Looking back on Greek years

[douthit]

To be perfectly honest, I joined my fraternity a couple of years back primarily for the reasons that we "aren't supposed to mention" to freshman, i.e., the parties and girls. Being a very socially introverted kid without many friends, I was thrilled at the prospect of being somewhere where I could find a party six days a week.

Thankfully, that period of the fraternity is over, and in the time since, I have experienced all of the other great things that the college fraternity can provide: leadership development, brotherhood, lifelong connections, etc... Also, I have become so much more confident in almost any situation than I could have ever imagined.

So in other words, it's not always a bad thing to go Greek for the social aspect, but as long as someone discovers the other great things about Greek life, then the time spent in a fraternity or sorority will last long after the college experience.

[CarolinaCutie]

This question comes from a guy whose other 3 posts were bumps of UF_Pike's so-called "classic" threads...

But everyone else has had some great answers! I personally can't answer because I'm not at all close to graduating... sigh.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I look back on my college years with happy memories and some regrets. My regrets have nothing to do with going greek. Being a sorority sister was the best thing I did in college.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by CarolinaCutie
This question comes from a guy whose other 3 posts were bumps of UF_Pike's so-called "classic" threads...

Yeah, I noticed that too...and he hasn't been back to post in his own thread.

[Sverige]

I may have worded a few things wrongly. Speaking and writing in one language daily and then typing another, it's not hard to see where one can misword things.

It's not that I regret making the choices I did, I just didnt see any rational reason for doing what I did other than the reasons I stated. I doubt any of us would have had a hard time meeting women or forming a relationship with them regardless of whether not we went greek. Those reasons were the only things we could come up with as to why someone would want to join such an organization. I realize there are people who join a fraternity and inturn become more of a man, if you will, but if you already have those qualities (the confidence, leadership abilities, fitting into any social situation, and not being intimidated by others, no matter what the occasion ) why would you join? Who would want to change their lifestyle completely if it already bears the qualities such organizations claim to instill in the lives of it's members? I think it would be safe to say that you are not the same individual when you come out, than what you were when you went in.

I think most Amerikans percieve things differently than the rest of the world. Amerikans, for the most part, are lazy. That said, I can see how joining such an organization would help one through their secondary education and achieve their goal of getting a college education. However, how do you explain those who do not finish college,drop out or take an excessive amount of time to finish school while being in a fraternity. I think it's different for women who join a sorority since they normally are not the ones throwing the huge partys and indulging in long nights. If being in such an organization means you show their values throughout your life, wouldn't it be odd to see it's members with so many problems in their lives? Since that is the case with a number men who do join a fraternity, my question again, why would you want to join?

Again, I'm sure many see this message as negative but all i'm trying to do is to find the reason for being apart of something that can have such a diverse effect on the lives of it's members. I know my response is a bit late, but we're 7 hours ahead of you depending on whether or not you're on EST.

[Sverige]

Originally posted by zchi2
I was wondering the same thing. It would be hard for a greek in the Midwest to compare their greek experience with someone in the south so how would someone in another country be able to compare their Greek life to the US?

I'm really sorry that you only joined your greek organization to hook up with girls. Since that was the case, I wouldn't find it hard to understand why your greek experience was unfulfilling.

I guess I could put it like this, being in the u.s. is like being in many different countries. People throughout different parts of the u.s. act and think differently from each other. For example, you have the whole "southern hospitality" and the "western train of thought" differences. People in the u.s. are different in the same way Frenchmen, Englishmen, Swedes and Germans differ from each other. People in different parts of the u.s eat different types of food, as it is in Europe. What is acceptable in one corner of the u.s. may not be acceptable in the other corner. With that said, it is impossible to say that people in Amerikan greek systems should all be joining for the same apparent reasons. With that understanding, would it be irrational to assume that while one person is joing for reason A. and another is joining for reason B., either is in the wrong for their reasons as to why they should have joined such an organization? I think not.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by Sverige
Amerikans, for the most part, are lazy.

Oh yeah, your comments keep getting better and better.
And, it's "Americans" with a C.

[FuzzieAlum]

I live in the West and have no idea what the "western train of thought" is.

[sherbertlemons]

Originally posted by Sverige
It's not that I regret making the choices I did, I just didnt see any rational reason for doing what I did other than the reasons I stated. I doubt any of us would have had a hard time meeting women or forming a relationship with them regardless of whether not we went greek. Those reasons were the only things we could come up with as to why someone would want to join such an organization.

One of the major reasons I was initially interested in joining my organization was so that I could meet more people, both male and female. I was a sophomore when I joined, and I knew very few people. Joining Kappa broadened my social circle immensely, and I doubt I could have met nearly as many people otherwise.

Furthermore, I highly doubt that meeting people should be regarded as a "lower" function of a GLO. I went home every weekend and was pretty badly homesick my freshman year. Being a Kappa has made my university life much more homelike, and that is something that I feel indebted to my GLO for, whatever happens after I finish school.

