Question for the girls about dating

[PM_Mama00]

See with me, I pay cuz I'm a rich bitch. Or sometimes the guy is a cheap ass and has no money so I pay for both of us. Oh wait... what was I thinking? Nevermind.

[APhiAngel]

I agree with most everybody. I think that in the begining it is polite for the guy to pay but after a while the girl needs to pitch in as well. My bf and I have a mini-system where he still pays a lot but, whenever I can, I pay for big things (baseball games) or we even split it, like if we are going to dinner and a movie I'll pay for dinner and he'll pay for the miovie.
If the girl insists on paying you could either pull the line, "Next time you could pay" or you could just let her pay. Sometimes the girl likes it when the guy makes a genuine offer to pay for the date. PiKA2001, you seem like a great guy
P.S. about the whole guy friend paying thing, I have lots of guy friends and they pay for dinner or lunch when we go out, but we alternate now, because I feel bad for them paying whenever we go out.

[AchtungBaby80]

I always offer to go Dutch, but I have yet to see a guy take me up on the offer. Actually, I would be offended if he did.

But if it's not a date--if I'm just with a friend who happens to be a guy--then I would feel kinda bad if he paid the whole thing.

[absolutuscchick]

Originally posted by trisigmaAtl
i think it's really sweet of you to even think about it, I always wonder what kind of things guys think about when it comes to dating.

Me too!!! I soooo have a GC crush on PiKA2001 because he's just so thoughtful and considerate. I wish guys out in az were that sweet....it seems I only run into the assholes!

[James]

I pay. That pretty much ends it.

In fact, even in longer term relationships I paid almost all the time regardless of what it was.

So even if occassionally she paid for something it was like a proverbial drop in the bucket.

It never really bothered me until the end of the relationship when I was going to leave anyway.

[James]

Question: This is one thing that bothered me.

We were on our way to a fast food restaurant like TGIF and she suggested we go to a different place . . .

Now I always paid for everything and the difference in bills was going to be like 80 dollars for the two of us sans drinks . . . the other restaraunt was much more expensive.

For some reason that struck me as inconsiderate. Would anyone else agree?

[James]

I do think its very important for the guy to pay for the first date. Otherwise the guys isn't sure what is going on.

Is it a date or does she just want to be friends? Did she have a bad time? Are we giving off a strange funk? Inquiring minds would want to know lol . ..

It can be a good way to qualify if it is a date also.

One time I was out with a lady and she was pretty form about wanting to contribute and I responded:

"Well, since this our first date gorgeous why don't you let me cover it? This is a date isn't it? (when she blushed and said yes) I said if you really feel like covering the next one its up to you."

Went over rather well. . . I am trying to remember if I ever called her again though alas lol.

[absolutuscchick]

Originally posted by James
Question: This is one thing that bothered me.

We were on our way to a fast food restaurant like TGIF and she suggested we go to a different place . . .

Now I always paid for everything and the difference in bills was going to be like 80 dollars for the two of us sans drinks . . . the other restaraunt was much more expensive.

For some reason that struck me as inconsiderate. Would anyone else agree?

I would definitely agree...I'm always keeping in mind that he has a certain budget set aside for the date, I mean while I would think it was really awesome if he spent $80 on a meal sans drinks, I just wouldn't suggest it.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

The man pays the check. The man pays for the movie tickets, and the woman pays for the snacks and drinks. The snacks are as much as the tickets.

[librasoul22]

Only James would post three long winded replies in a row, lol.

[veemers]

I've always held to the policy of "You invite, you pay. I invite, I pay." Of course, there are those times when you go dutch, but you should always have that arrangement settled before the date, not at the restaurant.

It's worked great. All of the guys I've dated liked being treated, and it's just always worked well.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by absolutuscchick
I would definitely agree...I'm always keeping in mind that he has a certain budget set aside for the date, I mean while I would think it was really awesome if he spent $80 on a meal sans drinks, I just wouldn't suggest it.

I agree with you and James. You need to be considerate of your date's financial situation. Or if you really want to go to a place that your date can't afford, offer to pay.

[navane]

Perhaps I'm a bit old school, but I would never argue with a man about the bill when on a first date. On every date I've been on, the man didn't offer pay, he just paid. My response was to thank him for the lovely dinner.

Now, if we went for a coffee or something later in the evening, I'd offer to pay saying "Well, you paid for the meal earlier. Please allow me to treat you to the coffee." If he still insists that he'd like to take care of everything, then I just smile and thank him for being a gentleman. The last thing I want is for a man to not ask me out again because he didn't think I was gracious.

Further on in the dating process I would definitely offer to pay. Generally we seemed to take turns because the guy understood that I wanted to contribute too.
Most guys I know are ok with that.

Just a few more points. On first dates I always assume that the man wishes to pay. If he doesn't appear to be making any movement to get his wallet after a few moments, I might offer to pay "just in case".

If I ask him out, I expect to pay. If he insists that he'd like to, I'll argue that I'm the one that invited him therefore I should pay. If he still insists, then I will let him, but make him promise that he'll let me pay the next time.

I've never split a bill on a date. With my guy friends yes, but on a date, no.

Neil and I have been together forever and a day. He's still a bit of the mindset that he wants to pay for me most of the time. I think I pay for dinner like once out of every eight times! When we go to the movies, he'll get the tickets and I'll get the snacks. When we go on trips, I often pay for our admission tickets to museums or what have you.

I guess it's just a matter of what suits you and the other person.


.....Kelly

[sigma3]

I'm inclined to say let the person who asked for the date pay, unless the other person insists on splitting or paying. I've followed this advice in the past and it usually works out. (I went to an all girl's high school, so, it came up frequently for dances. If I asked, I paid) I always offer to split the bill though no matter what and have money on hand just in case. However, I'm old fashioned and I think it's nice if the guy pays if he did the asking.
But anyways, why can't guys like you be on my campus???

Courtney

[MeLikey]

I think the guy should pay on the first date... I usually offer to pay, but as someone said, it's just a polite gesture. I personally have never thought that a guy would expect something from me later just because he paid.