to tell me that you're in the hospital cuz' she hit you with your car (why was the crazy itch behind the wheel of your car anyway????). All can do is pray for you and be there as your friend. I just hope that this wakes you up!!!!!

To Hector: I don't even know you, bro, but this is some NONSENSE!! Stabbed and hit with a car? What's next? Is she gonna drop an anvil on your head like Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner? Please listen to blackerican. She's trying to talk some sense into you. LISTEN! Life is too short to be caught up in that drama.

[JJSP01]

To my raggedy neighbors on my left....STOP HOGGIN' ALL THE PARKING SPACES IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE!!! I have ONE truck to your THREE vehicles...so stop being GREEDY and leave one spot for me!!

To Budget Rental Cars....I know you damn people stole the 4 cds I accidentally left in the Expedition...I hope you get alot of use out of my Burning Spear cd and my other Reggae mix! JERKS!!!!
I hope it costs ALOT of money to repair the damage done to that damned truck!

To the FEDERAL Government....GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH THOSE OF US THAT WANT TO WORK FOR YOUR AGENCIES IN A TIMELY MANNER!!!! Enough said!

[MeezDiscreet]

To A.C.: how dare you act stanka dank dank when you saw me. are you ashamed of the things you did and that is the reason? it should be because you disgust me and i have never had such LITTLE respect for a "woman". and just because you messed stuff up with your last relationship, don't think you are about to try to run game on my l.s. man. that isht won't fly...BELIEVE THAT. and you may have heard that she is crazy but let me tell you what i KNOW: she's the nice one compared to me. watch yo' self.

To J.: YOU NEED TO PUMP YO' BRAKES LIL' MAMA. being bitter aint cute and sour grapes are nasty. i let you get off easy this time but let it happen again and imma have to show you some thangs. see, i try to leave that side of me in the past but you trying to make me debut it on yo' a$$. i'll come out these heels and wipe off this M.A.C. and get wit you homegirl.

To O.C.: i've treated you pretty bad, but you always seem to be the first one i see when i'm p.o.'d. sorry. i understand why you proceed with caution when you're around me. but i'm going to do better

To the man outside my apt.: i'm flattered but you scared the mess out of me. don't let that happen again. you aint but one trip to the p.d. away from a restraining order. mkay?

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
To Hector: I don't even know you, bro, but this is some NONSENSE!! Stabbed and hit with a car? What's next? Is she gonna drop an anvil on your head like Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner? Please listen to blackerican. She's trying to talk some sense into you. LISTEN! Life is too short to be caught up in that drama.

To Hector: Dang man, is the "stuff" that good that you still wanna be around her crazy a$$?? Please listen to blackerican - I don't think she wants to see you laid up in hospitals b/c you can't break away from Ms. Psycho. Two words for you man: RESTRAINING ORDER!!!!

To P.F.: Whenever you ask me a question and I give you a response, don't ask me 3 or 4 times if I'm sure!!!! You reek of private practice and I don't like you. You make my nether regions itch!!!!
P.S. Don't stand over me either. It's rude and annoying!!!

[MeezDiscreet]

to my people: how trifling is it that we have shortened the word "trifling" to "trife?" (even though i say it sometimes too)

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by MeezDiscreet
to my people: how trifling is it that we have shortened the word "trifling" to "trife?" (even though i say it sometimes too)

To MeezDiscreet: I use the word "trife" so often that I didn't realize that it wasn't a word!

To Meriam Webster: Please include the word "trife" in your next addition.

[lovelyivy84]

to J: I. Will. Not. Ever. Like. You. Please stop trying to make friends cuz that is never happening. You showed yourself unworthy of my trust EARLY. You continually asking me why we don't talk is just embarassing. We are never talking. Please dont think that because you are with A and friends with my boy that I will be around you any more than the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM. As a matter of fact, every single time we have interacted in the past few months it is because I did not know you were going to be there. If I had known I would have refrained, because it's really hard to be fake-nice to someone you truly despise for the sake of a group dynamic for more than a half hour. Notice how I acknowledge you as little as is politely possible? Do us ALL a favor and return the compliment you total dick.

to A: I hope that the reason we dont hang anymore is not your TRIFLIN ASS MAN. You know and I know his deal. TRIFLIN. I am not really stressed about it to be totally honest because we were more activity buddies than friends anyway. If this is the end of the friendship I am fine with that, I just hope it's not because you're triflin. Be happy!

[tnxbutterfly]

To E: I'm excited and nervous for you all at the same time. Driving from Cali to Georgia by yourself is pretty impressive. Plus you plan on making a pit stop just to see me

That has me really scared. We haven't seen each other in years. I know you just want to stop and catch up and maybe more I want that too, it just that I want to do alot more then catch up

I don't know what's going to happen when you get here sometime Friday.

[dojo]

To M.Z.: Don't come trying to manage my group at work like a bull in a china cabinet, cause you know nothing about what we do and you can't teach someone to drive if you dont have your license so PUMP YOUR BREAKS cause our group will hurt your feelings should it be deemed necessary ...

To L.J and H.J: now you all know that you are wrong for standing me up for the 2nd time! - Now at the last minute I have to psych myself up to make that long trek to Alabama and back in one weekend SOLO...unh unh...NOT- cool!

P.Diddy: Why in the heezy are you allowing Fred, a GROWN ARSE MAN to suck is thumb AND doze off while you are talking to him - WTH?

[IwannaBdown]

Dear BJG: I'm glad I was able to have closure with you after the end of our "thing" I didn't think I would see you again. Let's get one thing straight though, I will NEVER EVER allow you to hurt me emotionally like you did before .

Dear Joe: Stop calling me !!! I dont't call you back becaause I don't like you, I think you are boring.

Dear Joes Wife: Dont you wonder where your husband is going in the middle of the night ? I'll give you a hint: hes calling me wanting to hook up...please ask him to stop. I respect your marriage and I wish he would too.

Dear VFT: Stop trying to control everything. You cant. The only thing you can control is yourself and how you react. Please stop being dramatic about stuff...you are going to have a heart attack. P.S. stop sucking your thumb...you are 42 years old!!!!

Dear FTJR: Please develop some ambitions!!!