Are there more than one of you under this sn? You refer to "we."

I realize there are people who join a fraternity and inturn become more of a man, if you will, but if you already have those qualities (the confidence, leadership abilities, fitting into any social situation, and not being intimidated by others, no matter what the occasion ) why would you join? Who would want to change their lifestyle completely if it already bears the qualities such organizations claim to instill in the lives of it's members? I think it would be safe to say that you are not the same individual when you come out, than what you were when you went in.

Frankly, if someone walked in a recruitment event thinking they are all that like you describe, I'm not sure if I'd want them as a sister. I want people I can love and be friends with, not people that clearly think they're God's gift to Kappa Kappa Gamma and that we better be thanking our lucky stars that they chose to grace our odious organization with their presence. It's obvious that this hypothethetical person you describe also is lacking a mighty important quality: humility! Whether they learn this by not receiving a bid from a few groups because of their obnoxious attitude at a recruitment event or by royally screwing up Greek Week because they refused to ask for help when they were in over their heads, trust me, they will learn it.

I also think of most of those qualities as not being "have or have not" qualities. There are different levels of proficiency. One could possess the skills at a level that suits them for middle management and not much more, or they could have them on the level of a Martin Luther King. I doubt that many college students already possess the skills needed to be the next Martin Luther King, and so it is unquestionable that everyone can benefit from building these skills. A GLO can help you to do just that.

I think most Amerikans percieve things differently than the rest of the world. Amerikans, for the most part, are lazy. That said, I can see how joining such an organization would help one through their secondary education and achieve their goal of getting a college education. However, how do you explain those who do not finish college,drop out or take an excessive amount of time to finish school while being in a fraternity. I think it's different for women who join a sorority since they normally are not the ones throwing the huge partys and indulging in long nights. If being in such an organization means you show their values throughout your life, wouldn't it be odd to see it's members with so many problems in their lives? Since that is the case with a number men who do join a fraternity, my question again, why would you want to join?

Nobody on this board, or at least I hope I am correct in this, will say that joining a GLO is a magical balm that suddenly makes everything in your life perfect forevermore. Furthermore, GLO membership does not magically make you a saint. Many people love the ritual and ideals of their GLO, but they are a lot to live up to. That's why they're called ideals, not universal truths. I'm sure that I and most of the others reading this post could name an instance when they fell far short of the ideals espoused in their ritual. It happens. The point is not that you reach them 100% all the time, but that you keep striving for them all the time. You will improve that way.

Fraternity membership is not the only reason people drop out of school. Since I've seen statistics indicating that the drop out rate is considerably lower and the GPA considerably higher amongst Greeks, that would seemingly indicate that fraternity membership is, if not a deterrent, at least not a major cause of the problem.

Honey, sorority members also stay extremely busy. I know there are weeks when I eat sleep and breathe Kappa. This has forced me to learn good time management skills and also forced me to curb my procrastination. It's somewhat of a sink or swim scenario- you either learn these skills and thrive, or you don't and have major problems in college. Frankly, I'd rather have major issues in college with time management than out in the real world. Colleges and your parents tend to be much more forgiving!

Again, I'm sure many see this message as negative but all i'm trying to do is to find the reason for being apart of something that can have such a diverse effect on the lives of it's members. I know my response is a bit late, but we're 7 hours ahead of you depending on whether or not you're on EST.

We'll be much more forgiving if you demostrate yourself to be open-minded and willing to listen. I honestly don't mind being questioned if you're interested in our side, but when it's already a foregone conclusion that GLOS=EVIL and you're just trying to bait us, it gets irritatating. Here's hoping your case is the former!

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally posted by Sverige
I may have worded a few things wrongly. Speaking and writing in one language daily and then typing another, it's not hard to see where one can misword things.

It's not that I regret making the choices I did, I just didnt see any rational reason for doing what I did other than the reasons I stated. I doubt any of us would have had a hard time meeting women or forming a relationship with them regardless of whether not we went greek. Those reasons were the only things we could come up with as to why someone would want to join such an organization. I realize there are people who join a fraternity and inturn become more of a man, if you will, but if you already have those qualities (the confidence, leadership abilities, fitting into any social situation, and not being intimidated by others, no matter what the occasion ) why would you join? Who would want to change their lifestyle completely if it already bears the qualities such organizations claim to instill in the lives of it's members? I think it would be safe to say that you are not the same individual when you come out, than what you were when you went in.

I think most Amerikans percieve things differently than the rest of the world. Amerikans, for the most part, are lazy. That said, I can see how joining such an organization would help one through their secondary education and achieve their goal of getting a college education. However, how do you explain those who do not finish college,drop out or take an excessive amount of time to finish school while being in a fraternity. I think it's different for women who join a sorority since they normally are not the ones throwing the huge partys and indulging in long nights. If being in such an organization means you show their values throughout your life, wouldn't it be odd to see it's members with so many problems in their lives? Since that is the case with a number men who do join a fraternity, my question again, why would you want to join?

Again, I'm sure many see this message as negative but all i'm trying to do is to find the reason for being apart of something that can have such a diverse effect on the lives of it's members. I know my response is a bit late, but we're 7 hours ahead of you depending on whether or not you're on EST.

Based on your answer, I realized something. You don't understand the American Greek system because you are NOT culturally American {as in grew up here} To understand it [our Greek system], you need to understand America, her history and the nuances that come with it. I don’t have the energy to explain it so I won’t but I’m sure my fellow GC’ers may decide to.

Our Greek system plays a large part in our politics, history, social areas, etc. And for all the flaws that it has, we find it quite useful as many of my fellow GCers have attested. No, our system is not perfect, but we are always seeking ways to make it better and more useful during college and after college.

Please don’t put something down you really have no knowledge of. We are happy to help you try to understand the reason/s behind our fraternal ideas.

And by the way, we are not LAZY--regardless of your definition.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

NinjaPoodle, you read my mind.

[Eirene_DGP]

Originally posted by Sverige


I think most Amerikans percieve things differently than the rest of the world. Amerikans, for the most part, are lazy.

It completely baffles me that internationals have this perception of Americans. For your information, all Americans do not have priviledged lives with nice cars, lots of money, mansions, etc. A lot of Americans work very hard for what they have and continue to work hard everyday of their lives. Its saddens me that "some" internationals have this misconception of what Americans are and what they aren't. I know my family has worked very hard for what we have and we will continue to work hard. I'm sorry that you think all Americans sh*t on golden toilets.

[Tom Earp]

sverige, I am glad at least to see you posting again! Was wondering if this was a hit and run post.

One who has graduated many years ago still have some of my best Friends who are My Brothers over a 38 years.

I would never have know over 600 Members of LXA not only in My Chapter but others if it was not for beloning to a Greek Organization! Well for that matter, the 100's who are in other Fraternity/Soroitys.

I and many of My Brothers all over are still active in My Chapter as are members of all Greek Orgs.

Can it help in the real world? The answer is YES! I would rather Hire a Greek Member over a not-greek as of the knowledge and responsabilaty that is held during the College years and the Broadening of it.

Welcome to Greek Chat and I hope you will put some more input into the site! But, I pays to learn a little more before you post negative thoughts about something that you should learn more about!

[dutchgirl]

I'd like to add my two cents.

I joined my GLO (the name which does not actually contain Greek letters, but thats a different topic) almost 8 years ago.
I guess I'm somewhere in the middle on the 'what has it done for you' discussion.
First of all: I've had a great time, met fabulous people, met my best friends, learned amazing new things (such as leadership skills. people's skills etc.) and partied a lot (I have to add: this is something 'politically correct' in dutch GLO's)
On the other hand, the reaosn why I joined was that I arrived in a new city, where I did not know anyone and joining seemed like a way to make some friends. it was! I found a home away from home.
Furthermore I'd like to add that joining groups is a human thing to do. Alomst everyone likes hanging out with likeminded people, everbody wants to have friends, so to me it seems pretty logical that students want to join clubs, bands and teams. We're human!
Having said all this, looking back on these years I have to say some of the 'magic' wears off after a couple of years. You start to see that things are almost the same year after year. You realise that those thing you fell for (such as great rush events) are a matter of routine. This however does NOT make them less valuable. Every year during rush I am amazed that 'we' (students, doing all of this voluntarily) can pull it of.
So yes, I am still glad that I joined, I have learned a lot, made friends (hopefully for life). But once you see the inside of the machine some of the magic goes away. I can see now that some of the things that meant the world to me then, were not really that important. You can get a bit carried away every once in a while!
However, I most certainly do not regret joining ! Had the time of my life and I've joked to my friends about starting a GLO for people for those no longer in college who want to meet new people!

love
Dutchgirl

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by Sverige

I think most Amerikans percieve things differently than the rest of the world. Amerikans, for the most part, are lazy. That said, I can see how joining such an organization would help one through their secondary education and achieve their goal of getting a college education. However, how do you explain those who do not finish college,drop out or take an excessive amount of time to finish school while being in a fraternity. I think it's different for women who join a sorority since they normally are not the ones throwing the huge partys and indulging in long nights. If being in such an organization means you show their values throughout your life, wouldn't it be odd to see it's members with so many problems in their lives? Since that is the case with a number men who do join a fraternity, my question again, why would you want to join?

I've seen many who were involved in college newspapers, college politics, and other orgs who also did not finish college in four years because of those other commitments - with Greek Life oftentimes it is the same thing, the person becomes very involved (taking an office, etc.) and ends up not paying as much attention to school as he or she should. I think the "graduating in more than four years" problem isn't just having to do with Greek Life - I know many a person who took more than the standard time, and he or she was not Greek at all.

It's something that happens to Greeks and non-Greeks alike. In my chapter, and at my school for that matter, the greatest majority of Greeks finish their degrees in the standard 4 years (or five years for to get their undergrad and masters), and for those who don't, it's not because of Greek Life.